watch now! detail...
[???] woman:daily sentinel. one minute, please. man [over phone]: the mayordoesn't want the article to goto print until after the next quarter. tell the mayori'm insulted. i would never jeopardize thejournalistic integrity ofthis newspaper for some rent-a-mayor'spolitical agenda. very well, mr...
[line disconnects] so, britt. here we are again. sent home after anotherschoolyard fight. i know you missyour mother. so do i. but i have to take careof 750 employees and you have totake care of yourself. still, that seems to beasking too much.
i was trying to stop some bulliesand the guy hit me. trying doesn't matterwhen you always fail. no! no! do you think it makesme happy to do this? yes!no, it doesn't. but not a week goes by withoutyou finding yourselfin trouble. if you're doing thisfor attention, you have all that i canafford to give you.
and you're wasting my time. frank! no, no. not you. man:have a seat. either one. they'reboth very comfortable. so, what can i do for you? chudnofsky:as you know, i've worked my entire life, very hard,to achieve one goal.
uh-huh. and that goal, which i have,in fact, achieved, was to be in charge of all thecrime in the city oflos angeles. therefore, the fact that you assumethat you can open this establishmentwithout my permission, without payment, and sellnarcotics out of it, iscompletely unacceptable. really?
and, to be honest, quite insulting. therefore, you mustsign over ownership of this establishment to me, at which time,you become my employees. we're your employees? yeah. or close down permanently. choice is yours.
okay. how do ipronounce your name? tchaikovsky? chudnofsky. char... chudofsk... chowdofsky? chud-nof-sky. chudnofsky? all right.chudnofsky, kiss my ass. put your lipsto my ass
and kiss it.french kiss it. tickle it with yourgray whiskers. i got bittersweetnews for you. you're washed-up. you're old. you're boring.you're not scary. you dress like shit. it's over for you, okay?that's the bitter news. now the sweet news is: you can retire.
you can go play golf, eat your dinners at 3:00in the afternoon, play with your grandkids,drink metamucil,old people shit. okay? look at me. i got a name people can say. my name's danny clear. i deal crystal meth. people call me crystal clear.it's easy. check out my kick-asshangout here.
i got shitloads of glasseverywhere. i got a see-through piano. look at my boys. they're pimped out. we got gucci, armani, another gucci,tailor-made. this is what you needto get to the top today. not hard work.
not dressing likedisco santa claus. you need charisma. you look likemy uncle greg. a very nice guy, but,you know, he's a dentist. now consider thisyour retirement letter. boom. it's over. see your way out. what, you trulydon't think i'm scary? [chuckles]
clear:no. okay, okay, you're scary. shit, you're scary. you just saidi'm not. no, no, you are. you are. what's a "disco santa"? "a disco sa..."?i don't know. sorry. it was just something stupid.
you said i'm boring. my gun has two barrels.that's not boring. and it was verydifficult to make. answer me! what? what could i doto be more scary? a better name? cooler name? more color or something.
uh... um... maybe you could saysomething to people before you kill them.but not now. it's hard to think with thisdouble-barrel in my face. you've given mea lot to think about. you're not gonna kill me?oh, i get it. you keep me aliveso i can spread your legend. okay, i'll do that, man.i'll spread your legend. hey, you forgot your.briefcase.
[detonator beeps] [the rolling stones'"live with me" playing] man:let's get this party crazy! [people cheering] [yells] [crowd chanting] [yelling] britt:behold, my lady. [sniffs]
mmm. that's the good stuff. oh, man. good morning, uh... ana lee. ana lee.that's what i meant. [door closes] oh, shit. son. this what you wantfrom your life?
this, uh... this gives youa sense of fulfillment? dad, i told you,tomorrow i'm enrolling in itt technical institute and i'm gonna fix computersfor a living, so... ow! i spend all night writingan editorial about the nausea this townhas come to inspire.
about the corruption,the violence and the decadence that we've come to expectas part of our daily life. then i have toturn the page and see my ownson's contribution to this mayhem. ana lee:sweet! i'm in the paper? james:now, you may think you're humiliating me, but you're humiliatingyourself.
sorry. if you don't like it,just ask them not to print it. it's your newspaper. i can't, because,unfortunately, it's news. that's a good point. i kept myself out ofthe papers for years. now do me a favorand do the same. and i told you, stop taking girlsinto my garage. you do it again,i'll change the lock.
ana lee: okay, but canyou sign this for me? britt:yeah. "never stop the partay." [insects buzzing] [digital underground's "thehumpty dance" playing oncar stereo] look at these. my shoe. hello? hello?hello? i'm very uncomfortable.
girl:who is it? britt:whoa! paparazzi in the house. change the channel. i think we may have ourfirst visual on britt reid. go, go, go! go! get in there!it's for me. hello? get in there! get in there!get the shot! get it! and how are you copingwith your father's death? reporter 1:give us some insight!
man [on tv]:if you're just joining us, james reid has beenfound dead from an allergic reactionto a bee sting, leaving his sonhis media empire. reporter 2: how are you copingwith your father's death? [crowd clamoring] [johnny cash's"i hung my head" playing] man 1: it was during myelection campaign for district attorneythat i first met james reid.
