watch now! detail...
(waves rolling into shore) (wind blowing) (stirring string music begins) there you are. i've been looking for you. have you seen my other shoe? what? (chuckles):what? why are you lookingat me like that?
(alarm clock blaring) go potty. scotty. come on, boy. go potty, scotty. ♪ ♪ (sighs softly) (dog toy squeaks) don't look at me like that.
(toy squeaks) (phone ringing) yes. man:great way to startthe day, right? i think i'm gonna puke. mom said you wenton a date last week. how'd it go? it was okay. "okay" as inyou got laid?
harry. she can't hear you. don't you want tohave sex, like... ever againin your life? (whispering):yes. i just don't think thati'm the dating type. girls... only wantto sleep with me because they readmy book in high school. so?
so they're notinterested in me. they're interestedin some idea of me. that's why you shouldkeep working out. that way, they'll wantyou for your body. what does thisthing even do? turns you into a god. keep going. hey... i had a weirddream last night. there was this girl,
and she was... what'd she look like? oh... just a normal girl.just a girl i made up. well, what happened? she just talked to me. that's depressing. actually, it was really nice. seriously?
you don't evenget laid in your dreams? that's... that's just sad. hey, how's the new bookcoming along? i don't know. i get a good idea, like whydon't i write about my dad, and then... bam. i start thinking that it'sthe stupidest thing ever. who wants to read about,
"he was disappointed in me,blah, blah, blah?" also, i'm feelingambivalent about scotty. yeah, he slobbers.he chews things. he pees like a girl, which for some reasonmakes me feel inadequate. plus, he needs to go outside alot, and that breaks up my day. maybe that's whyi'm not writing. man:do you think that'swhy you're not writing? (sighs):no.
why do you thinkyou're not writing? can i have bobby now? do you need bobby now? calvin... when's the last timeyou saw a friend? harry. yesterday. no, no. someone otherthan your brother. uh, have you been giving bobbyto your other patients? no. bobby is just for you.
'cause he smells weird. when you were decidingto get scotty, what did we talk about? what did you sayyour hopes were? do you remember? (quietly): that he wouldhelp me meet people. a little louder, please? that he would be awesome,and we'd take hikes and stuff. and people wouldstop to pet him,
and i would meet them. but scotty gets scaredwhen people try to pet him. does that embarrass you? no. i want to give youa writing assignment. can't write. okay. this wouldjust be for me. i'd like you towrite a page...
about someonewho sees scotty, all slobbery and scared, and likes him anyway,just the way he is. you think you coulddo that for me? can it be bad? i'd like it tobe very bad. (crowd applauding) langdon:i first met calvinwhen he was 19 years old. and he'd already been at the top
of the new york times bestseller list, uh, for several months. and i remember thinking... (sighs) ...who the fuck is this kid? (audience chuckles) and, uh... how can i goback in time and be him? (audience laughs) a high school dropoutwith acne still on his chin
gave us what mayvery well become a classic american novel. since then, of course, we'veall enjoyed his short stories, uh, includinglast year's novella "breakfast for dinner." but it was only when i sat downand reread his novel-- now available in a beautifultenth anniversary edition-- that, uh, i realized just how good a writercalvin weir-fields is.
we are lucky to have him around. ladies and gentlemen,calvin weir-fields. (audience applauding) phenomenal, man. oh, hey.thank you. um, just brilliant. thanks. brilliant. really. oh, thanks so much.
come and meet calvin. thank you. calvin, hi! hi. you know that chapter wherecharlie goes to the whorehouse? hey, calvin. did you makethe whores dress blue because it's the same coloras his mother's apron? oh, sorry, what?
hey. hey. i was just wondering,how did you know where to send your manuscript? uh, i looked it up. oh. of course. is it weird for you thatyou used to be so successful? (crowd murmuring) there's the man! cyrus... you gotta remind meabout these things.
you have to checkyour messages, buddy. i would've wornsomething nicer. no one cares whatyou're wearing. you are a genius. don't use that word. (indistinct chatter) photographer:mr. perotta, over here! langdon: calvin always had talent. photographer 2:over here!
langdon: but that, unfortunately, is not enough. photographer 3:langdon, right here! langdon: all i did, really, was... guide... guide him inthe right direction and, uh... yeah, like, pass the baton. mabel. i'm-i'm mabel. oh, do i know you? no, no.
um, do you want my number? langdon: it's a one-off, that book. it's like the sort of first album... yeah. ...of an indie band. it-it has a sort of unselfconsciousverve... that, um... that you don't, uh... then, of course, there's thesecond album syndrome, you know, which, uh,we don't talk about that.
everyone loves this book, but we want to hearwhat you're doing now. what matters is right now. what are you working on?are you working on something? langdon: they love you, then they throw you away. i mean, if i'm gonna includeanybody contemporary, i'd... langdon: it's actually easier if you've only ever been medi-mediocre. yeah, but if you've been at the top...
hi. hi. sorry. ...it can kill you. yeah, salinger hadthe right idea. he... write what you can,then-- pssht!-- disappear. you know? so, i've had a drink. but no-no coke. i didn't...no-no coke. i didn't do any coke.
scotty? sorry i'm late, buddy. scotty, what the fuck? (music begins, birds chirping) woman: she's so cute. calvin:what? your dog.she's so cute. oh, he's a boy dog. he just peed like a girl.
have we met before? i don't think so. do you mind if i draw him? uh, but don't get too close. he's a-a littlescared of people. you're an artist? i'm super good. really? what's your dog's name?
uh, scotty. are you scottish? uh, no. i named him forf. scott fitzgerald. who? f. scott fitzgerald. the novelist. great gatsby. i don't reada lot of fiction.
you've never heard off. scott fitzgerald? why? is he really famousand important? well... he's probably one of the greatest novelistswho ever lived. isn't that disrespectful? naming your dog after him? it's a little disrespectful.
no, it's a gesture. yeah, an aggressive gesture. think about it. you're a novelist. you think this guy'sthe greatest. so, you name your dog after himto cut him down to size. this way, you canput him on a leash, and yell, "bad scotty,"and feel all superior because you pee inside.
kill your idols, man. i'm all for it. all right. scotty. hang on. this is beautiful. your dog might pee like a lady,but i like him anyway. hey, what did you say? i like him. just the way he is.
