watch now! detail...
♪ evening,officer clutch. ( chuckling ) bankermann,how are you? golly-gee,i'm super-duper busy. tomorrow's the big day. you're really convertingel coche's only bankinto a caf� yes indeedy, speedy.
the piston cafã©,a specialty boutique for premiere motor oils. oh, cars don't needthat fancy goo. just give mea generic 10w40. we'll stock thatas well. ( clunking ) whoops! here, walter,let me help you. back off, it's mine.
walter, you gotta stoppicking up every battered hubcapand tattered fan belt you find by the side ofthe road. why? rescuing abandoned car partsis not illegal! true, but your garagelooks like a junkyard, which is illegal,and unsafe. oh... you've become a compulsivehoarder, walter.
if you don't tidy up,i'll have to ticket you. is that whyyou called me? is this anotherintervention? no, we'reclosing the bank. what? we're moving online. online?where's that? the internet. web bankingis the future.
anyway, we're cleaning outthe vault, so i need to returnyour safe-deposit box. i've gota safety-deposit box? yes, siree. well, i can'ttake it now. that's fine. pick it upwhenever you want. the vault's notgoing anywhere. thanks.
( engine struggling ) ( engine revving ) ( tires screeching ) ( horn honking ) hey, watch where you'regoing, mayor rivet! walter, just the cari was looking for. listen, next week at el coche's 100thanniversary celebration, would you talk aboutthe old days?
the old days? you mean like100 years ago? exactly. i'm not 100 years old. you're not? no! and i'm not fromel coche. really? no.
i just moved here fromnew gasket a few years ago. eh... those cold winters weretough on my fan belts. sheesh. turn off thatracket! so, norbert,what do you think? very nice. thanks,i designed it myself. oh, it's not too much,is it?
hood ornaments are supposedto be over the top. just look atyour sister's. ( laughing ) seriously. ( sighing ) i'm getting it. my sister may not like it,but so what? bye, norbert! bye, bumper.
evening, speedy. hi, norbert. fill 'er up,please. how's married life? oh, it's fine. hmm... you don't sound likea happy newlywed. no, no, zipper'swonderful, it's just that... sometimes it's hard livingwith someone.
true that, but itbeats living alone. mmm... zipper can beso annoying. sometimes i feel likei'm about to blow a gasket. uh...want some advice? sure. when zipper does somethingyou don't like, stop, take a deep breath, smile and ask,"why?
why are youdoing that?" what if i don't likehis explanation? say, "i understandwhat you're thinking." if you're still upset, countbackwards from five. five... four... three... two...one. that works? try it. it's importantto keep your cool.
thanks, norbert. ( giggling ) sparky! sparky, turn offthat noise! ( clattering ) ( gasping ) uh-oh! gracie! i didn't mean to--
you brokethe security camera! i-- i barelybumped it. sorry. no, it's okay. i can probablyfix it. so where haveyou been, sparky? nowhere. "nowhere." what were youdoing nowhere?
driving a fewpractice laps. oh, sparky. i'm gonna bea professional racer. the chances of you making itin the racing world are one in a million. i'm fastand i want to race. it was what i wasborn to do. oh, every cargoes through that phase. but you've got to set yourchildhood dreams aside
and start thinking about what you want todo with your life. what does that mean? you need to start makingconcrete plans, setting realistic goals. like what? like... i'm planning a tailgate partyto celebrate el coche's centennial.
you could help. that's so lame. no, it's not. yes, it is. ( all )diesel! what are youdoing out of prison? i wasn't in prison. i just spent a few nightsin the impound lot. ooh, thatjoint is cramped.
( groaning ) just a few nights? but you were convicted offraud, embezzlement! impersonatinga police officer! don't forget perjury. thankfully, judge jack let me off withcommunity service. he and i go way back. what kind ofcommunity service?
uh, don't know yet. i get to decide. i'll probably dosomething for charity. helping needy carsor something. whatever. sparky, you looka little down. my dad says i'll never bea professional racer. why not? you're lightning fast.
i know. why can't my dadsee that? he stilltreats you like a kid. he does! but i'll show him. oh, i gotta get out ofel coche. every carwants to race, eh? thank you, sparky. you've given mean idea.
huh? hi, zipper. ( smooching ) welcome home, honey. all the lightsare on. smile and ask,"why? honey, why are allthe lights on? i don't know. we're saving up tobuy a garage, remember?
we're not college kidson a road trip. we don't want tospend our lives sleeping ina parking lot, right? uh, yeah. totally. so let's save money by turning offthe lights, okay? sure, if i remember. ( record scratching )
( norbert )if you're still upset,count backwards from five. whew. everything okay? oh, yeah. good morning,motor vehicles. what are youso cheery about? i've got big news. i figured outhow to fulfill my community servicerequirement.
oh. what scam have you-- shh! listen. ( static blaring ) ( man on radio ) the rush carbo show! folks, diesel has justannounced that she's organizing a drag race for charity at el coche. el coche, who'd want to drive there?
hey! pretty exciting,huh? what's the catch? there's no catch. i'll raise moneyto stage a drag race and donate the proceedsto needy cars. after deductingexpenses, of course. i want to race. wonderful.
the entry feeis 50 bucks. that much? when is it? stay tuned. i'm holding a press conferencein a few days. i don'twant you racing! ( woman moaning ) ( drilling ) ( woman )it hurts!