and it was immediately clearto me that he was a man of infallible integrity. he dedicated himself to thiscity through his philanthropicendeavors and his newspaper,the daily sentinel, a shining beacon of truth. he was our north star. he showed us the way. thank you, james. [crowd applauding]
man 2:britt, your father was truly a great man.when i started campaigning, he gave me some... the best businessmani've ever known. he always came out on top.yeah, yeah, yeah. scanlon:britt? britt. hey. i'm so sorry for yourloss. i just wanted to saythat my father
was a federal court judge,so i think i knowhow it feels. when he passed away, i hadsome pretty big shoes to fill. just like you. so if you ever needsomebody to talk to... i mean, if you ever just wantto grab a drink, you want toget cheered up, i'm around. okay, thanks, man.i really appreciate... lock it up.yeah. okay. keep it tight.cool.
this is your newspaper, but the burden doesn'thave to fall on you alone. i've been your father's most trusted colleaguefor the past 45 years. i'm gonna make surethe daily sentinel stays on a path thatwould make him proud. so, what do you thinkof all this? i don't thinkanything, man. i don't know a thingabout this newspaper.
i've never even reada full edition of it. you can do whateverthe hell you want with it. i'm not the guy torun the sentinel. hm. james: trying doesn't matterwhen you always fail. huh. where's my leaf? [gags] stupid bush.
[muttering] hello! who makes my coffee?! will someone explain to mewhy, on the worstday of my life, my coffee tastes like shit?! your coffee is normallymade by kato. who the hell is that? he works on your father's carsand makes his coffee. you fired him and everyone whoworks for yourfather yesterday.
i want kato here now! you're kato? i thought your name was henry.i thought the poolguy was kato. i'm kato. i'm sorry to hear aboutyour father. he was a complex man. i have two questions for you,kato. then you can go home. why is it that my dad'smechanic makes the coffee? and why is it that withoutyou, the coffee tastes
like crap? i think it's easierif i show you. holy cow. where did youget that thing? i made it. watch this. you made that? sit with me, kato.tell me your tale. i was born in shanghai.you know shanghai?
love japan. my parents died when i was 4, and until i was 12i lived in an orphanage. i'm sorry. my mom diedwhen i was young too. what happenedafter that? then me and a fewfriends ran away. lived on the street.how'd you start working for my dad?i work in a garage. and one day your fathercame in with a '65 chrysler.
i know the car well. he was so happy with my workthat he offered me a job. i said yes. the coffee.how'd that come about? he used to always say: [imitates james] "no one couldever make me a good cupof coffee." good impression. [in normal voice] so i builthim the coffee machine. well, you make onedamn fine cup of coffee, sir.
wanna see something cool? not bad, man. you did that?yep. industrial polycarbonate. what the hell is industrialpolycarbonate? kato:it's the stuff they use to makeshark tanks. britt:whoa, whoa, whoa. what are you doing?put that away. are you crazy?
come on. don't be a pussy. okay. what are yougonna do? whoa. dude. that was awesome.what is that stuff?how does that work? whoa, what are yougonna do now? and...
whoa! that is someben-hur shit, dude. your dad made me do thiskind of stuff over thelast few years. [whistles] britt:that is the balls. old man was gettingparanoid, huh? kato:you like that? yeah.check this out. wow.
you drew all these? this is awesome. kato, you are a really good drawer. this is reallyimpressive. thanks. that's the stuffi would really like to do. britt:holy! kato, are youa pervert? i wish i could drawstuff that sexy.
beer? yeah, i'd lovea beer. sure. thank you. hey, kato? what did you thinkof my father? he was fine. come on. just tell me. he was my boss.nobody loves their boss. don't sugarcoat this.you're not going to offend me.
just tell me, man to man. he was a bit of a dick. yep. britt:what? you are... look at that. i am genius. you are a genius.yeah. you're a mad genius.
i like classical music. britt: you're a genius wholikes classical music. youknow what you are? a human swiss army knife. what's that mean? it's a little thing, you keeppulling out things. when you thinkthere couldn't be any more, a new cool thing comes out.that's you. you even dress like one. just need a little pluson your chest.
let's drink more.yeah, let's drink. [both speak in mandarin] kato:yeah. [kato speaks in mandarin] britt:you're speaking chinese. kato:oh, shit. sorry. i spent three weeks making anew bumper for hisrolls-royce. and the day after i finished,he crashed it. he actually said it was myfault. he screamed at me.
that sounds like him. listen to this, here's anotherstory of the10 million i have. i'm young, there's a... guys are picking on a girlin school, i try to stop it. i get in trouble. what does my dad do? he takes my favorite toy, andhe rips the head off of it!right in front of me. he throws itin the garbage. i was trying to help!that's all i was trying to do!
you know,it's unbelievable. he's an ass his entire lifeand then, you know, theybuild him a statue. i just don't think... people are gonna look at itand think he's greatbut he's not. it's totally unfair. there's no justice. [beethoven's "symphony no.3 in e flat major 'eroica'op. 55" playing on record] well, kato? what do you say we getourselves some goddamnjustice, huh?
you serious? i'm totally serious. let's do something crazy, man.let's do something nuts! let's just do it. yeah! [humming] let's roll, kato. [the white stripes'"red death at 6:14" playing] [imitates james] do you thinkit makes me happy to do this,dad?
