watch now! detail...
(marley) come on, let's go. come on, kiddo. we're going to have some fun. (child) yeah! hey, you know i'm the best friend ever. (sarah) now get out of here. have some fun. alright. wewon't be backtill after five, so-- have lots of sexwith your husband. marley! okay. hot, steamy,unbridled sex.
woo! [shouting] thank you.you all have fun.be good for marley. we're gonnabe good, mommy. no sugar. course not. (child)she said no sugar. love you, mommy.bye. take her.have fun with her.[laughter] make that magic happen!
- you ready, baby?- yes. yeah? what are wegonna do today? go get some sugar. what?! sugar? (marley, off) if you think this is what i want out of life, you know, the whole matrimonial, maternal fairy tale, you're wrong. (marley) woo! it's not for me and that's okay, because this idea
that you have to fall in love in order to live happily ever after-- is just not true. stanley-- stanley. you gotta get up, buddy.i gotta go to work. - hey.- [growl] [chuckling]yeah, good morning. oh, shit.
[lively song] wake up one morning, you realize your life is one big compromise ohh. stuck in the job i would totallyget my brotherto go out with you, if you walk stanley for me. if i had a brother. feel like the world is personified
stanley! doo dooo doo never done all the things you will need to try stuck in one place mm, let's gosee uncle peter.good boy. good boy. ooh, there he is.good morning. [kissing] if i didn't have to work,i'd cuddle with you. - i know.- love the undies!
what i'm living for what i'm living for you ask yourself there's got to be something else something more more more! well, let the sun shine on your face and don't let your love go to waste now is the timegot to make up your mind [ding ding] let it shine on you let it shine on you you ask yourself there's got to be more than what's--
i'm living for i'm living for i'm living for [ring]excuse me. something more, more, more! let the sun shine oh!oh, my god. - here you go.- oh, thank you. (guy)whoa.watch out. you need to watchwhere you're going. hello.
poster childfor not mixingwine with vodka. you drank twice as much.how are you okay? are you okay? ohhh. are you? say yes. ohhh! glad you couldjoin us. you ready? me? i thought youwere doing this. huh. okay, why don'twe start, marley?
good morning. morning. ha. i'm sure this town has been pitchingthe hell out of you, so i won'tbother with that. but i will tell you that you'll never be number one as long asyour customer baseis 82 percent male. yes. well, womendon't buy condoms. [chuckles] not yours.
come on, gentlemen. as i'm sure you're all painfully aware, it is women, myself included, who dictate when, where, how, with whomand how many times we're gonna have sex. we can't always count on the man to have condoms lying around. so we actuallydo go buy them and when we do, we end up in the condom aisle
with a choice. so which brand do we buy? do we buy the onewhose very name trojan conjures the essence of-- penetration with protection? or do we choose the one with the skanky-looking girl, with the big tits, skimpy shortsand stripper pumps? i'll keep this one. [chuckles]
[pop] [woo-hooing] - hey!- yay! hi, baby. she had themand their condoms wrapped aroundher little finger. (male voice) alright! alright! to the youngest,the hottest vice presidentin the historyof advertising. ladies and gentlemen.
well, you shouldreally think aboutbuying a house now. yeah, why take the timeto stop and smellthe roses, right? i mean, whatyou really need is a big, fat mortgagelike an albatross around your neck. [choking] come here.i love you. okay, alright,in honor of marley's white-trash tastebuds we have...
mac and cheese pizza? you know what i wantfor my birthdaythis year? your metabolism. i'll trade youmy metabolismfor those boobs. you throwin that necklaceand you've got a deal. baby, that'sa good trade. hey, she's gonna haveher own boobssoon enough. way to keepa secret, marley. - are you getting implants?- no. i'm pregnant.
you're pregnant? cammie's gettinga little brother. - another one.- yay! but we're not ruling outthe implant thing, right? - you're disgusting.- cheers. to you, marley. - to us.- [woo-hooing] - bye, you guys.- good luck out there. hey, congratulationson the new boy. may he be happyand healthy.
and may he havea huge penis! geez! oh, well,you are just terrible. - speaking of terrible...- oh, speed dial. - marley made a booty call.- shut up. - i'm serious, baby.- bye, good night. good night, doug. - love you.- love you. hey, doug.wanna come over? oh, you're coming over.no, you are coming over.
[marley, moaning] oh, my god! oh! [dog growls and barks] [loud moaning] [moaning] [stanley, whimpering] [both sighing] mmm, not bad, mister. not bad at all. aw!
so, does this meani actually get tospend the night? i mean, i love beingthe first number on yourbooty call list, but, um-- well, second? sure. what if i wantsomething more? what if i don't? really? i thought wemade that clearwhen we first met. that's what people say at first, so no one gets hurt.
not me. [stanley, barking and scratching at door] oh! what?oh, my goodness. i love you.i love you. [sigh] real. that's not real.got it? yes. real. okay?
not real. - fake.- fake. silicon valley, got it?okay. you sure? here's a little somethingto celebrate your promotion. thank you, mommy.such a kind mama. okay. let's see. "congratulations fromyour best friends forever. renee, thomas and cammie." oh, you're so goodwith words.
mm-hm. wait, is thisthe actual gift, or are yousetting me up with him? no, see, the idea is you take him outand you, um, puta real man in. - oh!- what? like maybe doug. - who?- ohhh. oh, come on.we all knewhe wasn't a keeper. - oh! poor doug.- no poor doug. - ohhh.- thank you.