( man )no pain, no gain, mi amigo. oh! there you go. so? yeah, you look wicked,bumper! oh, it's nottoo much, is it? your new hood gearis totally rad! oh, i do lovejewels. don't tell my sister.
thanks! hi, otto. ( burping ) ( coughing ) sorry, little dude. guess i had too muchchassis lube for lunch. it's okay. so, how can i do you? i need to adjustmy spoiler to go faster.
oh no,your spoiler's fine. you're a sports car stokedto the max. totally! what you need is practice and maybe somepremium oil, with, like,antioxidants and stuff. check out the fancymotor juice at bankermann's new place, the, uh...the, uh...
the piston cafã©? yeah, that's it! thanks, i will. hi, otto, sparky. hi. what's up, lug nut? ( hiccuping ) oh, excuse me. sorry i can't fixthat radiator leak.
oh, it's okay. you can'tfight age, right? besides... i want to save my money fora sparkly-sparkly! ( clearing throat ) see ya. otto. i needa little more work. lug nut!
i need you toperk up my bumpers and add a fewflashy rocks. you've already had fourbody jobs this year, dude! what can i say? i like bling. otto, word on the streetis my sister bumper wants a hood ornament, somethingtall and flashy that she designed thatwould top my hood gear.
if i need to get moreaudacious, i will. i am and i will remain the fiercest carin el coche. otto, i don'twant competition, especially frommy sister. no oneoutshines lug nut. got it? ( gulping ) whoa, mellow out, dude.
oh, this drip stainis totally permanent. bummer. howdy, sparky. how mayi help you? i need a motor oil tohelp me race faster. no problemo. i've gotjust the thing. uh, how about this? a-select?
it reduces friction whiledramatically improving engine performance. sounds good. i need three cans. that's 38 bucks. 38 bucks? plus tax. being a racerisn't cheap. nope.
i'll...i'll think about it. okie-dokie. good afternoon. howdy, what's up? up? nothing's up. i'm struts and i'm doing well--not that you asked. have i arrivedin el coche?
uh-huh. i'll take thatas a yes. good. the sign suggestsyou offer for purchase the finest motor oils. yep. please uncork a canof your finest wheel de bordeaux. wheel de bordeaux,it's a rich,
full-bodied french oilwith winsome viscosity and a hint of complexity. you do carry importedmotor oils, don't you? uh, nope. why am i notsurprised? you're not fromaround here, are you? no, no. i'm from carlandia. wow.
so why are you inel coche? i'm planninga holiday here. for an acquaintance. oh, you should check outthe tailpipe training post and the flywheel drive-in, and next week, our 100thanniversary celebration begins. ah, what splendidsuggestions. may i askyour name? sparky.
you seem quiteknowledgeable and enthusiastic. one moment, i have to looksomething up on the internet. ( dial tone ) ( dialing ) ( dial-up connecting ) the name's sparky,right? yeah.
( typing ) hmm... hmm... are you searching the webfor information about me? hmm? perfect. sparky, at the moment,are you employed? no, why? would you like to earna little extra money? would i ever!
( clanking ) oh, that almost hit me! it's mine,sonny boy. back off! don't get anyideas! why would i want yourrusty rubbish? rubbish? this stuffis valuable. just keep yourdistance.
really. such a brutish jalopy. bankermann, i'm herefor my safe-deposit box. now let's see. gosh, it's been a while since i openedthe vault. the combinationis left three... no, right three... ( buzzing )
let metry it again. right two? hey, what's the holdup? one moment. open the vault! i'm trying! trying? you can't getmy valuables? just give mea moment.
help! police! the bankstole my box. ( siren blaring ) gee willikers, walter,hold your horses. ( siren approaching ) oh, heavens to betsy. what's going on? bankermannstole my valuables!
no, shh. allow me toconcentrate. right one... left two... right three. ( chiming ) that's it! phew. you couldn't rememberright one,
left two,right three? sheesh! jiminy,you made me nervous. wait here. say, you look familiar. no, i'm notfrom around here. that vault gives methe creeps. i never want togo in there again. vintage bolts.
i forgot about these. vintage bolts? my dear sir, they arepractically dust. don't get any ideas. i've gotmy eye on you. what arethe white things? packing pellets. for protection. ( phone ringing )
hello. ( woman ) struts! where are you? ma'am! i'm in el coche. one moment--excuse me. struts, i don't want to go to el coche. i don't want to go anywhere. walter, let's throwthis box away.
that's crazy talk. well, at leastthrow the pallets away. every single one of these15 pellets plays a crucial rolein protecting the bolts. you forgot you hada security box but you remember howmany pellets are in it? of course,three for each bolt. 15 in total. mark my words,
these antique bolts aregoing to be worth a lot ofmoney someday. good night, walter. sleep well. yes. i never sleep well. it's too quietin el coche. sorry about the false alarm,officer clutch. no worries.
are you surewe haven't met? ( mayor rivet on radio ) clutch, i need you now! on my way,mayor rivet. gotta race, folks. so, sparky, you want three cans of a-select? oh no. i'm not sure i can even affordto enter diesel's drag race. bankermann, here's 50 bucksfor the three cans.
and, sparky, here's another50 for the race. consider it an advance onyour first paycheck. i'm hiring you tohelp me plan my trip. great! what do i have to do? oh, justthis and that. marvelous. see you in my "neigh"tomorrow. i look forwardto working together.
what a team we'll make. ( crickets chirping ) ( grunting ) sorry, daddy. it's okay, honey. the security camera'snot broken, it's just pointed inthe wrong direction. it's supposed to recordwhat's happening near norbert, not the back lotwhere i sleep.
no one wants to watch hoursand hours of daddy snoring. ( snoring ) turn that noise... ( music stops ) ... off. oh, let's start makingpreparations for the gas-n-gotailgate party! sparky, i need you toput up the decorations. decorations?