[in normal voice]come here. [woman laughing] britt:whoop! i know what you mean. oh, this looks ominous. man 1:where you going, man? [all chattering] [men laughing] [woman gasps]
oh, shit. oh, no. [screaming] what do i do? what do i do? oh, god. hey! leave them alone! let's get him! oh, shit! i made a mistake! shit.
guys, seriously!that's messed up! seriously! no! aah! okay. okay. no. i'm gonna give hima root canal. just cut him. britt:get off, man! that's enough! open wi... you're a dead man!man 2: come on, let's go!
kato:britt! behind you! eat shit! kato, wait up! oh, my god. oh, my god. wait! wait for me!wait! wait! [sirens wailing] go, go, go.i'm in! i'm in! i'm in! oh, god! that was crazy!i can't believe that! holy shit!oh, my god, kato.
shit. pigs. oh, no. oh, no. are you a good driver? you kidding me? when i was a kid,me and some friends... britt:kato, not now. just drive. kato:okay, okay. just act cool. what do i do?just act casual.
pull it over! now! what are you doing? i'm trying to lose him. i don't know! man, now we'rein a car chase! here he comes! show me your hands! he's trying to kill us! do the ben-hur shit!
the ben-hur shit! officer:oh, no. aw. damn it. kato... i think this is the greatestmoment of my entire life. i know. mine too. [sam cooke's "twistingthe night away" playing] yeah! we rule! that was amazing!
[yelling and grunting] we are awesome! that was crazy! how do you do that, dude?you beat the crap out ofthose guys! where i grew up,it was very dangerous. i got in a lot of fightswhen i was a kid. but you knew where peoplewere without looking. you were so fast. when my heart starts pumping,it's almost like timeslows down.
it's unbelievablehow cool we are! do you hear me, dad?we did it! kato, i'm serious. i'm gonna get real with you,so just go with this. it might get weirdand intimate, but just accept me, okay? what we did tonight wasfantastic. it was amazing. we saved those people, man.we saved their lives! so here's what i'm saying.we keep doing this.
you can beat the crapout of a million dudes because you freeze timewhen your heartstarts pumping. we do that every night,i'm saying! kato? kato? ? we could be heroes ?? hey, hey, hey. look, look. oh! we're ontelevision! we're on tv.
look at me! where am i? i don't know. i'm too fast for tv. yes, exactly. man 1 [on tv]:- desecrated. and thiswithin days... we saved those people and theyjust talk about thatstupid head. how can we be heroesif they think we're criminals? the suspects are consideredarmed and dangerous.
man 2: i am coming to you livefrom elysian fieldscemetery... think about this, kato. what is the one insanelystupid thing every superherohas in common? tights? no. cape? no, kato. it's that everyone knows thatthey're the good guy,the hero, you know? all the bad guy has to do isstart capping innocent people
and he's got the good guyby the nuts. it's in every movie,it's in every comic book. it's in everything.it's so stupid. but if the bad guy thought the good guy was alsoa bad guy, he wouldn't beable to do that. that's what we'll dodifferently. we will pose as villains, but we'll act like heroes. but then the police and thebad guys willboth try to kill us.
we're dead already, kato. i mean, seriously, look at us. we've both been completelywasting our potential. you a little bitmore than me. what do you want yourautobiography to be called? oil changes and cappuccinos? because i think balls deepin shit-kicking dudes by kato is a much cooler-soundingbook. i would read that book,and i don't read shit.
but when they adapted it intoa movie, i would see theshit out of it. kato, you should never makecoffee for anyone again. it's a waste of your talent. it's not dying thatyou need to be afraid of. it's never having livedin the first place. it did feel goodsaving those people. well, technically, i savedthem, but you helped. whatever. let's not get technical.but why would people
take us serious? we're justtwo guys who stole a head. hm? i know how to make themtake us seriously. all right, gentlemen. hear ye,hear ye. court is in session. let's talk shop, okay? shall we? who's this guy? who's your friend? he's my man.i'm not your man.
he's not my man.no. he's not my man. he's like, you know, he's like"my man." he's my, uh... not... we're plato...it's plato... we're platonic friends.platonic male friends. he's my executive associate. yes. that's who he is,and that doesn't matter. what does matteris how we tackle this horrible incident.
whoever did this meansbusiness, and this isjust the beginning. what are you talking about?you mean the vandalizingbusiness? ah, i get it. listen, let's not blow thisthing out of proportion. i will blow this guyin any proportion i like. this is my newspaper, axford, and i wantthis man on the frontpage of it. i want him on the webpage.i want you to blog about him. i want him on everynews outlet we have.
i want the whole cityto know how dangerous this man is. the man that cutthe head off of my father's statue.not yours. man 1:all right. since there isn't any realinfo on the guy's identity, um, what dowe call him? that's easy. i got it.