(stirring music begins) yes. yes. (typewriter keys clicking) (repeated dinging) (low muttering) you're a genius. man:i thought we weren't going to usethat word, calvin. no, you are really, really,really super fucking smart.
"i'd like it to be bad"? i'm glad you found somethingthat inspires you. (sighs)inspires me? it overwhelms me. i literallycannot sleep or eat. all i want to dois write. i mean, i almost didn't come here today because i didn't wantto be away from her.
oh, god. oh, my god.oh, i... i can't say it out loud.it's too stupid. well, i love it whenyou say stupid things. oh, no, this isreally profoundly stupid. (groans) okay, so the guy i'm writing... yeah, what's his name? uh, calvin.
i'm going to change it. uh, anyway, there'sa lot of me in him. what i'm trying to say is... it's almost like i'm writingto spend time with her. the girl. the one i'm writing. it's... i goto sleep at night just waiting to getto my typewriter again so i can be with her.
it's like...it's like i'm falling in love with her. that's wonderful. no, it's not. i can't fallin love with a girl i write. why not? 'cause she's not real. isn't she? are you sure? she's some motherfucking product
of my imagination! oh, lila treated me so badly. i know. who leaves someoneright after their father dies? oh, someone who couldn'tlove you properly. someone who is a heartless slut. well, tell me about her. i don't want to talkabout lila anymore. well, i meant this girlthat you're writing.
tell me about her. ruby. ruby sparks. 26 years old. raised in dayton, ohio. man:why dayton? calvin:sounds romantic. ruby's first crushes werehumphrey bogart and john lennon. she cried the day she found outthey were already dead.
ruby got kicked outof high school for sleeping with her art teacher...or maybe her spanish teacher. i haven't decided yet. ruby can't drive. she doesn't own a computer. she hates her middle name,which is tiffany. she always, always rootsfor the underdog. she's complicated. that... that's whati like best about her.
ruby's not so goodat life sometimes. she forgets to open billsor cash checks. her last boyfriend was 49. the one before thatwas an alcoholic. she can feel a change coming. she's looking for it. looking for what? something new. (panting)
feels good, right? can we stop a second? why? you all right? hey, sue. yeah? they didn't have paprika,so i got cumin. shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. basically thesame thing, right? miles just went down, and if youwake him, i will beat you.
calvin. harry:sorry. you need to thank mebecause i cleaned your oven. thank you, susie. oh, my woman. okay.mm, you're sweaty. get your mittsoff of me. delicious. (cooing)
susie, did you happen to... dude, you didn't tell meyou were getting laid. what?i'm just saying. he claims to bewriting too much to haul his assto our house, but turns out he's just gettingtoo much poon. susie:harry, i swear to god. i'm not getting any poon. oh, yeah?
calvin:whose is that? you tell me. oh, my god.scotty. it's scotty's? no. scotty... don't... don't letthe baby touch that. susie:miles, don't. suze, he likes it. no, he doesn't like it.
scotty's beendragging them in. no, he seems to love it. i think he goes throughmy weird neighbor's garbage. so, that's a random dirty bra? (miles coughing) harry:it's dirty. that's gross.you made him cough. susie: calvin,don't put it away. throw it away.
i swear, if your mother knew... calvin, what is this? hmm? what's what? nothing. harry, get over here. uh... please don't. are these panties?
fuck off. i swear to god, right. scotty. shut up. calvin, throw these away. (closes drawer) hey, susie, i'm goingto check on harry. tell him we have to go soon. where do you see this going?
i don't know.i just started. this is alove story, right? who reads love stories? women. and i'm telling you, no woman's going towant to read this. why not?it's romantic. quirky, messy womenwhose problems only make themendearing are not real.
period. what do they say, writewhat you've been through? write what you know. exactly. i've known girls like ruby. girls. lila? not fucking lila. right. you've hadone relationship.
for five years. you never evenlived together. i'm telling you, calvin, the honeymoon shit,it doesn't last. i know that. women are differentup close. i love susie, but she's a weirdo. sometimes,
she's mean as fuckfor no reason. she's a person. you haven't writtena person, okay? you've written a girl. all right, whatever. most writersdon't show their work to people at this stage. i might not even finish it. so don't, like,tell people about it.
listen. i'm not saying you can't write. i'm saying... you don't knowjack shit about women. (car alarm chirps) don't let those leftoversgo to waste, okay, skinny? gym tomorrow? uh, i'm seeing cyrus. maybe friday?
friday. (miles fussing) susie:oh... susie:i know. harry:you okay, bud? susie:yes. (car door closes) calvin: oh, this thing is dripping everywhere. how am i supposed to eat this thing?
you're so not my type. what do you mean,i'm not your type? i usually go for guyswho are a little more, um... assertive. i'm assertive. (laughs)no. you're stubborn. that's different. ruby: i had this one boyfriend who told me i wasn't funny,
but that i have a good sense of humor 'cause i laughed at his jokes. why would you datea guy like that? i was young. you must have things you regret. not really. everything's beenperfect so far. oh. so,
that's whatyou're looking for in a guy? douchiness? ruby: i don't know. i guess i was looking for you. just took mea while to find you. jump! ruby: what did you think the first time you saw me? calvin: i thought you were the most beautiful girl i ever saw. were you disappointed when you got to know me?
how can you ask that? i'm such a mess. i love your mess. the first time i saw you, i thought, "look at that boy. i'm going to love him forever and ever and ever." what if you get sick of me? i won't. i promise.