balloons, streamers,maybe a piã±ata. well, i can't help. what do you mean? you promised. did not! did too. i don't have time. i have a job. doing what?
working for struts. struts? he's from carlandia. carlandia! ooh, i can'tstand those cars. "i'm from carlandia. "i have a queen. i'm better than you." ha-ha-ha!
what a bunch ofpretentious posers. that's funny. i say, your cruel quips maligning our faircarlandia are most uncharitable. who are you? dad, this is struts,my new boss. greetings. oh, mr. carlandia.
when are you gonna toss thatspoiled queen out on herrear bumper? dad! excuse me? let her start earningher own gas money. you would have us throwher majesty out onto the publicthoroughfares? and what would you have us dowith her priceless royal art collection?
her sumptuous palaces,hmm? convert the queen's palacesinto public parking garages and let whoeverwants her art take it. my. aren't youa revolutionary? see you tomorrow! dad, why are youso down on carlandia? well, one summer, your grandpasent me to camp there. it was horrible.
this one group ofyoung coupes teased me because i wasn't froma big city. 'course none of themamounted to anything. what does thathave to do with my job? well, i-- you told me toset realistic goals, make concrete plans. that's what i'm doing. dad, i'm not helping youwith your tailgate party
because i'm workingfor struts. end of story. ( yawning ) and i'm going to sleep. tomorrow is diesel'spress conference. ( grumbling ) oh, this isso exciting. young coupe, you mustlearn to enter a parking space slowly
and to park preciselybetween the white lines. a civilized societyrequires-- you-- you hit me! whoa, chill, bro. no dent, no foul. you crashedinto my bumper! i didn't crash--i bumped. it's cool, dude. that's whyit's called a bumper.
such outrageous,insolent-- oh, i'm gonna be sick. sister,what's on your hood? my new hood ornament. like it? i designed it myself. ahh... good morning. first, a big thank you tobankermann
and the piston cafã© for sponsoringmy charity drag race. ( applauding ) so when is the race? oh, i don't know. i was thinking, like,in two days? that's not much time. um, my bro's doingthis thing in two days. how about tomorrow?
okay. we'll runthe race tomorrow. wait a minute! what's the race course? i thought we couldstart around here and end up somewhere. we'll see. right on! ( bankermann )makes sense.
if i may, properly planninga race requires time. tomorrowis simply too soon. one needs at least-- that's enough of yoursnooty carlandia attitude. yeah, go withthe el coche flow. yo, diesel, we don't needa car wash, do we? of course not. the race istotally casual.
righteous. no, no, no. why do you care? because. because i am notmerely struts. no, i am sir struts. lord chamberlainto her majesty, queen limousine of carlandia, empress of clutch pedal,sovereign of--
"so?" her majesty is a keensupporter of charity, and she has decidedto grace el coche with her royal presencefor the drag race. i am here tomake preparations. that is, if you can decidewhen and where to run the darn thing. the queen's coming tomy drag race? what's a lord chamberlain?
it's likethe queen's maid, right? ex-excuse me?! seriously, queen limo'scoming here? yes! hey, why is therea golf ball attached toyour antenna? it's not a golf ball, it's a royal orb bestowedupon me by her majesty in commemorationof her diamond jubilee!
huh. it would makea good golf ball. "totes." yellow ballsdon't get lost. just listen! breaking news, folks. the queen of carlandia is planning to attend diesel's charity drag race in el coche. el coche.
not sure why her royal highness wants to drive there, but this could be the race of the decade. the race of the century! so let's holdthe race in four days. thank you. this is so exciting! we finally getto see someone who knowshow to accessorize. so the queen's coming.
hmm, i wonder... there must be a way to getrich off a royal drive-by. but how? where is zipper? he was supposed to behome an hour ago. zipper! evening, honey. where have you been? i lost track of time.
smile and ask, "why? honey, why didn'tyou remember that i planned a romanticdinner tonight to celebratethe anniversary of the day we met. oh, sorry. i brought you something. wiper fluid. it's scented.
bankermann! ( both giggling ) ladies. where are the queen limobumper stickers? i need a carlandiahubcap cover. sorry, ladies,we're all sold out. aww... try again tomorrow. aww.
oh, bankermann,what is all this junk? carlandia swag. it's sellinglike hotcakes. i thought the piston cafã©only sold fancy motor oils. new policy. if cars want to buysomething, we sell it. el coche's got a serious caseof royal fever. we'd be better off if the queenran out of gas on i-40. i say,how discourteous.
now, bankermann, have youever had a burglary? just wondering. can i go yet? absolutely not. so my job is tofollow you around? for the time being,yes. now i recognize you. strutterly struts! clutcher t. clutch!
of course. it's so good tosee you again. indeed it is. how long's it been? at least ten years. how do you guysknow each other? we were in securitytraining together for a few weeksin new gasket. 'course, we both had a lotfewer miles on us back then.
oh, the high jinks we gotourselves into. remember that timeyou let the air out of that mean green van'stires? how couldi ever forget? now look at you. lord chamberlain. you've reallymoved up in the world. well... you're livingthe dream.
oh, not really. for a time, i wascarlandia's chief inspector. what a stupendous jobthat was. but then thischeeky motorcycle named pinion hadthe audacity to-- well-- well, it didn'twork out. anyway,lots of things to do! toodle-oo, clutchity-clutch! toodle-oo,strutterly struts.
come along, sparky. i always likedgood ol' struts. afternoon, chief. afternoon. i still can't believediesel's gonna upstagemy tailgate party with her sham drag race. maybe you could invitequeen limo to the tailgate. i don't want that queenanywhere near this station.