thank you. (marley)could you tell himthat marley corbett called? yeah, that'd be great.bye, bye. okay, i gottasay something. i think thisvice presidency is makingyour tits smaller. yeah. - really? - uh-huh. - hey.- hey, rob.
think marley's titsare shrinking? you mean,like, right now? - no, like, in general.- uh, yeah. how are we doingon coffee land? great. our favorite so far: 'drink thisdark-flavored spitand it'll make you shit.' [snorts] tell him the others. can't. he has to beacross town at one, and then back herefor storyboardsat three,
and then youeat dinner at six and then after dinner we have drinks with the home depot. that's why ilove this woman.i love you. jesus. he's runningyou ragged. you look not so good. marley, when did you last see a doctor? does dr phil count? oh! ow!
shit. [door closing] you look familiar. - have we had sex?- no, um, i'm sorry. never mind.i was just joking. - marley, i'm dr goldstein.- you're dr-- goldstein? yeah, i'm jewish,from mexico. no. i mean,i just expectedsomebody older, not so--
young. take a seat. oh. - so, marley--- hmm. what seems to bethe problem? not so sure.hence being here. [clicking] look up. so you'vebeen experiencingsome weight loss, right?
umm... and, uh,you've had someblood in your stool? yes, i havebeen experiencing-- some of that bleedingyou're talking about. alright, so justlie on your back. i'm gonna feel aroundyour stomach, okay? - just relax.- okay. [laughing] i'm kind of ticklish,so don't be a wuss--
don't getall feather-fing-- [laughter] [sucks in air]ow! okay, marley, we're gonna need to run some tests. [james brown music ohh! ] - up! time. time.- oh, no, no, no. pens.pens.no. pens. no. look, there's stilltwo more seconds left. - what are you doing?- guys, down. pens down.
is it weird thati always find theword 'slut'? too bad youonly get twopoints for 'slut'. whore getsyou three points. [ting] oh! time. it's pink juice time. think of itlike, like, like--bubble gum urine. yummy! bottoms up. mmmmmm.mm.
(marley) isn't this stuff supposed to clean you out? maybe you didn'tdo it right. how can shenot do it right?she drank it. maybe she drank it too fast,or, i don't know, too slow. [stomach rumbles] ooh! aw!yee-ha-ha. let us know when it starts working. oh, my god! [yelp]
- good morning, marley,- oh, really? is it? 'cause i'm aboutto get a huge camerastuck up my butt. so i don't know ifthat qualifiesas good. (doctor) i just need you to sign this document which, uh, statesthat you understand all the colonoscopy's risks,which include heavybleeding, uh, infection, perforation, rupture. on a scale of one to ten, one being "never" and ten being'happens allthe time',
what do you think thechances are that you'regonna rupture my ass? well, not.the chancesare very slim. it's, uh, more procedural. good, well, procedureaway, my friend. this is gonna be fun. would you mindrolling onto yourleft side, please. [stretching of latex gloves] thanks. [air seeping from tube]
wait a minute. before we goto whatever base this iswe're going to, um, shouldn't i knowyour first name? julian. julian goldstein. my hero. where the hellam i? - hello, marley.- holy--
wait a minute,oh, my god.i mean-- - are you god?- not really. this is just the wayyou wanted to see me. well, i love--i love whoopi, so that's,that's probably why. yeah, me too.oh, have a seat. wow. i can't believe it. guess what?you're dying. i am not dying.
i'm just a littlestressed, that's all. marley? you're dying, but i'm gonna giveyou three wishes. then i want to-- - fly.- okay. done. wait a minute.this is for real? i want a million bucks. alright, but i justhave to warn you
that that millionis only gonna be500,000 after taxes. you just took away halfbecause i didn't say'tax free'? even i don't messwith the irs. that sucks. third wish? [sigh]okay.let me think. tic-toc, baby. yeah, yeah,don't rush me. jesus. - hey. hey.- oh.
- wow.- i am sorry. - you said it, didn't you?- yeah, i did. hoo.wow. i don't know.i don't know what i want. you know.you just don'twant to admit it. but i'm pretty sure, marley, if you give it some thought, you'll figure it out. marley. (doctor) marley.
marley, wake up, it's over. what's over? where am i?where's whoopi? the procedure went fine. we're going to move youto the recovery room now. i took some biopsies. we should get results from the lab in a few days. - i think it's delicious.- i agree. i mean, it'scrunchy and chewy.
peter, i'd like toshare mine with you. here, pop.i'll go. hey, behave. geez, what the hell? okay. alright, alright. i forgot to cookthe noodles first. there's noodlesin this? do not feed this to stanley. take it, take it.
no. i'm good, look i got all this on my plate. i have cancer. i went, like, to the doctor last week and remember when i said i was fineand that i was juststressed, but-- i'm not. what are youtalking about? i have, um--colon cancer. how does one get that, you might ask. because i did,and, um,
- he said--- we don't know. of course you don't. everyone is dyingof cancer these days. why would you tryto figure it out and put yourselfout of a job? marley, i knowthis is rough, but, um--we needto talk aboutwhat to do next. and i'm going to consult with the head of the oncology department, dr sanders.
can, can, can youjust take it out, so i can goon with my life? no, unfortunately we can't. it's already spreadthroughout the entire colon, making surgery impossible at this point. and this other guywould have abetter idea? dr sanders, yes, yes. he's, he's one of the bestin the country for--late stage cancers. marley, at this point you only have two options.