hello. shit. (phone continues ringing) shit! damn it. (line ringing) cyrus:hello? cyrus. where the fuck are you, buddy?
oh, sorry. i was writing, and i fell asleep at my desk.i'll be right there. look, if you aren't readyto talk about this, it's fine. we can do this another time. no, no, no, no. i want to show you what i have. i think you're going to bereally excited. look, of course i'll be excited.that's... okay, uh, here's what i'll do--i'll... i'll push my lunch.
okay. all right.well, well, uh, uh, if i leave now,i should be there in 15 minutes. all right. if there isn't any traffic. oh, damn it. scotty. uh, nothing. uh, my dog has to pee.it's fine. i'll, uh, put himin the backyard. ruby:i'll take him out.
great. cyrus:cal? cal? hello? i missed you in bed last night. did you getsome good writing done? hello? are you there? hey. you want a bite? it's crispix. cyrus:i think i lost him.
god, it's happening. it's really happening this time. they're goingto hospitalize me. what's wrong? they all thoughti was so smart, but... turns out i was just bat-shit. calvin? what the fuck? it's not real.it's not real.
it's not real. it's not real. it's not real. okay, you're dreaming. okay,you're dreaming. you're dreaming. you're dreaming,and you're going to... wake up... right now. ruby:calvin? are you mad at me?
hi, dr. rosenthal. it's calvin weir-fields. something has come up,and i'd appreciate it if you called meas soon as possible. ruby? hey. um... i thought you mightbe hungry, so... i'm making you some eggs.
mmm. oh, nothing. nothing. uh... are these,by any chance, yours? yeah, of course they are. who else wouldthey belong to? oh, my god, are... are you seeing someone else?
oh, no. no, no, no, i'm not... i'm not seeing anyone. other than you. will you excuse me? (whispering):remember how dad used to say i had an overactive imagination? harry:wait, are you saying rubyis in your house? i started seeing herthis morning.
it's like that movie harvey. except she's not a giant rabbit. and it's not like she knowsshe's imaginary, either. she thinks we'rein the relationship in my book! it is freaking me out! calvin, i'm inthe middle of a meeting. okay, but this is an emergency! i may be losing my mind.
just give me one sec. calvin:harry... (clears throat) look, there's no possible waythat ruby's in your house, because...she's not a real person. i know! objectively, she is not real,but i'm telling you, i can see her. i can smell her.
when she touched me, i could feel it. she's making eggs in my kitchen! actual eggs! that's great. (whispering):calvin, i am at work. i'm in the middle ofa very important meeting. i cannot deal withyour shit right now. listen to me.
i want you to leave the house,uh... see a friend. a friend who can't seeyour imaginary friend. if this is still an issuetonight, we'll talk. (louder):okay? i'll phone a friend. sorry about that.i was... kobe's having a barbecuethis weekend. you got plansthis weekend? (whispering):it's calvin!
weir-fields.from high school. yeah... the writer. i, uh, i sat next to youin spanish class. uh, â¿no requerdes? uh, actually... i gotta go. (keys jingle quietly) where are you going? out.
where? to the store? what for? to get some stuff. can i come? because. please? radio announcer:...point-nine kcrw. up next, tickets forkcrw members.
if you haven't won anythingfrom us in the last 90 days... i hear they're doing a zombiefilm festival at the cemetery. you want to go? we could do a shot every timesomeone gets bitten. okay. bye. bye? where are you going? nowhere. cafã© figaro. i've got this friend.it won't take long.
what am i supposed to do? stay here. enjoy the shops. i'll be back soon. when i didn't hearfrom you right away, i figured... you had lostmy number or something. at least that's what my roommatesaid must have happened. oh, no, i didn'tlose your number. uh, actually the, uh...night i met you,
i started writing something. so my life's beenreally consuming. the night you met me? am i...? never mind.never mind. (embarrassed giggle) um, am i in it? i can't really talk about it. right, right, right,of course. but...
if i am... like, when it comes outin stores and stuff, will you tell mewhich character i am? you're not in it. right, but if i am? i will let you know. awesome. (giggles):awesome. so, um... do youdo this a lot?
do what? uh, meet up in the middleof the day for sex. (gulps) no. no, that's not... i-i just wantedsomeone to talk to. right. right. men never just wantto talk to women. i do. if you say so.
uh, are you even legal? i mean, not to drink,but... y-yeah. (chuckles) of course.do you, um... do you wantto go someplace? ruby:hi. sorry, what? do you want togo to my place? sorry.
ruby:i'm sorry. what's going on? ruby:am i interrupting something? oh, nothing. i... thought i heard something. um, do you want toget out of here? ruby:calvin! do... you know this girl? yeah. hi.
i'm ruby, calvin's girlfriend. i don't think we've met. uh... no. um... i'm mabel. i was just going. you can see her? yeah. she can see me.i can see her. you... can see her? okay, let's not makethis worse, all right?
i'm sorry, i didn't know. what is this? did harry put youup to this? what, your brotheris in on this? okay. ruby, it wasvery nice meeting you! and, calvin,have fun writing. who the fuckwas that?! can you see her? calvin! who was that?
can i see her? can he see me? what are you... stop! busboy:what's wrong with you, man? (patrons gasping) she's real. oh, no! ruby! get away from me!
ruby! ruby, what... get away! get away! oh! ruby! ruby... let go! please, listen to me. oh, my god, stop! listen to me.calm down. ruby. you get away from me!
hey, you okay? calm down! ruby! you want me tocall the police? ruby:no. thank you. he's just beinga complete asshole. thank you, i'm fine. you stay away. oh, god,i should have known. you've been acting likesuch a freak... stop!
let go of me! shh! put me down! put me down or i'm gonna scream! stop it! ow! (crying) ow, do not bite!do not bite! listen to me. shh!