this man is called the green bee. mm. it's kind of lame. man 2:it sounds like aknitting store. it sounds likean energy bar. no, that came out wrong.that's not what i meant.i didn't mean that! i like the decapitator. well, then make it likethe green desecrater.
what's the guythat drives the horse? woman:or green trenchcoat guy. the green hornet. no. it's more like... man 2: what?man 1: what did? that's pretty awesome. much better. you guys like that?man 1: yeah, your man's right. green hornet it is.woman: looks good too.
man 2: the green hornet. yeah.okay. okay. fine. fine. it's decided, then. the front page oftomorrow's newspaper will feature the green hornet.unless you like greenbee better? anyone? no one? oh, that's much worse. woman: definitely hornet.okay, fine. woman:so green hornet des... oh, no, not "desecrates."how about decapitates?
it's gonna bea long night. i am. shh. we need to think ofa cool name for you. the lil' stinger! i'm the green hornet,you're lil' stinger! no way. the honey pot. get it? like, bees make honey?you're my honey pot.
chudnofsky:what's going on? decapitated statues.i decapitated real people. no, no. i wouldn'tworry about it. he won't affectbusiness. i'm not worried. who told you i'm worried? reporter:da scanlon! with the nightclub bombing,and now this green hornet guy, some say the streets mightnot be as safe as you say.
look, guys, stop connecting separatethoughts with invisible lines. this green hornet thingis just a prank. [on tv] what you guys shouldreport is that sincei took office crime is down significantlyin the city of los angeles. hi.hi. i'm lenore case. i'm the temp for mr. reid'ssecretarial position. today's my first day.
oh, nice to meet you.i'm kato. it's my first day too. really? well, niceto meet you. do you work for mr. reid? i'm his executive associate. wow. that must be great. yeah, it is. so far. i have a reallyimportant question. who is the hottie-boom-bottie
who's standing rightbehind me right now? i'm kidding. hi, i'mbritt reid. i own thisnewspaper. what's going on?it's such a pleasure.i'm lenore case. i've been sent to be your tempuntil you find anew secretary. ah. jackpot. right this way. so... got one.
why don't you tell me: how do you feel aboutthe state of this newspaper as it stands today. go. to be honest,this paper has taken a dip in the last few yearsin quality and ambition. lenore:well, the entire industry has because of the internet.
so there's a lot of pressureto print easy-to-digestarticles. and it's the last family-owned paper in thecity, one of the onlynot attached to a conglomerate,so it's understandable. britt:conglomerate? the sentinel used to reallyuse its independence to be brazen,at the very least. like that article your fatherwrote just after the bombing? that was reporting. that isthe kind of article that canmake a difference.
that was good. you knowa lot about this shit, huh? i studied journalism.i have a minor in criminology. really?yeah. criminology.the study of thecriminal mind. what are your thoughts on this green hornetcharacter? go. lenore:um... well, first, there'stwo kinds of criminals. there's the psychoegomaniac
and the power maniac. he seems to bethe second. english.lenore: he defied authority... what will he do next? what is his next move,is what i was gonna ask. [mouths]write this down. lenore:well, he'll probably try to appropriate more power. he'll hit somebodyon their own turf.
basically, he'll start outsmall, and then he'll work hisway up to the top. i mean, that's what john gottidid to paul castellano in '85. and it worked?lenore: yes. wow. look at you! you really know a lotabout this stuff. and you're lovelyand beautiful and... i'm just sitting herethinking, "why are you onlypursuing this in your?" kato, help me out here. twilight?
"twilight"? i saw the movie,but i don't see how this is... oh, no, no, no. not like that.no. not like the movie. i guess if we're doing movies,it would be more like cocoon or something like that. yeah. laterin one's years. what are you?i'm only 36. you're 36? holy shit. that's crazy.
thought you were,like, 31, tops. i don't even know if wecan hire a 36-year-old. we have to build a ramp. huh? why now? she doesn't wanna tell you. you don't know whatyou're talking about. lenore:mr. kato is right. i do not feel comfortable.
and if this means i am notgoing to be your temp anylonger, i'm sorry. it's... that's exactlywhat it means. yeah.okay, thank you. because you are nowmy permanent secretary! here is what hasgone down, lenore. you've displayedtwo things. balls. and if there's one thingi like on my women, it's balls.
be my permanentsecretary. are you kidding me? i'm not kidding.this is how i do. this is how i roll,every day, all day. i make it rainlike this, okay? come work for me. just say yes. don't think.really? i'll do it. yes!thank you. yes! this is so exciting.it is exciting.
thank you so much.don't thank him. thank you.yes. i will not disappoint you.i don't think you will. i will do in-depth research,fact checking, spell checking. anything thatyou need. why don't you get started onmore green hornet research?perfect. bam. she is hot. it's crazy how hotshe is. it's sickening. did you write downeverything?
let me see! pervert. let's get to work, kato. britt: all right, we got aplan. start small, work our way up to the top.okay. we'll need a car. yes, we'll need a car. with some weapons. and armor.
cool rims. spinning rims. slurpee machine. a horn that plays"la cucaracha." loaded up the asswith cool shit! i can do that. kato, i want youto take my hand and come with meon this adventure. i'll go with you,but i don't wanna touch you. don't take my hand, but willyou come with me on thisadventure?