either you start treatmentimmediately, or you'll die. ah. okay dr g., i'm gonna give you a little free advice. first of all,don't use the 'd' word.it's a bit of a downer. secondly, ifyou're tryingto sell me treatment, i would rethinkthe 'b' option because, let's face it,dying isn't an option. maybe try something like: 'try our newand improved chemo,
because the alternativewill leave you breathless.' but when your 2:30 walks in here and you haveto tell himthat he's dying, just try it witha little more feeling. [slam] anyway-- who wants dessert? mom? hi. sorry to call so late. [sobbing]
(marley) mom, i'm--i'm okay. [whimpering]but youhave cancer. [blows nose loudly] [whimpering] i an gonna make sure that youget the best possibletreatment for this. i don't carehow much it costs. what, are you gonna buyher a new colon? beverly, i am not going to have a money discussion. and the gloves arejust coming off. [arguing voices]
you love to talk about money. that's the only thingyou can talk about. marley needs ourlove and support. the least youcan do is pretendto be here for her. i don't have to pretend.that's your department. i'm so gladwe got together. [pop music on car radio] so what didyou tell rob? - that i have mono.- right.
- and i'm working from home.- yeah, yeah. i--i--i don't want anybodyfrom work knowing. i got it.your butt isyour business. huh? huh? - my dad flew out this morning.- your mom happy? so much soshe's celebratingby moving here. (woman)we must warn the populace.marley's mom is descending. (both sing along with radio) it could be sympathetic i can't remember half an hour since a quarter to four
[unintelligible] hey hey oh. just when you think you're in control just when you think you got ahold just when you get on a roll here we go, here we go (female dj over radio) i'll take caller 97 right now to win a prize in our contest - get the phone.- what?
- quick, marley. - ...with the code 9797. - come on! 9-7-9-7.- i got it. okay! hello? hi. hello? who's this? marley corbett.did i win? you're caller 97! congratulations! oh, my god.
- you've just won!- what did i win? you've just won a free day of hang gliding where you'll learn how to fly! woo!oh my god.thank you, thank you. yo, j. g. - hi.- how's it hanging? yeah, um--good. you hereto work on yourbedside manner? no. i was checking onsome test results.
- ah. of course.- are you on your own? - why? want to keep me company?- yeah. yeah. so how do you feel? to be honest,i could use a good laugh. - want me to tell you a joke?- i'd prefer someone funny. alright. what? go. okay, um, there'sthis guy that-- no-- it doesn't work, it doesn't work,because you justput me on the spot.
yeah. did you hear aboutthe medical student who interruptedthe proctologistduring a lecture? he said"excuse me, sir, um, but-- is that a rectalthermometer behindyour ear?" the proctologisttouched behind his earand he said: "oh, shit! some assholestole my pen." [chuckles softly] you can use that one.i've got so many more. you know, marley,it's okay tofeel nervous.
i'm not.i mean,not really. i just-- (female nurse) marley corbett? - wish me luck.- you don't need it. - you're gonna do great.- yes! what are youdoing here? [sigh]just gettingcaught up. just-- it's saturday.go home. you look like shit.
well, mono's onlymoderately contagious. it's so nicenot having you around. yeah. by the way:i licked all thewater bottles. [sucking] good afternoon. - hey!- hi. oooh. you. hi. wow. yeah, i know,my belly button is ina different zip code
than the rest of me. you just popped. - how was the appointment?- oh, good, good. my doctor says thateverything is good.thank god. - i'm sorry.- that's okay. 'cause i bet my doctoris way cuter thanyour doctor. marley! please tell meyou're not flirtingwith your doctor. - so what if i am?- you know what? never mind. - say what you were gonna say.- no, i--
why do i feellike i'm more concernedabout this than you are? like, don't you thinkyou should be focusedon getting cured rather than getting laid? can't i do both? could you just for oncenot treat everything like it was a joke? [clears throat] hey, sleepy monster,do you want to gofor a walk? [sniff]
you need to gofor a walk. [soft growl] fine. mommy's goingfor a walk. [male voice sings slow guitar song] you never know when time stops hanging out and your friends stop coming round money comes and money goes it happens all the time
the sky will never give up on me and the moon will always shine at night now that old mississippi river just keeps on winding it lets me know that it's gonna be alright i've gotta learn to trust somebody need to let someone in, yes, i do i wanna fly but i keep falling down please, y'all, help me get up again
why must i hide behind the makeup of a fool [crowd cheers] [whistling] [song ends] - hi.- what do you think? it's good.it's good,i like it. plus, i learned from,from those ladiesover there, what do you calla jazz musicianwithout a girlfriend? here we go. what?
he doesn't have a home. it's 'homeless'. [lively piano music] but 'a' for effort. oh, that was incredible. yeah, he'sbeen performingsince he was eight. - wow!- so, what are you doing now? you wanna maybe getsomething to eat with me? like, gefiltefish tacos, perhaps.
no, i can't stay.i'd love to, but it's not doctorprotocol to hang aroundwith a patient. well, i won'tsay anythingif you don't. i'm really fun. how can i sayno to that, right? &nbs; do you mindif i ask youa personal question? no. why do you nothave a girlfriend?