there is a lot thatis new here, more than i can tell you, and i'm havingtrouble processing it all, okay? then talk to me about it. don't go on a datewith another girl. i wasn't on a date. what is goingon with you? i don't know.i'm sorry. oh, i am just... having troublewrapping my head around
the reality of this situation. that you're here. that you're real. it all seemspretty incredible. kiss me, stupid. holy shit. (zombie growling,woman screaming) (roaring, screaming) ♪ yam! bam! mon chat splash ♪
♪ git sur mon lit a bouffe ♪ ♪ sa langue en buvanttout mon whisky ♪ ♪ quant a moi peu dormi,vide, brime ♪ ♪ j'ai du dormirdans la gouttiere ♪ ♪ ou j'ai eu un flash ♪ ♪ ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! ♪ ♪ en quatre couleurs ♪ ♪ allez hop! un matin ♪ ♪ une louloute estvenue chez-moi ♪
♪ poupee de cellophane,cheveux chinois ♪ ♪ un sparadrapune gueule de bois ♪ ♪ a bu ma biere dansun grand verre en caoutchouc ♪ ♪ comme un indiendans son igloo ♪ ♪ ca plane pour moi ♪ ♪ ca plane pour moimoi moi moi moi ♪ ♪ allez hop!la nana quel panard! ♪ ♪ ca plane pour moimoi moi moi moi... ♪ (music fades)
mmm! look... i know it's a lot to take in,but you have to believe me. i don't know how,or why... but she's here,and she's real. and i like it. real as in otherpeople can see her. that's what i'mtrying to tell you. we've been to restaurants.
we take scottyfor walks in the park. people talk to her. she's very friendly. that's... impossible. it's apparently not. what does dr. rosenthal say? are you fucking serious? this is whypeople have shrinks. for when they startseeing things.
i'm not seeing things. calvin. call him. i can't. i told him about ruby whenshe was just a character. he won't understand. call him,or i'm telling mom. he'll think i'm crazy! you might be crazy. the situation is crazy.
i am not. (whispering):do you hear... hi. do you hear yourself?do you? do you hear yourself? really? there's no way that you're sleeping witha girl that you made up. hey, so, um... she doesn'tknow that i wrote her, so don't say anythingabout the manuscript, okay? yeah, okay.
hi, ruby.great to meet you. can we call the doctor now? harry... (grunting) what took you so long? oh, hey, ruby, this is,uh, my brother, harry. hey, harry! hi. hi. it's great to meet you.
i've heard so muchabout you from calvin. you're... ruby. you're harry. the painter fromdayton, ohio. yep. are you staying for supper? i'm making meatloaf. (whispering):she's an amazing cook. can i talk toyou a second?
outside? what'd you do?hire some actress? craigslist?this isn't funny. harry, i told you,she just appeared. you're a writer.you're not ricky fucking jay! i know that, harry. okay, there's gotta be somelogical explanation. love isn't logical. no, but you know what is?
physics!or metaphysics. whatever. people don't appearout of thin air. she did! how? i don't know how! it's love! it's magic! what are you doing? calling your doctor. harry, don't. harry!
no. harry. harry. give me that. we might...give me the phone. harry! don't! listen to me! please! do you remember what youtold me when you met susie? i certainly didn't pretendi invented her, calvin. you said that she wasyour dream girl. that's what happened to me.
(scoffs) harry, don't laugh at me. has it occurred to youthat she might be an imposter? that some girl-- maybe whowanted to get close to you-- somehow got her hands on whatyou wrote, and then decided... okay, you're the only onewho's read my manuscript, so unless you're playing someterrible joke...okay. okay. okay. let's sayyou created this person. everything you wroteabout her came true,
even the smallest things? have you triedwriting more? write somethingabout her. why? she's perfect. write something about herand see if it comes true. if it does, then you're right,and this is a fucking miracle! and if nothing happens... ...maybe we go to the police. don't call.
just go in thereand act normal. go up. you act normal. i'm not gonna say anything. act normal! (over stereo): ♪ vous ãªtescomme moi le premier surpris ♪ ♪ une fraction de seconde... ♪ we're gonna go upstairsand check on something, uh, online.
♪ un jour le bonheurest ã vos pieds ♪ ♪ un geste suffiraitpour le ramasser ♪ were you guys getting stonedout there? okay, here's where i left off. (whispering): it has to besomething we notice right away, okay? something obvious. (sighs heavily) what she's wearing? yes! yes.
what she's wearing. what was she wearing? was it pink? i got it. okay.okay. (whispering inaudibly) yeah, just put it down. i'll do it. i-- shh!
(typing) (bell dings) ruby (shouting withfrench accent): calvin! harry! bon appã©tit! c'est tres chau me. je pense que l'on devrait manger. cal, est-ce que tu peux aller chercher le vin? harry, reste, s'il-te plaã®t. il ya assez pour tout le monde.
(laughs) b'uh? pour-quoi vous me regardez comme ã§a? (giggling): quoi? qu'est-ce qu'il y a? (snickers) ce pas marrant. i'll be right back. no, wait, wait.
i have to do something. shh. don't! faire quoi? calvin, faire quoi? je ne vois vraiment pas ce qu'il y a de si amusant. bottle of vino. (quietly): your brother lookslike he could use a drink. harry: i have to say that's
the best meatloaf i've ever had. it's a family recipe. i can't reallytake credit. so, your, your...family's in ohio? yeah. actually, my parents diedwhen i was a baby, in an accident, and... i got movedaround a lot. i guess the habit stuck. i've lived in... nine citiesin six years.
nine? so... yeah. wow. that's a lot of cities. i'm so sorry. i'm totallymonopolizing this conversation. (chuckles): no,this is fascinating. please keep going. please. what nice boys.
your mom must be so proud. it's hard to raise a decent guy. oh, i think a person would have to do somethingpretty amazing to produce a good woman. okay! great. uh, you guys like each other. i think harry has to go now. right, buddy?
he can be sucha control freak, right? calvin:i'll be right back. ruby:good night! see you soon, i hope. (whispering):hey, so? (whispering):get in the car. get in the car. that was insane! this is insane!