[the white stripes'"blue orchid" playing] [speaking indistinctly] [imitates gunshot] i'll pick this one. all right. this one. tell mewhat's going down, girl. hey, kato! come closer. i had an idea for the car.
ejector seats. ejector seats? you don't thinkit's a good idea? both:hi. i'm so excited right now. i can't wait! oh, man. what the hell? watch your feet. i call it theblack beauty.
kato! it's beautiful! and it's black. wow! incredible. [engine revs] dude, we're forgettingsomething important. that is so wicked. [coolio's "gangsta's paradise"playing on record]
[singing "gangsta's paradise"] [singing] whoo! [music stops] where we going? i have no idea.i thought you knew. oh, okay, i got an idea. okay. [phone rings] mr. reid's office.
britt [in deep voice]:i'm looking at you. [in normal voice]i'm totally joking. britt reid calling. burning the candleat both ends, i see. wouldn't mr. casebe upset with that? there is no mr. case? well, that's notwhy i'm calling. remember we asked you to doall that green hornetresearch? predicting whathe might do next?
if you could send us that?those crime maps. oh, yeah.that'd be helpful.fax it over. hold on a second. let me see.it's coming right at you. great. so, what you doing? just? if you need anything else,let me know. i'll talk to you soon.uh-huh. bye-bye. she wants me so bad,
it's crazy. here we go. south central. yeah. okay. we got 14 homicides, 34 assaults,116 drug arrests. this month. a good place for the greenhornet to make his debut. let's roll, kato.let's roll.
britt:this is really far east. i've never beento this part of town. i think we're in the'hood, kato. britt, britt!do you think we start with them? britt:yeah. just like lenore said. start small, work our way up. this is really,really intense. kato: you don't want to do it?britt: i do.
let's do it beforewe chicken out, okay? i won't chicken out.who knows who might? just pull up to them. i don't want to talk. well, i don't want to talkeither. so get in the back! kato: i barely speak english.britt: you're speakingenglish now! okay, fine!oh, this is so stupid. kato: calm down.britt: i am calm.this is scary. kato: shut up.britt: you shut up.just let me talk.
kato: be cool, be cool.britt: i am cool. shut up. man: yo, you lookingfor that good stuff, man? [speaks in spanish] i am the green hornet. and i would like to sitdown with your boss. sit on this, bitch. whoa, whoa, whoa! aah! oh, god!
my arm! britt: bean bags!kato, hit them with thebean bags! [all grunting] yeah! yeah! let me show youhow it's done! green hornet says hello! [britt gasps]
eat my foot, bitch! my nuts! what the hell was that? who do you work for? oh, god. gross. shit. hey! you! come here! come here! hey! who do you work for?
guy everybody works for. britt:chov-what-sky? what kind of adumb name is that? where do you getthe shit you sell? i won't tell you. oh, really? never? man:chudnofsky's on our ass, guys. we gotta get thisshipment done. you've justbeen stung!
you! this is my town now! my name is the green hornet. cool, man.nice to meet you. cool. how's it going? anyway, tell your boss the green hornetsends his regards. you broke my lab, man. i'm sorry about that.
let's burn thismother down, kato. explain yourself, mr. tupper. the guy was crazy, man.i mean, he drove a carthrough a wall. the thing lookedlike a half-tank. there was firecoming out of the thing. and? oh, yeah,he gave me this. he said thatthis is his town now. a man comes in in an insectcostume and you shityour pants?
look, trust me! a grown manwearing a mask is a little bit scarierthan a guy wearing a suit. you're not pleased with mysuit? does it fail to fillyou with fear? i'm sorry, i didn't meanany disrespect. do you have any idea howmany great people havekilled in a suit?! i like your suit. me too. this is exactlywhat i was talking about.
i'm not as scary as some idiotin a green mask. come on! you said it won'taffect business. now, this guy ran six of the biggest methlabs in l.a. now because of that hornet,he's dead. business affected. i've got reports of the greenhornet shooting outa camera... i had a report thatan elderly couple claims he gave the fingerfrom the hov lane.
- that saw the green hornetand his chauffeurin a fistfight with gang membersin south central. the green hornet raisesquestions. we all know that gang proliferationhas been rising. okay, that'll be homework. i got a yoga class. don't worry. anyhoo, bottomline: headlines, people. get this storyout there. will the violence continueto spill out onto the street?
what are the policedoing about it? is anyone safe at the mercy of, dot, dot, dot, the green hornet? and i want those dots.i want dots in thepaper, okay? want us to handlethis delicately? but da scanlon's re-electionplatform is based on cleaningup the streets. you guys are acquaintances.
so if you want us to...that's a great idea. you should use that. write an article about that! "even da scanlon is quiveringat the feet of this scourge." use the word "scourge." write an article about that.britt. can i talk to you?yeah, yeah. i know what you're trying todo, turn this newspaper intoa discotheque. but it's not gonna work.
that's not what i'm doing.she's a brainy broad. this is a serious matter,okay? every line we print,there's repercussions. somebody has to takeresponsibility. that's me. well, i'm not afraid of thesebastards and you shouldn'tbe either. neither was daniel. he made it to the wall. they killed him for wantonlyspeculating on the drug war. that's exactly what you andyour little girlfriendare doing.
i know you think myexperience ain't worth shit, but your father listenedto me. so should you. this is the storyi want to run. i'm going with it, and if hewere still with us, it's what daniel vertell...vertellah? vertellot? vertolibe? vertalot. it's what hewould've wanted too. okay? that's the story, team.run it! britt reid outro.