- is it that obvious?- oh, yeah. yup. i practically liveat the hospital. not much of a life. actually, dr sanders called me to work here out of more than 2000 applicants. you know, i can'tsacrifice that fora personal life. uh-uh. i guessi'm more of a-- cake-and-eat-it-tookind of girl. - oh, yeah?- hm.
then why aren't youin a relationship? because i don'tneed to be ina relationship to have a personal life. you're not answeringthe question. well, why don't you read about it in my next book: 'why relationships suck ass.' you know, i've never met anyone, anyone that talks so much and says nothingat the same time. okay. fine.
that was so-- this is me. and-- that's meover there. good night, dr g. good night. i'm making youa nice, big,juicy steak. ma! i've beena vegetarianfor 12 years. well, you needsome protein. [growl]
mmm! oh, by the way, yourfather called again. he said he wasgoing to dohis best to make it out here. blah, blah, blah. you know, i don't know why you didn't haveyour friend sarahwatch your dog. then i could stayhere with you. strike one.wanna try for two?
well, i can'tcontrol my allergies. [whispering]or her complaining. i heard that. i just wanna help.tell me what to do. mom, you're here.that's enough. would you goto a nutritionistif i could arrange it? - mom! - well, you know, everybody, they swear by thismacrobiotic diet. i don't want anyof that healy-feely shit.
so just back off. [soft growling] oh, this steakis burning.ay. go rubsome dander on her. go! shoo! shoo!call him, marley. call him.that's not funny. hi, dr sanders.marley. have a seat. is anyone joiningyou? mother?
oh, trust me,neither of uswant her here. [door closes] - hi. - uh-oh. two against one.this can't be good. marley, i'm sorry i have to say this, but-- there's beenno improvement. wait. what areyou saying? marley, the chemohasn't worked aswe had hoped. and the tumors have continued to grow.
what now?what, what--? there is one particular clinical trial that's had some success. although, typically-- with patientswho had a betterresult from chemo. success likepeople cured? - yeah.- what--what--what is it? it's, um, it's a series of treatments two times a week. it's injected into the affected areas. and the objective is to stop or slow down
the growth ofthe cancerous cells. it's an option. but you need to be aware that the side effects are very extreme. there are no guarantees. of course.we have to do it. so you're goingto be a guinea pig? it's not an experiment.it's a clinical trial. wh--what doyou know aboutthis clinical trial? what arethe success rates?
- he said they're pretty good. - pretty good? and that's it? you're goingto do it justoff of that? actually no,i flipped a coin. heads, do it.tails, drop dead. look, i'm just sayingthat we need to makesure this is the appropriatecourse of action. excuse me.hold on, "we"? as in you,mom and me?
because when haveyou ever been around to make anyimportant decision? you know what, marley? i'm not going to havethis conversationwith you. i-- [beep] [sucks in air] will she be ableto go home today? depends onhow she respondsto the treatment. ow.
can i be herewhile you dothe procedure? - [sigh]- no. i'm sorry, you cannot. what if i'mvery, very quiet? i'm sorry, but the concept of my mother being quiet isincredibly funny. [laughing]it is. [sigh]oh, god. (marley) am i gonna lose my hair?
(sanders) no, your hair will be fine. oh. ow! i'm sorry. [sucks in air] "roses are red,violets are blue, "i've got ass cancer, now you know too." see? now don'tyou feel guilty for leavingme all thosenasty messages
for missing work? yeah, but i'm-- you shoulda cometo me sooner. why did you keepit a secret? well, because i--ididn't want youlooking at me like you are right now. so, have you filedwith the insurance company? well, i'm notfooting the billout of my salary. no, i mean life insurance.
look, people recoverfrom cancer and, um, however much money you needto make that happen, i wantyou to have. there's an option in the company policy that says that anybody who has a-- a life-threatening illness - can cash out.- meaning how much? a million dollars. let me guess. that would be500,000 dollars after taxes. i think my godwill be gucci.
[female voice sings] oh oh oh yeah.definitely. - oh, my god.- my treat. - oh, i love it.- you can fight me for it. i've got a big gfor gorgeous. cammie goes to college,or mommy gets this bag. love you. - okay.- they're fabulous! i love them.
what do i do to get them out of my way i'll break it down for dough i want youto have these. let's go let's go like whenever before we're gonna go till we just can't go no more am i making you hot? what kindof cologneis that? oh! what? he wasflirting with me.
oh, boy. he was. you're so weird. hey. there's a maternitydepartment upstairs. you wanna check that out? you know-- i'm really tired. i think i'mgonna go homeand lie down. um, thank youso much for today.
i'll call you later.i love you. i love you too. bye. i like that. it just seemslike something that a fat jamaicanstripper would wear. is everything okay? no. it's not okay. she's really sick.
i know. and i am tryingso hard to play along, but i just--i'm terrible at it. and i--i justdon't want toruin her day. that's the last thingi want to do, so-- bye. i'll take her home. no! oh, no, it wouldlook so nice on you. yes, it would.if i was you.
a simple 'no'would have sufficed. i don't neednew clothes, mom.this is for you guys. everything you ownis swimming on you. ah. the swimminglook is in. i just want mydaughter to look good. 'cause whenyou look good,you feel good. i don't needa new wardrobeto feel good. you also don't needa negative attitude. no, you need to wake upand realize i'm notgetting any better.
okay, can wenot do this here? no, seriously! 'cause you're alwaysbitching about how dadcan't confront anything and here you arewalking aroundin a haze, like a little proteinand a designer dress is gonna cure my cancer! urgh! this is the car.this one.thank you. - was it really that bad?- i heard you from jimmy choo.
it's just thatshe drives me crazy. well, duh!she's your mom. that's her job. - thanks for everything.- thank you. ah. ow. ah. marley?hey. hey, it's okay. just give me a second. it'll be okay.