you manifested a womanwith your mind! i mean, mom'sgonna fucking freak. whoa, you can't tell mom. she loves all this new age shit. harry, seriously... you can't tell anybody.not mom, not susie. no one. but this is amazing. how can i not tell anybody?
harry, they'll thinkshe's a freak. so what? we're just gonnapretend she's your girlfriend? she is my girlfriend. your girlfriend. stranger things have happened. i think this is prettymuch the strangest thing that's ever happened, ever. what are you gonnado, marry her? have kids with her?
but wouldn't that be likeincest or mind-cest? i don't care. i love her. please don't ruin this for me. promise me, no one. fine. oh, hey, um, so youcan, like, change her. i g-- i guess. you could, like...tweak things.
whoa... if you wanted. tweak? what do, what do,what do you mean? i don't know, like, eh,i don't know, anything. big tits, long legs or... i like her little legs. ah, you know how manytimes i wanted a button to make susie stop doing allthe annoying shit she does? i mean, you could get blowjobs whenever you wanted.
ruby loves giving blow jobs. yeah, now. but what aboutin a couple months, or days? women are mysterious creatures. i mean, i still look at susielike, "who are you? who..." (chuckles)i know ruby, harry. i wrote her! so you can make her,like, do anything. for men everywhere... tell me you're not gonnalet that go to waste.
i will never writeabout her again. so... did he like me? he loved you. stop, stop, stop! (cell phone ringing) hey, if it's my mom,please don't... (snickering) woman:hello? hello, is anyone there? i...
hi, mom. oh, hi, sweetie. hi. i wasn't sure you were there. what do you want, mom? well, i was just wondering if you're gonna make it upthis weekend. told you we can'tthis weekend. we're busy. oh, with what?
your brother saysyou haven't been writing. uh, he doesn't know! you've been with this girlfor months, and i haven't even met her. i'm beginning to thinkshe doesn't exist. what? no. i mean, yes. so, when can i meet her? soon.
next weekend? harry and susie will be here. (mouthing) look, we have plans. i'm gonna callyou later, okay? i'm driving. why can't we go to big sur? uh... well, we'd have to findsomeone to watch scotty. we can takehim with us.
i don't know. mort... their house is weird. you don't want meto meet your mom. of course i want youto meet my mom. i'll invite her downfor christmas, okay? hey, you know thatcoffee shop on dwyer? the new one? i was thinking maybe i couldtry to get a job there. well, i told you, i'm happyto support you while you paint.
honey, i'm sort of tired. let's turn out the light, then. it's just, maybeif i wasn't around, you could get morewriting done. weren't you working onsomething when we first met? just packing for big sur. (giggles excitedly) ♪ malgrã© les jours de pluiemalgrã© les nuages ♪ ♪ qui s'amusent ã me cacherles rayons du soleil ♪
♪ je vois toujoursun coin de ciel bleu, ♪ ♪ aussi bleu que tes yeux ♪ ♪ quand tu eslã lã lã lã lã lã lã ♪ ♪ malgrã© le vent trop fortqui bat nos visages ♪ ♪ et ce vent qui va encorepleurer cette nuit ♪ ♪ je vois toujoursun coin de ciel bleu ♪ ♪ quand tu es lã lã lã ♪ ♪ quand tu eslã lã lã lã lã lã lã . ♪ wow, look at this place!
all... right...this is it. you asked for it. you have nothingto worry about. look, why don't we staysomewhere else tonight? just you and me. there's a thousand bed-and-breakfasts around. honey, it's gonna be great. it could be romantic. finally!
(tapping window) (chuckles):hi. you're here! hi! hi, scotty! hi! go on, boy. honey. come on, scotty. oh, well, hello.
i'm ruby. hi, ruby. ruby:wow! your garden is so amazing. all the plants havemedicinal purposes. ah, medicinal! that is very cool. whoa! this is incredible.
yeah. he started it in 1980,and he just keeps adding to it. it's his masterpiece. mort built all of this? yeah. can you believe it? (singsong):yes, i can. and this is where we live. ruby:oh, my god! this is so beautiful! wow!
i feel like i'm insome kind of temple. oh, my god, i can't believeyou said that! calvin, she is so intuitive. what?what, what? mort got this woodfrom amish land. it was blessed. and the bricks comefrom an old catholic school that was torn down. that's incredible!
mm-hmm. stairway, bedroom. that's where harrywill sleep. this is my study. don't go in there. i'm re-alphabetizing. and this is whereyou'll be sleeping. oh! it's like a little nest!
uh... mom, we're in here?there are no doors. no one's interestedin your business, honey. well, this is the bathroom. we have our own well. (chain saw buzzing loudly) this is mort's workshop. he makesdriftwood furniture. mort! mort, honey,they're here!
hey! welcome! that's a good boy, good boy. gertrude:he is such a good boy. so, ruby...did you go to art school? no, i didn'ttrain formally. i just sort of pickedthings up here and there. that's right. just do it.
you learn more that way. eh? i mean, look-look at calvin. eh? right, hijo mio? uh, m-mort, could you--do not feed scotty. ah, don't worry. it'll upset his stomach. oh, no, he loves it. you know, dogs love human food.they do. they do.
i painted when i was young. did you? calvin never told me. well, their fatherdidn't approve. because shepainted porn. (chuckles):nudes. in positions. it was basically porn. i think they are very sexy.
very. mort's been encouraging meto take it up again. you should do it, mama. you're very good at it. lovey. you're good at everything. gertrude:mmm, lovey. mort:everything is so good, mama. gertrude:mm, sweetie.
mort: so good. susie: okay, let's go,let's go, let's go. okay, one minute left. one minute. women:first word! a little word. baby word. uh, i-it. and?
it's... the, the, the. well, uh... what! what. ruby: what. what! susie: what? what? ah! susie:what, what, what.
what, what. thank you, mort. mort. hey, you're on our team. you can't guess. you're on our team. ruby: us, we... susie: uh, redwoods. harry:they're not gonna get it.
you and me. not them, us. you, us. susie: us, girls, um...their titties and butt... (giggles, groans) big babies! harry:oh, boy! girls? girls? women! susie: women? what women.