norbert,what are you holding? norbert, show meyour right hose. not your left hose. your right hose. a carlandiabumper sticker? even you, norbert? el coche's never hada royal visit before. turn thatracket off! how's your jobwith struts?
terrible. oh? he's got meworking 24/7. i have, like,no time. i can't even practicefor diesel's drag race. it's not good. you took the job,you can't quit now. i know, but i willbecome a racer and no one'sgonna stop me!
come again soon. i will. really, it's perfect. i'm afraidwe're closed. already? after carefulconsideration, i decided that her majestywill park here. there's no onehere at night. splendid.
the queen preferspeace and quiet. but what ifsomething happens? sparky and i will bestanding guard. what could go wrong? evening, bankermann. diesel? i needyour approval on this drag racepublicity poster. approved.
so the travel castleshall park here. here? oh, no, no,no, no, no. queen limo is staying atmy four-star depot. but, diesel, that placehas been condemned. it hasn't been condemned,it's been foreclosed on. that's whyit's so quiet. her majestymust stay here. i insist.
no? struts,it's diesel's drag race. if she wants the queen to stayat the four-star depot, that's whereshe's staying. fine. great. it's settled, then. now, the royaltravel castle will arriveearly tomorrow morning.
we must be ready. oh, it's allcoming together perfectly. i don't knowabout that. ( man )struts! struts! ( struts ) yes, yes, i'm here. this is pinion. we are approachingel coche. try to be ready.
oh, how i loathe pinion. her majesty's travel castlewill arrive momentarily. now, let's practicethe queen's arrival. you have the music,sparky? is that a "yes"? not yet! wait for my signal. with royal ceremonies,timing is everything. when her majestyarrives, we rise and bow.
i announce, "her majesty,queen limousine of carlandia." then, on my signal, you start the music. music! a little louder. ♪ carlandia ♪ good--turn it off. now, we cannot make anymistakes tomorrow.
also, be sure to memorize the carlandianational anthem lyrics. struts, i'm not suresparky's cut out to be a royal courtier. seriously, can't youfind someone else? i need totrain for the race. no, no, you're doingmarvelously. he's justa little tired. this fuel additive will getyour engine revving.
that's nota good idea. it'll give youextra pep. wow, what's inthis stuff? wow, i feel so pumped! this is so exciting. pinion. struts. you're in chargeof the royal castle. don't muck it up.
i won't. i'll be back withher majesty tomorrow. oh, how i detest thatone-eyed scoundrel. whoa, what's that? voila. the world's most sophisticatedsecurity system. ( alarm beeping ) impressive. carlandia technology isthe world's most advanced.
nothing can defeat it. we'll see about that. it lookssecure to me. so i'm off to practicefor the race. oh, no, no, no. you must stand guard. in front ofan empty garage? duty first, sparky. besides,nothing can go wrong.
pinion would neverlet me forget it. hi, honey. what's wrong? nothing. honey, why are yousitting here when you are in pain? let's go to the mechanicand get a tune-up. nah, i'll be fine. oh, what is itwith men?
you never go to the garageuntil your radiator overheats and you get stuck bythe side of the road. basically. ( exhaling ) i'm fine. ( diesel )three, two, one. hmm. what are you doing? oh, uh, stretching.
sparky, it's late. you shouldget some sleep. i am so not tired. i warned you aboutthat fuel additive. you're gonna be jumpyall night. there's that,and i'm anxious. about my drag race? i haven't had time topractice at all thanks to struts.
well, you're not tired. go practice now. i have toguard the castle. queen limo's not here. don't put your life's dreamon hold for an empty garage. good evening. everything is in order,i see. struts, i havea question for you. how far should a carpursue his...
or her dream? if a car knowswhat he or she wants, should that cargo for it? absolutely. all cars must pursuetheir dreams. they must breakthe cruel shackles that bind them and break free, no matter whatthe consequences. i should go.
you should go, too. whoo-hoo! hi-ya! yeah! yoo-hoo! mr. struts man! good morning, struts. what is the emergency? no emergency.
then whywere you honking? we need tickets! to the royalwelcoming ceremony. we have to beas close as possible. we lovequeen limousine. we love her! you don't need tickets. there are practicallyno cars in el coche. excuse me.
i can't help it. ugh, i'm sure you can't. queen limousine shinesalmost as brightly as i do. oh, i love royalty... everything about it. i can't get enough. i always dreamed aboutbeing a princess. a princess? a dowager duchess,more likely.
the queenis like my sister. my sister in bling! that makes meher sister, too! sister! i really must go. we need morecarlandia flags. and bumper stickers. buttons! a castle inel coche.
who'd have thunk it? i gottapractice bowing. stop groveling,walter. if the founders ofour republic saw this, they'd rust in shame. the queen'salmost here! where is sparky? ( pinion ) we're approaching el coche. you ready, struts?
of course, pinion. ( grumbling ) oh dear. i can't wait! sparky,where have you been? i've been... ( cheering ) ( woman )she's here! ( fanfare playing )
sparky, stand by. and... her majesty,queen limousine of carlandia. awkward. sparky, wake up! struts can'tdo anything right. a thousand pardons,your majesty. sparky'sa little tired. this will perkhim up.
wow! music. the queen is here,start the music. ( dance music playing ) oh no! ( queen limousine )how inappropriate! what is this noise? sparky, stop! turn that off!
hubcap down! called it. stop! out of my way! it's legal to pick up and keepabandoned auto parts. look it up in the law books,sonny boy. this hubcapis not abandoned. it belongs toher majesty.