- is she gonna be alright?- she's dehydrated. a couple of bags of salineand she'll be feeling betterin no time. "she" is righthere, people. you know that 'shop till you drop' is onlyan expression, right? not bad. i know,that's the best thingi could come up with. dr. g. - ah, hi.- meet sarah.
- hi. hello.- hi. gi extra ordinaire,artist extra ordinaire. - pleased to meet you.- nice to-- oh! i--i think i'm suddenlyin the mood forsome jell-o. you need anything? really? jell-o? - i'm good. thanks.- okay. strangely, she's not so good at needles. ouch! so what happened?
i don't know.i just had a-- - sudden, searing pain.- hm. come on, doc.level with me. is all this reallygonna be worth it? yeah, um-- well just-- - tell me where exactly--- ow! - sorry.- [sigh] well, there wasa pain in my ass, but theni just realizedit was my mother.
marley, come on.just answerthe question. is there a womanwith a very big needlestanding next to me? ow! that's my skinyou're pricking. i'm sorry.i can't seemto find a vein. let me try. dr g? i think i found one. i don't know howit's doing againstmy cancer, but this treatmentsure is kickingmy ass.
two down, eight to go. hey, marley?hey. marley. - hi.- hi. hey, marley. there's, um,there's a fund raiser on saturday--for patients.it's, um-- oh, nice. yeah, it'sfor patients, and-- sorry. i'm just gonnawalk over therea little bit
where i canstill eavesdrop. i wanted to seeif you wanted tocome with me. i mean,not come withme as a date, or anythinglike that. no.no, no. it's--it's semi-formal, so i don't know if youlike the idea ofgetting dressed. i can't tellif you're tryingto talk me into it, - or talk yourself out of it.- a bit of both. - i'll see how i feel saturday.- oh, good. okay. thank you.
- sorry. thank you. bye.- bye. okay, where, besides yourlife and general hospital do doctorslook like that? i mean-- come on! (dad) hello, marley. it's your father. first of all, i don't appreciate you hanging-- [click] you know,stanley met a reallycute shitszu today. i think he had a crush.
if you'd let him mate, i'm not saying you should, but if you did, you'd probably starta whole new breed: bullshits. bullshit terriers. [whimper] okay. someone needscomfort food. i'm gonna go home
and fix youa really niceitalian dish. so later on whenyour doorbell rings, answer it.okay? beautiful. [doorbell rings] you marley? - yeah.- i'm vinnie. [deep sniff] these are for you.
thank you. i, uh--whoa, whoa. - i love you.- bastard. how do you know peter? who? i got a call from workto be here tonight. especial escorts. i'm really sorry. well, you should knowthat i definitely liveup to my nickname: little bit of heaven.
that is some offer,but, um, no. - oh, don't forget your flowers.- nah, you keep them. beautiful flowersfor a beautiful lady. actually, i don'tmean to sound rude, but-- you don'tlook so good. i'm sick.probably dying. listen, thereisn't anythingto be afraid of. i've died twiceand they broughtme back both times. really? well, didyou see anything?
like bright lightsor anything? whoopi? no. it was, uh-- more likefloating in water. it was real nice. i could have floated there forever. it wasnice to meetyou, marley. nice to meet you. vinnie! alright, i'mgoing all in.you know why?
because i got the nuts. so you shouldprobably fold, or-- what are you doing? or i'm bluffing. fold. [shooting noise] - ohhh!- ohhh! woo! - shit. see?- oh, boy. - smart.- hoo. full house, baby.
are you really single? i'm the cancerchick, remember? hardly qualifies mefor being somebody'sdream girl. why? most of the greatromances in historyend in death. romeo and juliet.jfk and jackie. - siegfried and roy.- um. roy is not dead. well, he didn'tlook too good. i just haven't foundthe right guy yet.
bullshit. who wouldn'twant a girl like you? you are just afraidto let them in, because if you doand they reject you, it hurts worsethan death. you're like-- sigmund freudall of a sudden? ja. actually, a guy thati like asked me outthis weekend. sort of. he said it wasn't a date.
- what time does it start?- five. - dinner and a movie?- fund raiser. - formal?- semi. - he's an idiot.- i know. right? well, maybe he'llwise up and treatit like a real date. if not, fuck him. would you minddoing me a favor? [rhythmic pounding on doors] (marley) oh, i like that.
(vinnie) yeah, a little bit of heaven? you want more heaven? you want a whole lot of heaven? a whole lot of heaven? oh. oh! [loud sigh] oh, my god, baby! oh, my, oh, my god,ohhh my god! ohhh! ohhh! [glass shattering] ow, the bottle. ow, ow.