(laughing) susie: what women,what women, what women. what women want? (screaming, cheering) mort:oh. they won. who picks that? honey, come over here. you're so good. i love you.
was that mort?he picked it? oh, my god, you win the prize. susie:harry picked this. harry: want to get them? yeah? susie: yeah. (excited chattering) i'm a traitor.i'm a traitor. but that was against the rules! viva la resistance!
(water dripping) (whispers):calvin? i forgot to tell you. your mom saidthat she was gonna teach me how to bake a pie. she says we can justgo out in the garden and pick the berriesourselves. isn't that amazing? she didn't used to be like this.
like what? when dad was around, she wore polo shirtsand cooked meat. it's likeshe's been brainwashed. i think she and mortseem really happy. (screams) mort:calvin! susie: watch out! come on!
harry:hey, honey? come down here! ruby:calvin! calvin! harry:let's go. mort: come on! harry: the water's great,man, come on! ruby:it's beautiful! no, thanks. oh, it's so fun.
you're missing out. i promised langdoni'd finish his book. why don't you comeup here with me? mort: whoo, okay.enjoy yourself! susie:mort, be careful. asteroid! (shrieks) (laughter) yeah!
ruby:yeah. harry:that was beautiful. now do it with me.do it with me. calvin, honey? are you okay? yeah. fine. i'm really glad you brought her. means a lot to me. dinner's in a half hour.
mort:hey, harry, harry, harry. you want to see myimpression of scotty? (quietly):oh, get ready. susie:that makes me laugh. now you want to seemy impression of scotty when he's really angry? harry:yeah. susie:that's so wrong. he's an intellectual.
susie:oh, that is good. uh, don't make fun of scotty. oh, calm down. hey, hey, come on,take it, take it. oh, my god. you look so cute here. uh, i told you i don't want it. mort: oh.
ruby: you should try it. it's really mellow. mort:it's all right. he-he doesn't need it. his brain is big enough. yeah, no. eh? it's big. it's so big. he can... just withhis thoughts, he can just...
he thinks it and...(explosion noise) harry? just... mort: yeah, yeah, yeah. harry:yeah, just, just... susie (chuckling):honey, not here. one... one thought... i mean,he just can just poof. and he just... poof.
harry, i thinkyou've had enough. gertrude:oh. what are you talking about? i'm talking about... i love you. susie:yay. harry: what? someone is ready... i really love you.
...for bed. yeah, i'm definitelyready for bed. honey, let's go. we're up.this was a great dinner. here, let me, let me,let me help you. okay, let me... okay, you know what, mort, i think you'vedone plenty. mort:yeah, good night
harry: great, great, great. you okay? go, go, go. yeah, you okay? calvin: i'm fine. harry:big sur, everybody. susie:come on, crazy. harry:i love this place. love you.
i think i'm gonnago inside and, uh... talk to him. i'm sorry. no, it's okay. as long as i knowhe isn't like this all the time. he isn't. oh, good. look. is that you?
(chuckles)yes. god. and that was jack. he's so handsome. yes, and very, very serious,just like calvin. he was a golfer? calvin: ruby? mort: what... hey. ruby, bed?
ruby:right now? yes? why won't you take it? i-i want youto-to have it. w-what's going on? calvin won't acceptmy present. mort works hardon his furniture. mort:yeah. yeah, i-i call itthe "lone pine."
oh, that's beautiful. don't you like it? gertrude: of course he does. it's a great chair. come on, sitdown, sit down. just feel the wood. ♪ la, la ♪ ♪ la-la-la-la-la-la, oh, yeah ♪ ♪ whoo ♪
♪ oh, yeah ♪ (french punk rock music playing) (sizzling) ruby:♪ skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪ ♪ dinky do ♪ ♪ i love you ♪ ♪ skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪ ♪ i love you in the morning ♪ ♪ and in the afternoon... ♪
honey, i'm trying to read. you read your stupidbook all weekend. your mom and mort were trying so hard. you don't have any friends. i have you. i don't need anyone else. that's a lot of pressure. i'm so lonely.
don't say that.please. what do we do? (sniffles, sighs) how do we make it better? maybe i could takean art class. an art class,get out of the house. good. and i think i should startspending some nights at my apartment again.
your apartment? one night a week. as an experiment. (chuckles):okay. ruby:hi, scotty. come here. (barking) (brakes squeaking) the teacher's just amazing.
it's kind ofan older group, but... the talent level's really high. i think i'm gonna learn a lot. how was your night? terrible. i don't think this experimentis gonna work for me. there has to be spacein the relationship. otherwise, it's likewe're the same person. listen,it's one night a week.
i think you can handle it. i've got to take a shower. come on, baby. ("la donna 㨠mobile" playing) ruby: hi. hi. where are you? um, a bunch of people from class decided to go out,so we're at this bar. when you coming home?
we just got here. uh, i cooked. sorry, no. you know, i thinkthat we're just gonna eat here. i mean,we already ordered, so... so, when are you coming home? your place is kind of far,and we're drinking, so... you know... i might be kind of late. why don't we just seeeach other tomorrow?
um, have a great time. (keys clicking) ruby:calvin, i want to come home. i have to pee. stay. i miss you right now. (sobbing):oh, calvin! humphrey bogart:i'd rather not talk about it. audrey hepburn:i'm sorry.
i always thoughtyou walked alone. no man walks alone from choice. to get the phone. can i come with you? uh, two for the 7:45. it's sold out. there's a 9:00. take a walk first? two for the 9:00.
cyrus: well, look whoanswered their phone. cyrus, hey. sorry, i've been busy. no worries, man.busy writing? uh, yeah. yeah? oh, good, that's great,'cause, you know, i keep telling themthat you're working on it, but the publishers are gettingkind of anxious about the new book and...
right, the new book. you know, you-you seemedpretty excited about it... i'm-i'm-i'm out right now.i'm... have you made any progresssince then? can i give them some kindof timeline? cyrus, i'm gonna call you back. (horns honking) hey, hey, hey,what happened? i turned aroundand you were gone.