[van halen's "feel yourlove tonight" playing] bzz. bzz. "scourge"? [glass breaks] - tail on this hornet guy! red light. stop! shit, the camera got us. [tires screech] what camera?
the green hornetand his masked accomplice stirred up trouble inthe southland today. violence has erupteddowntown... [whistling] kato? breakfast in the house.yes. i just checkedthe hornet mail. nothing new,but they'll be a-knocking. sounds great.yeah. i have something for you.really? awesome.
"dear britt, you aremy shon-di." what's shon-di? brother. that's awfully nice. [imitates explosion] i've never had a brother, man.i always wanted one. [hums fanfare] what the hellis this? it's a gas gun.your hornet gun!
a gas gun?yeah. why not a "gun" gun? our enemies have"gun" guns. what? i don't understand.what are these? what is this? what are these?are these paint balls? no. inside isknockout gas. that's insane. where's yours?do you have one? do you have a black versionof it? no, just you.
no?no. well, why not?why just me? you are so special. i know, but how comei'm the only one with a gun? you don't have much fighting experience,so i thought you needed a gun. well, i'll be honest,that's a little insulting,man. we were both badassesthe other night. i kicked that guy in the facelike three times. in the face.
yeah, yeah,i remember. it makes you look cool. i need to look cool now?what the hell? you said my outfit was pimp. i thought, "that's a weirdword." but you said itwas pimp. it is pimp.yeah. the hornet gunis just an accessory. an accessory?yeah. well, then you neednunchucks, then.
if you don't like it, don'tuse it. how does it work? shit! hey. okay. it works. [respirator whirringand monitor beeping] what the hell? i'm here! hey, you're awake. what the hell?what happened to me?
what's happening?what happened? you shot yourself inthe face by mistake. how long was i out?what time is it? two o'clock. oh, that's notso bad, i guess. on thursday. it's thursday? are youkidding? it's not mondayright now? no. i'm sorry. did you put this diaper on me?
well, what did i miss? nothing really. i did some work onthe black beauties. britt:"beauties"? holy crap. kato:backups. britt: how the hell didyou do this in four days? it's been 11 days. whoa, 11 days? what?!are you kidding me?
i wasn't sleeping,i was in a coma, dick! but it's okay now,i fixed the hornet gas. the gas only lastsone hour. can i see it? okay, but be carefulthis time. okay? i just want to look at it.just give it to me for .one second... see youin an hour. mr. reid! welcome back.i'm so glad you'refeeling better.
i heard that monowas the worst. mono? mm-hm. yeah, well, it's betterthan herpes, right? here are your messages.i have some meetings i'd like to set up with you.cool. knock that off. here is the research that you asked forbefore you got sick.
green hornet!me likey! da scanlon called, he saidthat he really needs to speakto you. boring! i need to go lookat this stuff. i read the article yousent me. lenore:what are you doing tonight? nothing.no? nothing at all. thought maybe we could go getdinner or get a drink, blowoff some steam.
yeah. i would love to. what time? lenore:i was thinking 7? we could meetdownstairs. seven. perfect. i'll be there.okay. oh! that was awesome! britt:hey, kato! can you make mesome coffee?
you don't have your wholelittle operation set up, but whatever you whip upwould be great. lenore, have you had thislittle bastard's coffee? because it is scrump-diddly-umptious.you want a cup? i'm fine, thank you. so that's just one cup of coffee, kato.
so there's this restaurantthat just opened in the sanfernando valley, and it's calledla maison des la voide. the whole thing is you eatyour meal in total darkness. so with deprived sight, each bite is like anorgasm in your mouth. and i was thinkingmaybe it would be mr. reid's office.fun if... this is da scanlon callingfor britt reid, please. hello, sir. i'm awareyou've been calling.
no, he's had mono. let me look. maybe there's achance we could workthat out today. ow! ow! if you ever tell meto get you coffee again, i'll beat the shitout of you! what are you? what is wrongwith you? are you crazy? this is our plan,you're supposed towork for me! you got me a jamba juice! we're supposed to bebrothers, man.
we're supposed to beshon-di! what happened to that,huh? i'm sorry. you should be sorry. we've become superheroes andthere's a lot of stressinvolved, but you don't gottafreak out about it. now can i havethe coffee? i'm joking. i'm totallyjoking. you still mad at me,kato?
good. because you shouldn'tbe anyway. what's up withlenore, man? is she acting weirdaround me? no, why? i "like" like her. and i can't nail her.she's completely un-nailable. it's a terrible fact.i don't know what to do. she doesn't like you,why would you want her?