- oh.- woo! - wow! oh, my.- woo. wow, vinnie. - oh.- marley. - thank you, vinnie.- you're welcome. i had so much fun. see what happenswhen you give aguy half a chance. you might be sorein the morning. - goodbye.- bye.
see ya. hey, is therea doctor in the house? [gasp]hi. ay, quã© guapa que estã¡s. no clue whatyou just said but it justsounds so goodi don't care. you're welcome. - no, for coming.- i know. would you liketo have a drink?
yeah?okay. there. - i have a good one.- could you be more specific? - a joke.- oh, god, i created a monster. - you wanna listen to it?- yes, of course. yeah. okay, um, okay. why does it suckbeing an egg? i give up. because youonly get laid once,you only get eaten once, you takelike 10 minutesto get hard
and only3 to get soft. and then you haveto share this boxwith 11 other guys. but the--but the worst thing is-- oh, it's the funny part.wait. you are theworst joke telleri've ever met. oh, yeah.yeah, yeah,that, uh, that-- the onlyperson to eversit in your face is your mother. you're just hopeless.
ms corbett. - hi.- hi, dr sanders. i'll grab an appetizer. - she's a brave girl.- yeah. you know shequit the trial. no, i-- i--ididn't know that. julian, it seems to methat your patient'shaving an easier time in keeping emotion outof this decisionthan you are. i'm just tryingto save her life.
what else ami supposed to do? why did youinvite her here? because there's patients,there's survivors. it's a fund raiserfor cancer. the line is therefor a reason, doctor. not justfor the patients. you need to think about what you're doing. - hey, can i?- yes, sir. - what did i miss?- [sigh]
do you wanna getout of here? yeah, i knowjust the place. first dinner,then a surprise. let's go. what-- a surprisein a dark alley? do you really knowwhere we're going? - yeah, i do.- yeah? where are you taking me?come on. in all the yearsyou've been here,
you've never beento a little placecalled paradise. [music] hey, hey. [dance music] hey, marley. hey. - hey. wow.- don't worry, they don't bite. [laughter and woo-hooing] much. - hey, hey, hey.- are you new in town?
hey. marley. (female voice) woo! [loud laughter] no, wait, wait, wait. hey, no, wait. - you look amazing.- hi. you're sucha tranny magnet. if i wasn't there,you could have forsure gotten some action. i know.actually, youknow that adam?
she was kindof hot, no? yeah. where did you go? do you believe in god? - wow.- no, really. uh, okay,if you ask me, dr julian goldstein,if i believe in god, i mean, i believe in scienceand in empirical evidence,so, no, no, i don't believein a higher power. but if you ask me, julian,i'd say i don't know.
why? i envypeople who do. they're so surethat something exists. what a great wayto live. without fear. what are you afraid of? - no.- come on. come on. i want to know. - the whole list?- how about the top three?
i'm afraid if i diemy mom will never recover. i worry aboutwho'd take careof my dog. anything else? i'm scared thisentire night'sgonna go by and you're nevergonna kiss me. ah. so this isa date, right? yeah-- it's just that i--they don't wanna... i quit the trial.
i want to enjoyquality of life. besides, and you'regonna thinki'm crazy, but whoopi goldberg... now she is a lady who knowswhat she's talking about. no, you don'tsound crazy at all. - you don't.- right. coming from a guywith a yo-yo collection. what? you--you don't like yo-yos? well--
you have a problemagainst yo-yos? well, let me show you. you really arethe biggest dorki've ever slept with. that's a very nicething of you to say, but it's a farbetter compliment if you leave dorkout of that sentence. you are the biggesti have ever slept with. what a trick!what a trick! (julian) yeah, yeah, i know, but i--
aha.[laughing] [macy gray singing "beauty in the world"] i know you're fed up life don't led up for us [screech] all they talk about is what is going down and what's been messed for us mm. when i look around i see blue skies
i see butterflies for us listen to the sound and lose it in sweet music and dance with me 'cause there is beauty in the world [growling] stanley, stanley,stanley, out, out. so much beauty in the world shake your booty, boys and girls for the beauty in the world
pick your diamond, pick your pearl there is beauty in the world all together now [crowd cheers and claps] [children's laughter] hey, donot look over. do you seethose two guystalking to julian? okay, look now. stop. stop looking. i'm having drinks with clark kent tonight.
and dinner with superman tomorrow. oh boy, you havetaken my whore crown and are wearing itso well. it's a little big. i've been wearing itas a belt. ahh. you know, actually, renee's lifeis looking prettygood to me lately. marley, i...
i'm sorry, marley, i don't know. i just-- i'm sorry. shh. it's okay. oh, that's sweet,isn't it? let's put it right in herewith your name on it. what do you thinkmartha stewart would think ofmy arrangement, stanley? maybe i could just quit planning parties and just do my ownflower arrangements.
you're home early. - is everything okay?- yeah, it's fine. - did something happen?- i'm going back to bed. did you and julian have a fight? well, do you wantto talk about it? maybe i could help. right. 'causeyou're the expertin relationships. mom, please, not now. while i may have made a mistake marrying your father--
may have?the man isemotionally constipated. i'm gratefulhe gave me you. [monkey cries] [whistling] [monkey-like cries] [crying out] oh, my goodness. can i have a big hug?oh. [kissing]mm.
did she tell you? god, my motheris a walking mouth. - a walking mouth.- hello, cammie. - you look very pretty today.- what do you tell him? - and i'm smart.- good girl. good girl. [pouring] oh grody, he's peeing! so what wasthis morning about? i don't know.i couldn't sleep.
but why? well, a reminder:i'm dying. yeah, okay, and ihaven't helped you, um, get in touchwith all the--the anger and... you know what?just stop. because i'mso not in the moodfor a lecture right now. hey! it's obvious that you're scared, marley. it's normal.it's fine. is it normal for doctorsto screw their patients?
we had a good time.and let's just leaveit at that. whoa, already past tense. well, reality check: it's going to bepast tense soon enough. - hey, marley...- mmm. i love you. [tsk]oh, great. fantastic. you love me.
what kind of guyfalls in love witha dying girl? hey, don't diminishwhat's going onbetween us, okay? okay? i knowwhat i'm feeling. i do too. i feel smotheredand i need youto back off! no, no-- - ow!- are you okay? leave me alone! come on, let me help you.