(sobbing):you let go of my hand. i... what? you let go of my hand. i-i had to pickup the phone. i know, but you let go. you didn't evennotice i was gone. sweetie, you have to calm down. (sobbing) i'm gonna get yousome water, okay?
(moans) (thumping, panting) hi, dummy. (ticks) (giggling) ah! he's chasing me. (laughs):oh, no. miles! yay, miles!
he's a water baby! can i ask you something? i'm coming to get you. yes. shoot. oh, thank you for the kiss. what if i told youi was writing again? oh, no, he kicked me! hey, that's fantastic. what's it about?
writing again. all right,meow, meow, meow, meow! oh, hi. how's it going? her tits? she wasn't happy... susie: whee, whee. so i made her happy, ruby: i'm a queen!
and now she's likethis all the time. (sighs)what are you asking me? if it's moral? i don't know. it's obviously working. ah-naa-naa-naa-naa-naa! think of it like prozac. but how do i know it's real? it's not, okay?she's not. she i... she was.
ruby:oh, no! i want to be what'smaking her happy... i love you, baby.oh, no. look. without making her happy. so write,"ruby went back to normal." no big deal. look. i'm a puppy dogswimming in the water. i think she was gonnaleave me before. help.
(giggles) are you ready, miles? susie left once. are you ready to play? when? oh, i just love you! why didn't you tell me? you had a lot going on,and she came back. but i still think about it.
you want a boo? i could lose her any moment. (tapping) step on a crack,break your mother's back. i'm thinking about going awayfor a few months. by myself. where do you want to go? um, somewhere far. you could sendme postcards.
i love getting mail. or i might hole up herein the house, not even go outside. cool. we could build a pillow fort. woman: this is your proving ground. (over tv): i'm going to startwith you, michelle. you have a superior walk. i can see you doing runway.
but there's somethinggoing on with your eyes. what are you doing?we have langdon's party. langdon tharp, the writer. his book party's tonight. hey. i was watching that. yeah, for days. it's a marathon. you were always asking me to make plans for us.i did.
don't quote me to myself. i am allowed to change my mind. i don't wantto fight about this. fine. great. let's ignore it, then. now, look at sheila.sheila has such a unique look. and i think that's wonderful.we've all noticed it. (cameras snappingover television) love your energy.
sally madea really interesting choice using that big tease,but i think it was too much. she's not afraid to be bold. (turns off tv) everything's been so upand down lately, you know? it's like my internalcompass is just gone. (sighs)maybe i should talk to someone. you used to...see someone, didn't you? uh, dr. rosenthal.
maybe you should go back. thought we weretalking about you. yeah. yeah, we are. maybe you're right. maybe i just needto get out. see people, be social. this party's going to be fun. (upbeat electronic musicplaying, loud chatter)
langdon! hey, langdon, hey! welcome to my cult. cal, you have to talkto adam and mandi. adam and mandi. the producers who wantto take over your option. please, check your messages. cyrus, this is ruby. cyrus. nice.
uh, this is saskia. okay. cal. uh, stay there. so, would you want to writethe screenplay yourself? cyrus:oh, of course. yes. absolutely. who else would? well, i-i-i don't know.i-i've never written one. i'm a novelist. oh, my god.you're such a genius.
you'd pick it uplike that. yeah, i've been telling him thatall the time. well, he doesn't like that word. hey, who would you wantto play charlie? adam: i mean, that'sthe question, right? mandi: yeah. adam: yeah. you should come and talkto me about it sometime.
now, adam and mandicome in with a wealth of experiencefrom documentary films. adam:mm-hmm. yeah, and so, everything they touchis authentic and they make it real. yeah, grounded in reality and, you know... we treat narrativethe exact same way, so...
you saw... you saw thebaby documentary they did. yes. genius. mandi: thank you. cyrus: made me wantto have a kid. you have no ideahow many people have told us theexact same thing. it's true. um, cyrus, can you hold thisjust for a second? absolutely.
no, sorry, i'll be right back. yeah, absolutely. okay. yeah. great to talk to you. talk to you in a little bit. okay. yeah. great. i'll see you later. cal. lila.
i thought you were in new york. uh, no, langdon's helping mepublish my novel. you finished your novel. i know, it's a big surprise. the, uh... the dilettantefinished something, right? uh, i-i never said that. what about you?are you writing? sure. (door opens)
i hear you'reseeing someone? yeah. uh, she's here. woman:excuse me. is she a writer? um, a painter. that's very, um,unthreatening. you think i wasthreatened by you? no, cal.why would you be? langdon:you like my pool?
do i know you? what are you doing at my party? come with someone? calvin weir-fields. ah, the boy wonder. so, are you oneof those girls who only datesfamous writers? why?are you a famous writer? do you happen to have a name?
and what doyou do, ruby? how refreshing. what do you doin your spare time? not much. you know, i was thinking...i was just thinking tonight would be perfectfor a swim. i don't have a suit. is that a problem? you know what?never mind.
i don't know why i thoughtmaybe you'd be happy for me. how was i anythingbut supportive? i read every draft you gave me. i took youinto my writers' group. i introduced you to langdon. yeah, begrudgingly. what? i literallycan't hear you. begrudgingly. you weren't curious about me.
you never were. you just had thisimage of who i was, and anything that i did that contradicted it,you just ignored. what image?the one where you left me as soon as i wasn't successful? you think i gave a shitif you were famous? all that i wantedwas for you-- i don't know--to care about me.