get him away! okay, sparky. start the national anthem. ( all )♪ carlandia ♪ ♪ our kingdom ♪ ♪ is the best ♪ oh, that big pearlon top is exquisite. ( strut )the great pearl on top. it's practically worthless,
relative tothe jewels, anyway. oh, those gems arejust my color! wouldn't they lookfabulous on my fenders? well, i'm disappointed. it's too much. rather gaudy, really. as coco chanelonce said, before leaving the house,always take one thing off. in queen limo's case,
she could take at leastfive things off. sister, what do youever take off? ♪ our queen is sweet ♪ ♪ our life's complete ♪ ♪ we feel so very glad ♪ yo, queenie-poo! nice rocks! uh... i'm late.
did i miss much? no, just a lot ofscraping and fawning. today is the saddest dayin el coche's history, and its most embarrassing. ( man on tv ) the queen's royal schedule in el coche is as follows. tomorrow-- ( woman on tv ) spokes and her sisters gather for the intervention. ( man ) so he drove where the road beckoned. what are you...
honey, why are you changingthe channel every few seconds? let's go back to the showabout the queen's visit. i can't rememberwhat channel it was. oh well. oh, what a dreadful day. that awfulrock-'n'-roll. it's industrial music. that old rust bucket
who tried tosteal my hubcap. your hubcap fell off. oh, why are we herein this ghastly place? your majesty... we're here forthe charity race. i knew it wasa bad idea. it's not a bad idea. perhapsi should stay. or perhaps we shouldmake a u-turn
and returnto carlandia. duty first. you must returnto the palace. prince turboneeds a tune-up. we shall see youin a few days. as you wish,your majesty. oh, my muffler. we shall sleep. ( gate creaking )
that didn't go well. where are you going? to review the preparationsfor tomorrow's drag race. everythingmust go smoothly. but you're supposed tostand guard with me. after today's disastrousarrival ceremony, we can't affordany more mistakes. sparky, why aren't youpracticing for the race? i can't.
i'm guardingthe queen. where's struts? he split. interesting. well, you shouldsplit, too. who's gonnaguard the queen? she doesn't needguarding. look at this security. besides,i'll be here.
sparky, if you give upon your dream, you'll regret it forthe rest of your life. just go,i'll watch the queen. thanks, diesel. welcome back. good practice? yeah, buti'm exhausted. you'll sleep soundly. well, i'm off.
tomorrow'sthe big race. good luck. ( clinking ) ( glass shattering ) ( clinking continues ) good morning,sir struts. you're up early. uh-huh... yes. today is the big race.
nothing can go wrong. ( queen limousine screaming ) the queen! ( queen limousine crying ) your majesty! what happened? ( crying ) someone stolethe crown jewels! ( screaming )
sparky,who stole them? i don't know! you werestanding guard! yeah, but-- but what? oh, i nevershould have come. yes? ( pinion ) struts, is it true? pinion, good morning.
is-- is what true? were the queen's jewels stolen? well, then crown jewelsare, um, missing, but-- why am i not surprised? pinion, i am an expert inforensic investigation. allow me to-- you're an idiot! i'll be there as soon as i finish prince turbo's tune-up.
right. goodbye, then. carlandia isdispatching help, which will be here ina few days. in the meantime,officer clutch, i'd like to beappointed lead detective. working with you,of course. sure, struts. i'm really sorryabout this.
no, no, you havebeen most vigilant. unlike sparky. if you hadn't disappearedlast night-- if you hadn't botchedthe welcoming ceremony... if you'd let me-- enough! pinion is coming and he'sbringing high-tech gadgets, including the lie detector, but i resolve to solve thiscase before he arrives
using my sharpobservational skills and keen intuition. i'll show pinion. he'll regret the dayhe fired me as carlandia'slead investigator. by the way, at this point,everyone is a suspect. ( all gasping ) whoever did it,he was sneaky. he... or she.
i have an announcement. because of the heist ofthe queen's bling, my charitydrag race is postponed. indefinitely. do we getour money back? oh, heavens no. i knew it. diesel, you arecharged with the theft ofthe crown jewels.
prove it. i shall. in car court. book her, clutch. ( camera clicking ) ( gavel banging ) ( man )order! struts, your witness. thank you, your honor.
diesel, you've beenin court before, haven't you? many times. ( all laughing ) order! this financial accountingof your drag race proves that it wasa scam to make money. you collected 14,000 bucks but planned to donate tocharity only 500.
500? more like 275. but it was all legal. there werea lot of expenses. why did you insistthat queen limousine stay at your four-stardepot? so you couldsteal her jewels?! i just wantedthe publicity. you've beenarrested three times!
at least. you coveted the jewels. you craved them! duh. but i couldn't figure outhow to snatch 'em without tripping thatannoying security system. didn't you? everyone saw you practicingthe crime with your winch. it wasn't long enoughto reach
betweenthe laser beams. believe me, i tried. besides, if i'd stolenthe bling, you think i'dstill be here? no, she'd be long gone. i rest my case. any more questions? but you remainthe prime suspect. what else is new?
case dismissed! queen limousine! she's naked! of course! how could i have beenso foolish? otto did it! why do youthink that? a gut feeling. i'm always right.
tomorrow we go tootto's swag. shouldn't we go now? there's no rush. we have to prepare,or prepare to fail. but the evidence-- sparky, you haveexcellent instincts. you'll make a finedetective someday. but let me takethe lead on this case. don't worry, we'll geta conviction.
a conviction? pinion will rue the dayhe so cruelly fired me. ( man on tv ) all carlandia's demanding to know what happened. how come no one saw the thief? how was the thief able to evade the laser system? zipper? and most importantly, where are the jewels now? honey, why didn't youturn off the lights and tv before you wentto sleep?
didn't i? that's--that's not good. i should really... hi, dad. oh, hi, son. this darn security camerastill won't budge. you don't look happy. i'm not. is strutsdriving you nuts?
yeah, but it'snot that. it's-- i feel bad. i was the onestanding guard when the jewelswere stolen. ah, don't feeltoo guilty. the thief wasprobably a real pro. otherwise, you would haveheard something. well, what? i might haveheard something if...
if? if i hadn'tfallen asleep. oh, sparky! i was really tired. i gotta help solvethe case or i'll neverforgive myself. i've gotta makethings right. ( lug nut )ahh... ow! ouch!