[shouts]i said: leave methe hell alone! - i'm sorry, sweetie.- i wanna go home. i know.i'm gonna takeyou home right now. oh, i'm sorry. let me see.let me seethat beautiful face. - let me see--- hey, you're back early. - hi, mommy.- hi, pumpkin. did you all have fun? - you're having a party.- no.
just some of theother moms dropped by, sort of animpromptu thing. it's not contagious,you know. of course not. um-- why don't you go backand play for a little bit. - bye, sweetie, i love you.- bye. i've just been reallybusy, you know. i guess withthe baby coming and-- oh, really?
well, youobviously have timefor those women in there. that's different.they're-- what? what, they're fat,and boring and-- not dying? you want me to make thismore palatable for you? - that's not what i want--- or are you just angry because you're goingto have to find anew babysitter? come on.that's exactly whati'm angry about. [loud slam]
(male voice) they could fire you on the first day. (male voice no. 2) oh, yeah? [laughter] hey, the zoo,how was it? oh, you know.it was fantastic. um, marley,this is matt. my friend who movedhere from brooklyn. nice to meet you.peter's told mea lot about you. - did he tell you i was dying?- yeah.
a couple more weeksand i'm out of here. - marley--- hey, actually... why don't you takea look at my apartment. then maybe you guyscan be neighborsand love buddies. excuse me.babe. - what are you doing?- nothing. have a good day. [fast beat guitar song sung by male voice] well, that's a pretty little girl such a pretty little girl
i think she lives around the corner from me [horn honking] shut up!shut up!i hear you! really? asshole. [gasping] [sighing] god! [scream] oh, i'm scared.
i'm scared to death. of what? - of dying.- everybody dies. what are youreally afraid of? i didn't have enough timeto do all the thingsi wanted to do. like what? buy a house! have a baby.find somebodywho loves me. you have that.or, you had it.
how do you know? he could have justbeen saying allthat stuff because he feltsorry for me. he doesn't strike me as someone wholoved you outof pity. you should try again. well, i don't knowwhat his issues are. i don't carewhat his issues are. - do you love him?- um...
do you--love him? - do you? do you love him?- i do, i do, i do. then say it ina complete sentence. i love him.i love him. i-- love him. i really do.i really love him. maybe you shouldgo back downand tell him. i can't go back down.i'm dead. you're not dead.
the car didn'tactually hit you. aside from a little headache, you should be fine. [car horn honking] [screeching brakes] oh!whoops! oh.[church bell ringing] oh look,he's right here. mom? hey.
oh. right, right. okay,i'll wait foryou outside. (marley) hi. (julian) hi. - what happened to you?- a street hit me in the face. - what?- can i talk to you? - yeah.- okay. come on. my whole lifei've been so afraidof guys lying to me, and notbeing there for me and ending upshafted like my mother.
and so somewhere along the line i just decided, i'm gonna take charge of my life, and, and, andnever let anybody ever get closeenough to hurt me. - ever.- okay. okay. and thenyou come along. with your nosein your books andyour yo-yos and your-- spouting offridiculous jokes like:"my mom sat on my-- face." so you can seehow i missed it.
what? what? you missed what? you're my third wish. come on, putyour turn signal on. don't make meguess which wayyou're gonna go. just surprise me. mom, rememberwhen i was little how i usedto masturbateall the time? and do youremember when wewent to that rug store
and i hopped upon one of thoserolled-up rugs? then you gave mea two-week time out and told menever to touchmy jingle bells again. yeah, i remember that. you know? my whole lifei think that was the only timeyou were a bad mom. yet i was such a shit. you're a daughter.
that's your job. will you help meplan my funeral? 'cause i don't want it to be some sombre affair. i want itto be a celebration. i want to put thef-u-n back in funeral. hi. listen, you've beena real bitch lately. really mean and ugly. and i just want you to knowthat i don't appreciate it.
- you don't? - no. because i'vedone nothingbut support you through this so-calleddifficult time. well, it has been hard. please--listeningto you go on andon about feeling sickand "i'm too tired" and "oh, vinniereally rocked my world." he was awesome, wasn't he?he was. - so back to you.- what?
because yourbehavior has reallymade me angry. it has. but you wannaknow what makes meblow my top, see red and makes my blood boilis the fact that i'mgonna miss you. so much. do you thinki could havethat dance now? honey, thatship sailedso long ago. you know?i thoughtyou'd never ask. [distant salsa music] [snaps fingers]
you're just scared. break it down. take all that.aw. take that. woof. woof.i mean it's so high. [spanish sports reporter] [phone rings] hi, marley, it's dad. listen, i'm coming into town tonight and i'd like to see you. i'll call you once i get to the hotel.
hope you're doing well. bye. he sounds likehe's making an effort. it's too littletoo late. go ahead. you know,i don't know the guy, and he might beas big a schmuckas you say he is, but, um, it might worthlistening to him. you know, some peoplehave a hard time openingup about their feelings. low blow.