care about you? you left weeksafter my father died. do you really wantto talk about caring? god. this is not happening. do you knowwhat people say when i tell themhow you left me? cal, you were impenetrable. cal, i tried... they say, "how could youlove a person like that?"
no, i tried to help you.you refused... and i say,"i have no fucking clue!" the only personthat you wanted to be in a relationshipwith was you. so i let you do that. you really let yourselfoff the hook, don't you? good-bye, cal. good-bye. have a great life.
come on. come...it's just nice and warm. just swim to me. you can keep your underwear onif you like. come on in. (chuckles)no peeking. i'm-i'm... all right,i promise, i won't peek. oh, boy. langdon:writing is sensual. it's, uh... (ruby laughs)
langdon: you shouldsee me when i write. i'm... i'm likean olympian. ruby:oh, really? i wield my penlike a lightsaber. your pen? what's going on here? we, uh... we thoughtwe'd take a dip. care to join us? (tires squealing)
what was that? what was what? you know what. grow up. hey... you're hurting me. explain whatyou were doing. you left me alone at a partywhere i didn't know anyone. i found someone to talk to.
in your underwear. would you have been madif i had been in my bikini? you weren't wearing your bikini. do you know what it looked like? my agent was there.my ex was there. lila was there? because i was too busygetting you to put your clothes back on. you're supposed to bemy girlfriend.
i am your girlfriend. so act like it. i'm sorry i wasn't acting like the platonic idealof your girlfriend. jesus, you can besuch a fucking prude. what, becausei don't want you skinny-dippingwith other men? because you don't want medoing anything! you have all these rules,and you... you don't tell me
what they are until--whoops-- i've broken one. and then you get to bedisappointed with me? okay. uh, do you wantto know my rules? don't fuck other men. don't let them thinkabout fucking you. so, now i'm responsible for what other peopleare thinking? yes, you are responsible. when you act a certain way,it leads people on.
when you takeyour clothes off at a party, it makes people thinkyou're a slut, so i'd really preferif you didn't do that. is that clear enoughfor you? fuck you! i'm not your child! you don't getto decide what i do. want to bet? i'm pretty sure i can make youdo whatever i want.
what are you going to do,calvin, tie me up? i don't have to. i'm going to call a cab. let's talk tomorrow, okay? (typewriter dings) go. fuck! you didn't feel that? aah!
(crying):what is that? what the fuck is going on? oh, my god,something's happening. here. read. my book. the one i haven'tbeen working on. want to see? is this some sort of joke? it's pretty serious.
you're writing about me? no. you can't write about me. that's private. i'm not writing about you. i wrote you. i made you up. i had a dreamabout a girl. i wrote it down. i gave her a name.
i wrote all kindsof things about her, and then, one day,i woke up and she... you were living in my house. i can make you do anything. because you're not real. you're sick. if this is how you thinkabout people, then you are infor a long, lonely, fucked-up life.
do you hear me? (speaking french) see-- "ruby speaks french." i told you i couldmake you do anything. i write it... ...you do it. (snapping fingers) calvin! arrãªte! ♪ skinnamarinkydinky dink ♪
♪ i love youin the morning... ♪ (growling) i'll never leave you. i love you.i'll never leave you! i'll never leave you! i love your mouth.i love your nose. i love your butt. i love your eyes. i love your belly.i love your ears.
i love your cock.i love your nose. i love your mouth. i love you so much. i'll love you forever and ever and ever and ever. you're a genius!you're a genius! you're a genius! (banging) (chair slides across floor)
(footsteps) (door slams) (stairs creaking) no. no. harry:calvin? she's gone. it's okay, buddy. (birds chirping) calvin: nothing helps.
when was the last timeyou wrote, cal? sure you can. that's what you haveover every other poor schmuck out therewith a broken heart. you can write about it. and who would wantto read that? lots of people. you got a prettygreat story. everyone will thinki'm crazy.
they'll thinkit's fiction. calvin: this is the true and impossible story of my very great love. in the hope that she will not read this and reproach me, i have withheld many telling details. her name, the particulars of her birth and upbringing, and any identifying scars or birthmarks. all the same, i cannot help but write this for her.
to tell her, "i'm sorry for every word i wrote to change you. "i'm sorry for so many things. "i couldn't see you when you were here. and now that you're gone, i see you everywhere." one may read thisand think it's magic, but falling in loveis an act of magic. so is writing. it was once saidof catcher in the rye,
"that rare miracle of fictionhas again come to pass. "a human beinghas been created out of ink, paper and the imagination." i am no j.d. salinger, but i have witnesseda rare miracle. any writer can attest, in the luckiest, happiest state, the words are not comingfrom you, but through you. she came to me wholly herself.
i was just lucky enoughto be there to catch her. doesn't his imaginationjust, uh, blow you away? i mean, where does hecome up with these ideas? right? huh? huh? he's a genius. huh? how are you? what's up? it's beautiful, calvin.
most of my patients don't takemy assignments this seriously. i know you hoped that, by writing this, i would realizethat it never happened-- that i imagined her-- but the thing is... i don't needto make sense of this. i don't care if there'sno good explanation. i need youto believe me anyway. just take the leap.
at least imaginehow it could be true. for me. i'll work on that. scotty! (barks) sorry, he's mine. it's fine.he's so friendly. what's his name? that's funny, that's, um...
that's the name ofthe dog in this book. have you read it? did you like it? oh, sorry. uh, did you say something? yeah, i just askedif you liked it. uh, what do you think? my friend who lent itto me thought it was kind of pretentious, but...
i really like it so far. i... i-i don't know. you seem really familiar. maybe we knew each otherin another life. or maybe we just go tothe same coffee shop. what do you do, besides go for walkswith your dog? i'm a writer. what do you write?
(gasps) so that's whyyou look so familiar. maybe. i was just kidding about my friendcalling it pretentious. that's okay. can we start over? may i sit down? oh! please.
just don't tell mehow it ends, okay? promise. (elegant string music playing)