( otto )no pain, no gain, mi amigo. ow! does my new hood gear have more street credthan bumper's? thanks, otto. something's not right. hey, dudes! ah-ha! what do wehave here?
beats me. these look like pearlsfrom the queen's crown! otto, you are charged with whoa! that's heavy. wait! these aren't pearls. pearls arehard and shiny. these are softand squishy.
we need thiscase closed. you need thiscase closed. but-- you're the onewho was standing guard and your past is notexactly clean. three speeding tickets, four citations forrunning red lights and you still haven't passedyour emissions inspection. pinion and his minionswill be here soon.
if we don't solvethe crime before they arrive, you might becomethe prime suspect, or worse... me. still, we can't convictan innocent car. well, no,of course not. in fact, they looklike packing pellets. packing pellets? packing pellets, like the ones in walter'sbox of old junk.
good job, sparky. slow down! there's no proof thatthese are walter's. sparky,i'm the expert. watch and learn. now it seems walter has someexplaining to do. sparky, you looka little troubled. may i help you withanything? oh, um... no.
well, i know whatit's like to be upset. i noticed. don't get cheeky. you are conversingwith a queen. oops. don't be. whatever's bothering you,let it go until the morning. sleep brings courage. well, good night,sparky.
evening, son. boy, i wish i could fall asleepas quickly as queen limo. so whatare you doing? trying to figure out howthe thief did it. well, first he confirmedthat the guard was asleep. ha-ha-ha. let's struts worry aboutwhy his screwy security system failed. it's notyour problem.
actually,it might be. what if pinionblames me? you? struts is the onewho let queen limo sleep in an exposedparking lot owned by diesel, a three-timeconvicted felon. dad, remember that timei got towed for having anexpired registration?
even though itwasn't? yeah? or that time i got a ticketfor parking near a fire hydrant thatwas hidden in the bushes? uh-huh... why? both times, officer clutchthought about arresting me but then he looked atthe evidence, realized i was innocentand dropped the cases. struts isn't doing that.
he's fixated on gettinga conviction no matter what. first he dragged diesel tocar court with no proof, then he wentafter otto! otto? i bet the thief wasn'teven from el coche. i bet it was a randomact of highway robbery. or maybe the queen stashedthe jewels somewhere to collectthe insurance money. dad, shh!
she's right here. sparky,something's not right. drive away beforeit's too late. it's already too late. tomorrow, we're backin car court and i'm noteven sure why. hey, watch whereyou're going! you sure about this? proceed.
i call walter. how long is thisgonna take? i've got a valve-changeappointment in half an hour. walter,where are you from? new gasket. new gasket, a city riddled withunlawful activity. is that where youbegan your life of crime? life of crime?
who is this guy? walter,do you sleep well? not usually, no. so you have plenty of time to poach precious gems inthe middle of the night. at the royalwelcoming ceremony, you tried to steal her majesty's hubcap,didn't you? it fell off.
rescuing abandoned partsis legal, sonny boy. you possesspacking pellets. these packing pellets werefound at otto's swag. those aren't mine. oh, but i thinkthey are yours, from your rusty oldsafe-deposit box. i think you stolethe crown jewels, then planted some of yourpacking pellets at otto's swag,
so we investigatorswould think otto committed the crime. i think you don'tknow me. i have only15 packing pellets and i never let them outof this box. these antiquebolts are delicate. hey, give me that back! how do we knowyou only had 15? walter had only 15 pellets,your honor.
i can vouch for that. so can i. one, two, three,four, five, six, seven,eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. yep,they're all here. you got yellow painton my pellet. stupid golf ball. it's a royal orbbestowed on me by her--
if there are no objections,i'm releasing walter. struts should beremoved from the case. he doesn't careabout justice. struts justwants a conviction so he can get back to hiscushy life in carlandia. so what do youthink, sparky? should we take struts offthe royal heist case? struts and i aremaking progress. eliminatingsuspects, gathering clues.
i'm learning a lot. struts thinks i'll makea good detective someday. well, you would. but struts isn't fitto be in law enforcement. he tried to convictdiesel, otto and walter withprecious little evidence. maybe you're right,fender. i'll think about it. watchingthe traffic go by.
that guy drove by about20 minutes ago. i bet he's lost. honey, what are theseold wiper blades and rags doingon the pavement? oh yeah,i'll clean 'em up. when? honey, why don't you clean upthis old junk now? but i'm watching traffic. wanna watchtraffic with me?
not tonight. eh, suit yourself. good morning, sparky. fender. what do you want? we're her tolook around... and chat. fender, on the nightin question, you were here,right across the street from the scene ofthe crime,
weren't you? yeah, so? so you didn'tsee anything? yet, you're sure the thiefwas not from el coche. well, i'm not sure,it's a theory. that the theft was a randomact of highway robbery. such a convenient theory. what's in here? tools.
let's take a look,shall we? it's a bunch of old,rusty-- what's that? the great peal fromqueen limousine's crown! how'd that get there? fender, you are charged with the theftof the crown jewels. this is a setup! book him, clutch.