[speaking spanish] goal! (dad)the penne arrabiatasounds good. oh thanks, buti'm trying to losea couple of pounds. - what are we doing?- what do you mean? making chit-chatlike nothing's wrongbetween us. i hate it. i'm trying to havea nice visit. by not saying anything? - what do you want me to do?- nothing. it's fine. no. no. i'm here, aren't i?
yes, dad,physically you are here. marley, come on.i'm trying. great. give theman a trophy.he's trying. could we have justone pleasant meal? just one and thentalk about this later? - fine.- thank you. no. you know what?it's not fine. because i don't knowif i have a "later." so we need to talkabout this right now,
or i walk out the door and may neversee you again. marley, wait! i don't know whatto do, kiddo. tellme what to do. dad, i don't wantto have to tell you. and i shouldn'thave to tell you. do you remember that timeprobably 20 years ago? you looked at meand said: "i'm glad "god brought meinto this world,
but i wish it was froma different father." do you remember that? and yet i saidnothing, because i didn't knowwhat to say. but it killed me inside. and now my littlegirl is very sickand i can't fix it. so please tellme what to say because i can'thave you hating melike this anymore. i love you sovery much, marley.
just tell me what to do. you just did it. renee? [knocking] renee! i know you're in here, so i'm just gonna saywhat i came here to say, which is: i'm sorry. it really hurt me when you started distancing yourself, but it's okay.
i--i get it. a new baby comingand, and me-- leaving. it's not fair havingto be so happy and-- so sad at thesame time, is it? our friendship is one of the best things in my life. and i'm sorryi'm not gonna getto know that little boy. but i knowhe'll be beautiful. just like cammie. [loud sob]
oh, my god, that little girl is amazing. [weeping] so, please,when she gets older you tell herthat i loved herlike she was my own. you sure you stillwant to do this? [male voice singing melancholy song] wooo! oh, my god. wooo! yeah! okay, okay, okay.
oh dear, oh my my woo!yeah! all the time baby hey, hey, hey.[unintelligible] you move me, baby woo! it's like you see right through me and make it easier believe me you don't really have to try
oh, because you are the best thing (female chorus) you're the best thing you are the best thing you're the best thing, baby you're the best thing, ooh ever happened to me baby, you've come a long way, baby you know i hope and i pray that you believe me - same as ever?- yeah.
hey, what areyou gonna doafter i'm gone? hm? oh, come on.you got on my caseabout not opening up. i just don't likethinking about it. but julian, i need to knowthat you're gonna be okay. no, i think weshould talk aboutwhat we're feeling. - now i've created a monster.- yeah, you have. so? um--[chuckles]
so-- this old man he goes to the doctor,and he brings hiswife along, and it'sa yearly physical,so the doctor says: "i justneed a urine sample,and a blood sample, and a sperm sample,and a stool sample." and the old man, hecannot hear very well,you know, so he looksover to his wife and he asks: "what?what is he saying?" and the wifeyells back at him:
"he wantsyour underwear!" [laughs] my work here is done. [rain falling] [gasp]oh. so, i have to go backto new york for fewdays, but, uh-- call me if youneed anything. okay? okay, i will. - i love you. - i love you too.
and this includes a big opening party? [labored breathing]alright, that's what i want. [clears throat]great. the name is sarah walker. it's a surprise. okay, thank you very much. bye, bye. hey, mom,would you do me a favor and, uh--will yougive this to sarahfor me? well, she's gonna be here in a minute. you can--
i'll make sureshe gets it. and this is for you. why-- - it's for me?- hm. mom. will you take careof stanley for me? i wouldn't have itany other way. check. [humming]
[unintelligible] you used to sing me thatto sleep every night. my friendsall have porsches i must make amends work all my life no help from my friends oh, lord,won't you buy me (both sing) a mercedes benz wanna get the ball?go get it.
go get it, buddy. i was gonna gofor a jog up the hill. and i wanted to knowif you wanted to come. sure, you start.i'll catch right up. here i go,oh, oh. on second thought,that's a reallybig hill. pussy. hm. i'm not afraidto admit it. when is juliangetting here?
he had to work late,so i just left a message. trying to letthe poor man sleep. - sarah?- hm? i'm sorry. i've been sowrapped up in all this, i haven'tstopped to ask how it was affectingall of you guys. - oh, that's...- ask how you're doing. - it's...- how are you're doing?
how are you doing? not so good. see?i didn't know that. why didn't you wishnot to die, huh? hm, there wassomething elsei wanted more. well, i wish it.i wish it right now. god? hey? god?you listening? you can't take her away.okay? i want her to stay here.
it's not gonna work. you need an anal probeand a morphine shooter. - are you scared?- no. not anymore. [siren wailing] [cell phone ringing] here you go, sir. this is peter. [groans]ahh.
(marley, off) hey you, it's me. oh, i didn't think this was going to be so difficult. i thank god you came into my life. i do. because you showed me how to be the person i always imagined myself to be. that's not even giving you enough credit, because until i met you i don't think i had any idea who i could be. so-- take care and try not to fall in love again.
ever. ever again. that's kind of a joke. - i love you.- i love you. [monitor beepsgo flat] [baby cries angrily] oh, oh, oh.i know. so, that's my story. i had some pretty amazing friends, didn't i? and i include my parents in that group,
even though my whole life i blamed them for, well, everything. but the truth is: i was afraid. i was afraid to trust and forgive. i was scared i wasn't enough. but i was. [jazz music] [unintelligible male voice] to marley.
(all)to marley! [clinking] (male voice)to marley! [cheering] [jazz music continues] - thank you, marley.- thank you, marley. (marley, off) what i wouldn't give to experience just one more time, to feel that incredible sensation
when he looked at me and i felt-- alive. [playing "when the saints go marching in"]