maybe it's because she doesn'tlike me. isn't that sick? that could be it. girls are such a drag, kato.thank god we have each other. hey! i'm calling aboys' night! what doyou say, huh? i didn't know you wanted tohang out. i'm going for drinkswith a friend. friend? who?come on. tony. tony? well, have fun!
hey, wait, wait, wait!can i come? [piano playing] kato: you want to try?lenore: no. hit the black key. okay, i'll try.which one? you know, this green hornet thingis just crazy, isn't it? i mean, it's all i canthink about sometimes. i feel really in tunedwith it. kind of like that guywith the zodiac killer.
what about the mandressed in black? johnny cash? no. his partner. his partner. no, i don't thinkthat that's his partner. that's probably justsome thug he hired. anyhow, they'll bothbe dead in no time. why? because the green hornet'sbeen attracting way toomuch attention. whoever's in chargeis gonna get tired of it,
call him in to makea deal, then kill him. it's what gotti didto mangela in '87. in two weeks. two weeks, tops,that's what i give them. two weeks?dead. chili: you're not gonna likethis, but we got nothing. it's like the green hornetdidn't exist. nobody's done a dealwith him, done time with him. nobody's heard of him.
it's like he cameout of thin air. pope ye:yeah, and i've gotta say, he's setting a bad examplefor the other gangs. i met with thearmenians today. they told me if thehornet is independent, they wanna beindependent too. the armenians truly said that? and i heard rumors the koreansare talking the same. which korean?
kim. kim? no, kim never said that. no, we've been doing businessfor 25 years. we're friends. i'm sorry, boss. that's just shocking. pope ye: maybe we should godown there and teach them to keep theirmouths shut. chudnofsky:no.
no. no. i should kill kim myself.he's a friend. [screams] and i'll kill the armenianstoo. it'll make mefeel better. wait! wait!aah! aah! great. what aboutthe hornet? kato:britt? what you doing here? guess what,you son of a bitch.
we got mail. we got hornet mail!he e-mailed! it happened! come here, look! come here!look, look, look! "green hornet." me. "good job on themeth lab." unh! "the place was costing memoney and i wanted toshut it down." that's b.s. "let's talk about anotherventure that could bemutually beneficial. please meet tomorrowat the lot on fifth and union
in downtown at 4 p.m." another adventure forthe green hornet and his nameless sidekick! [hums] looks like we've gotsome planning to do. it could be a trap. like how gotti killedmangela in '87. where did you hear that from? the history channel.
oh, yeah? should we go downtown now and check it out? no, that's cool.i got that covered. you fill up the carwith weapons and stuff. so you're just gonna come upwith the plan by yourself? bingo. i don't knowif that's the best idea. course you don't.what's that mean?
oh, it means that you thinkyou're an awesome karate dude that can do anything, and thati'm an incompetent schmuck who needs a gunthat shoots farts at people. i'm saying, we shoulddo this together. i'm sayingyou should go home. you should go to sleep sotomorrow you could processmy incredible plan. fine. kato:this is so stupid. we pissed this guy off.
now we're walkinginto his turf. we walked into their turflast time and guess what. we kicked the crapout of them. and everyone knows:what happens when youcorner a hornet? you get stung. "you get stung."what does that mean? this is not a game, britt.and you're gonnaget us killed. if you don't like my plan,you do not haveto be a part of it. i don't think you have a plan.i do!
i just haven'ttold you yet. and it's amazing,okay? so are you in, or are youchickening out like a bitch? kato:you are a bitch. britt: not now, kato, not now.turn in here. there they are.game faces, kato. game faces. kato:shh, shh. here's the plan.take this, put it in your ear. you listen inon my phone,
which i've taped to my chest. when i say the secret word,which is "constantinople," i'll kick the old guy in thenuts, you blow them up withmissiles. whoa! truck!kato, back up! back up!back up! okay, okay, okay. this is not partof the plan! kato:no shit! [engine stalling]
oh! and so thunderstrikes lightning. britt:okay, don't panic! [grunting] the worst thing we cando right now is panic. just let me think. okay, don't worry.i'll get us out of here, okay? kato: no, you won't!we're gonna die now,you ass-wipe. well, with that attitudewe will! come on, man!
i think i'm claustrophobic!let me think. oh, no! i can't breathe!listen, listen. [thudding] we're buried!we are totally buried! okay, okay. britt:what are you doing? either killing usor saving us. britt: whoa, whoa, whoa!missiles armed?
that's your plan?you'll blow us up. that's not a good plan! disarm them, man! shall we part? feel like kebabsfor dinner? [computer beeping] chudnofsky:look out [chili screams] chili!
they killed him!they killed chili! [beeping] britt:run! [britt screams] there's thorns in thesebushes! shut up! shut up! britt:this thing has no aim! it sucks! kato:you have no aim!
britt! i smash window,you shoot in. every manfor himself! go away! chudnofsky:die! britt:oh, shit! [both scream] [panting] so you just gonna ignoreme now, is that it?
like a baby? and go home, eat somebaby food maybe? drink some milk? why don't youtalk like a baby. mama, goo-goo.you baby. waah. baby. woman [on tv]: explosives weretriggered from that vehicle,destroying it, freeing the green hornet...kato: dickweed.