i didn't do it! i didn't do it. you don't believe me. of course i do. but how did the great pearlget into your toolbox? someone planted it. only a car from el coche would knowabout your toolbox. so much for your theory aboutan outsider being the thief.
hmm, good point. you would makea good detective. sparky, i'm innocent. on the night of the crime,i went to sleep at 10:30 and didn'tmove until dawn. there's no way i-- you didn't move? uh, no. like you,i sleep pretty soundly.
not as well as thatqueen, but-- i gotta go! where are you off to? i don't want to bealone here. ( judge )order! where's sparky? ready, struts? i, uh, was waiting for myassistant, but... we can begin.
your witness. fender, you regularlyridicule royalty, don't you? it's a free country. i'll takethat as a yes. you don't believe monarchs deserve their privileges,do you? all carsare created equal. so that's why you feltat liberty to steal
her majesty's jewels! i didn'tsteal anything. you believe her majesty'spalaces should be convertedto parking garages, that her art should bedistributed to the masses! i do. you hid the great pearlin your toolbox. where are the restof the jewels? i have no idea.
i object! sparky? my father is innocent and i can prove it. no, you can't. dad, on the nightof the crime, where were you? at my gas station,asleep. the whole night?
your honor,he has no proof. yes, i do. this is security camerafootage of my father that night. it shows that he was parkedand snoring the whole time. let me see that. 1:00... 2:00... 3:00... 4:00... 5:00...
not guilty. fender,you are free to go. hello? ( pinion ) struts, did you recover the crown jewels yet? ahh. no, pinion, but-- spare me your excuses. we'll be there soon. roger that.
pinion's almost here. we've got to wrapthis case up, pronto. so i can return to carlandiaas chief inspector. we can't cut corners. sparky, stopstirring up trouble. from now on, keep quiet, lay lowand follow my lead. cars' livesare on the line. if i disagree with you,i'm gonna say something,
do something. that's it,you're fired. you can't fire me. i quit! hmm, what an unexpectedturn of events. ( zipper snoring ) ( laughing on tv ) oh, this isridiculous! zipper, wake up!
i can'ttake it anymore. take what? stop wasting electricity. stop leavingjunk around. stop ignoringthe mechanic's advice. why-- why are you suddenlyso angry? i'm not suddenly angry. it's been driving menuts for weeks. why didn't yousay something?
because! because norbertsuggested i keep quiet. communication is keyin any relationship. if it means that much to you, let's turn off the lights,clean up this mess and head tothe mechanic. oh... oh, zipper! thank you! did her majesty reallysummon me for an audience?
no, i did. ugh... you once said that youalways dreamt of being a princess,didn't you? i did. and you love bling? almost as muchas you hate competition. queen limousine iscompetition, isn't she? that's why you stolethe crown jewels, isn't it?
so that queen limousinewouldn't outshine you. struts, do you have any proofthat lug nut-- officer clutch, please. struts, i'm worriedthat you've changed. what's all the commotion? this doesn't concern you. lug nut, you are chargedwith the theft of the crown jewels. i would never, ever!
tell it to the judge. lug nut could nothave done it. i told youto stop interfering. pipe down. struts,let sparky speak. follow me. the thief must haveparked around here for at least a few minutes to steal allthe jewels, right?
well, yes. lug nut constantlydrip-drip-drips oil, right? if she were the thief, the pavement would bediscolored. no stain on the cementmeans she's innocent. that rhymes! kind of. oh, lug nut doesn'tdrip that much oil. lug nut, you arefree to go.
goodbye, lug nut. by the way,i love your new look. oh, your majesty! work that hood,girlfriend. your majesty, please. these common carsare-- oh, hush, struts. lug nut is fierce. queen limo, wanna takea little drive?
what a splendid idea. that's it, sparky. i've had enough ofyour meddling. from now on,no more mr. nice guy. when was struts evermr. nice guy? sparky, there aretoo many balloons! ( balloon popping ) still too manyballoons? norbert, we've got enoughhigh octane, right?
there's nothing worsethan running out of gas at a tailgate party. don't worry, boss. you all seemso happy scooting about. for what are you makingpreparations, may i ask? we're throwing a tailgateparty later today. how marvelous! we don't have thosein carlandia.
are they fun? we enjoy them. but then again, we're justsimple country cars. simple, decent cars. the best kind. but i bet you can'twait to get back to your big, fancy palace. actually, i'm thoroughlyenjoying el coche. you said our townwas ghastly.
oh, that wasvery wrong of me. my apologies. you have to understand,when i first arrived, i was in great pain from my recentmuffler-replacement surgery. the royal mechanic recommendedi not travel, you know,but i think he was wrong. this excursion hasbeen wonderful. even with the crown jewelsbeing stolen?
oh, i want them back, but cominghere and meeting salt-of-the-earthautomobiles has beenrefreshing, invigorating. well, enjoy yourtailgate party, whenever it is. invite her! ( all grumbling ) your, um...your majesty?
would you like to join usat the tailgate party? that sounds delightful. see you later. you look pretty pleased,norbert. i am. ( balloons popping ) ahh... ahh! dad, should i inflatemore balloons? your majesty, want totry a desert wax?
that sounds enchanting. majesty, please. this carousing withundistinguished vehicles is highly inappropriate. don't you have somethingbetter to do than shadow me? like findingmy jewels? did you find them,struts? where arethe crown jewels?
well, the investigation isproceeding auspiciously. we've eliminatedseveral suspects, including walter, lug nut,fender and diesel. no, she'sstill a suspect. have you figured outhow the thief defeated your sillylaser security system? um, well... i knew your laser schemewouldn't work and i knew youwere a lousy inspector.
you are off-- no, wait! i've... i've known all alongwho the thief is and now that you're herewith the lie detector, i can prove it. may i? enjoying the fine weather,mayor rivet? ( dinging )
that is the truth. you happy to be here,bankermann? that is a lie! i didn't stealthe crown jewels, i promise. i know that. on the night the crown jewelswere stolen, what was your job? to stand guard. and did youdo your job?
well, yeah... you were notstanding guard because you were too busy stealingthe crown jewels! how many speeding ticketshave you received? four. how many citations forrunning a red light? um... three.
and you still haven't passedyour emissions inspection, have you? you're a juveniledelinquent. you wanted to help mewith the royal visit so you could stealthe queen's jewels, didn't you? no, i-- save it forthe judge. ( panting )
son. dad, i didn'tsteal anything. i'm a bad guard,but i'm not a thief! i'm scared. it'll be all right. will it? you warned me not to getinvolved with struts. oh, whydidn't i listen? it'll be okay.
i guess you don't have toworry about me racing. i'll be too busy makinglicense plates in prison! you are notgoing to prison. you don't know that. and struts'witch hunt will end. i promise. so, sparky. on the nightof the theft, your job was tostay awake
and guardqueen limousine. did you? where did youhide the jewels? i didn't touch them! oh, come now. we knowyou stole them. where are they? how should i know? oh, now what?
sparky didn't stealthe crown jewels. but i know who did. you do? who? struts, you wereright the first time. i stole them. you did?you did! but what aboutthe security camera footage of you sleeping?
well, maybe that wasa different night. dad, you didn'tsteal anything. sparky... okay, so whereare the jewels? they are, um, well... i left them bythe side of the road. where? i can't recall. fender, thinkvery carefully.
your freedom, your futureis on the line. do you plead guiltyto this crime? well then, struts, any objection toreleasing sparky? hmm?oh, no, no. by all means,let sparky go. fender, i have no choicebut to sentence you to five yearsfor grand larceny. case closed.
not bad work,eh, pinion? struts,something's fishy. there's no prooffender did it. worse, the jewelsare still missing. i'm dubious. dubious or jealous? it doesn't matter,because struts is back! or should i say,chief inspector struts? ( man )the rush carbo show!
folks, i'm outsidethe courthouse in el coche. el coche, who'd havethunk it? there he is! fender,where are the jewels? no comment. will you miss the openhighway behind bars? and here is the vehicleof the hour, struts! you fingered fenderas the perpetrator. how'd you know?
well, rush,in all candor, cracking the case was assimple as one, two, three. this case has takenmore hairpin turns than an alpine speedway. indeed, but asa seasoned detective, i'm surprised by nothing. your honor, we requesta special hearing. okay, everyone... court'sback in session.
some suggested this casewas unsolvable. nonsense, i thought. with my experience,it was merely a-- we've got to getback inside. car courtis back in session. pinion? thank you, pinion. me? i have questions.
for whom? for you! why did you hire me, knowing i wasticketed for speeding, running a few lights and failingmy pollution test? i... well... well, everyonedeserves a second chance. perhaps.
or maybeyou hired me so you could set me up how could i have known? "i need to makean arrest," you said. "i need a conviction,"you said. but you never saidwe need to catch the thief. i don't follow. queen limousine didn'twant to visit el coche. why did you insiston coming here?
for the charity drag race,of course. charity, or did youdecide to come here because el cocheis a sleepy backwater, a trusting place where you could commityour heinous crime? my heinous crime? you insisted otto mightbe guilty of the theft just after diesel's trial, yet you refused tovisit otto's swag
until the next day. so you couldplant false evidence. the packing pellets. and when that didn't work,you tried to frame walter, and when that didn't work,you tried to frame my father by planting the great pearlin his toolbox. fascinating theories,but you have no proof. struts, why did youdesperately want the queen to stayat the piston cafã©?
but you do recall thatthe piston cafã© has an old bank vault. a vault you knowthe combination to, a vault bankermann sworehe'd never use again, a vault where you couldhide the crown jewels until things calmed down. your honor,i move we move to the piston cafã©. i object.
overruled. open the vault doors,struts. how should i knowthe combination? because you werehere when bankermann opened the vaultfor walter! well, perhaps, but how couldi be expected to rememberthe combination? oh, come on. it's easy.
right one,and left two, right three. how could you forget? here, i'll open it. i knew it! my jewels! oh, thank you,sparky. yes, thank you,sparky. we foundthe crown jewels. unfortunately, there's noevidence of who stole them,
but such is life. back to carlandia. we should celebrate. ah, but there is evidenceof who stole them. this yellow paint! oh, yes! hey, that's paint fromstruts' golf ball! it's a royal orb bestowed byher majesty in commemoration of--
oh, forget it. struts, you areunder arrest for the theftof the crown jewels. why'd you do it,struts? because i was sick ofgroveling to bigwigs! i craved freedom! you can forgetabout freedom. struts, i'm sentencingyou to six years in prison. six years!
fender only got five yearsfor the same crime! i like fender. life is so unfair. sparky and zipperare neck and neck, but lug nut is coming on fast as they approachthe finish line! it's sparky, it's zipper,it's... sparky, the winner! yay!
sparky, wow! my, he reallyis fast. congratulations, sparky. you recovered my jewels,you won the race. won't you pleaseconsider working at my royal palace incarlandia? no thanks, your majesty. el cocheis my home. i can't imagine livinganywhere else.
nice driving, honey. sorry i came insecond. oh, zipper, you'll always benumber one in my book.