you're calling me that too?i know people call me that. that's not a surprise.that's not a mystery. why not? you say rude thingsto me all day, every day. that's not howpartners work. we're not partners. i'm the hero,you're my sidekick! that's what this is. i'm indy,you're short round!
simon, garfunkel! scooby, doo! stop fooling yourself.green hornet isnothing without me. i made the knockout gas.i alone designed and builtthe black beauty. and i didn't help at all? how? ejector seats? exactly. what a great idea. you may have startedthis green hornet thing
because you hatedyour father. you're an egomaniac.i know. exactly like your father. you are a jealous,pathetic little man! fine. you're doing greatwith lenore. what the helldoes that mean? oh, oh. don't youwalk away on that! what, you're charmingher pants off, that's what i'm supposedto believe?
no, that isa filthy gesture! you know i like her! i confided in you, kato! i trusted you!i told you i liked her! stop it! you hit oneverything that moves. i'm amazed you haven't hit on me yet. if you keep talkinglike this, kato, i'm gonna beatthe shit out of you.
just so you know.i'd like to see you try. you are a yuppie wimp, and i'm a martial arts expertwho grew up penniless on thestreets. you grew up penis-lesson the streets. funny! heroes beat sidekicks,period! don't do that.do what? i'm warning you. okay, i'm gonnaforget that slap
so we can fix this. okay, okay, you're right.you're right. let's talk. i'm sorry. sacked you likea bitch, kato! come here!chop-chop! you like that, kato? youlike it? this is what you get when you cornera hornet! you get... [kato shouts in mandarin]
now i'm gonna hurt you. i'd like to see you try. get this stupid thing off me, you cheating bastard! you dirty bastard! you idiot. okay, let's... can we end this? you are so stubborn.
do you like it? you like it? no, i don't like it! you like it? you like it? i don't like it. okay. now we can end this. just stop.just stop. just stop! stop! stop, stop, stop! [kato yelling]
kato:britt! help! get out of my pool. get off my property! you're fired! never come back!help! i can't swim! britt! britt! [coughing]
[knocking on door] kato:lenore, it's me. it's me, kato. that's for whatever lie youtold britt. what? he called me a minx,and then he fired me. [speaks in mandarin] chudnofsky:chili was a fine warrior. he was a man ofhonor and dignity. we must show our respect.
and we must show itin blood. popeye, go forth. take these wordsand spread them: the bounty,1 million dollars. the prey,the green hornet. dead, if possible. alive, if necessary. i don't care whence they haveto go, or who they have to do. i want the head of the greenhornet, and i want it tonight!
find him. kill him.take him out. woman 1:how do you do? everybody, chasethe hornet! it's about the hornet.we want him dead. all right. hey, you,do me a favor. listen to me.he's got a mask on. i need you to spread theword, all right? kill him. woman 2:the mask was green. yeah.
man 1:yo. a green mask. woman 2: a hit on the hornet.a million bucks. pope ye:good, good. man 2: what's going on?what's the word? listen, this green hornet.he's got a mask on. masseuse: one million dollar.the green hornet. valet:you got it. all right. pope ye:hey, jacko!
masseuse: hey, man, youwanna make a few bucks? chudnofsky: you failed tokill me the hornet, popeye! i warned youabout this. you heightened thisthing to a point where it had to reachsome kind of a climax. well, here it is. i hope you realize nowthat you should stay out ofmy way. let me run this paper. woman [on tv]: a gruesomescene last night as bodieswere found across the city,
every one of themwearing green clothing. [line rings] investigators believe theslaughter was part of amanhunt... da scanlon's office,please. the victims were unrelatedand authorities believe their only connection was their choice of attire.as a precaution,police are advising citizens to avoid wearingthe color green,so as not to be unwittingly targeted.
this is my fault. this iswhat i did with this paper. scanlon:so what? at least you tried. your dadwould have understood that. look, running a newspapermust be difficult. i mean, if it's anything likerunning a re-electioncampaign, it's gotta be a painin the ass. heh, heh. fortunately, i think we canmake each other'slives easier. how? there are two sidesto every story.
i mean, some people,they see an event and they interpret it as this crimewar, you know? other people seethe same incident and they interpret itas an isolated event. yeah.i guess i could... help you decide howthese incidents are exposed. in the public interest,of course. now, if this collaborationleads to assert my position, well, i will make surethat you
enjoy compensationin return. what kind of compensation? frank, are you...? are you saying you want meto slant the news for your re-election?is that what this is? i thought youneeded my help. we help each other out so that we canboth get ahead. this is mutually beneficial.
okay, i get it now. you went to my dad,he rejected your offer, and you think you canpush me around. that's what you think? no, what i think is that you overvalueyour dad's integrity. you get out of my officeright this second. [scoffs] this might bewhat you're looking for.
you're welcome. stay here. boss, what are youdoing up here? we were waitingfor you down... come here. i've been doingsome thinking. and i hada revelation. look, i'm obsolete. i'm a dinosaur.
not in the scary way,in the extinct way. and it's timefor changes. you know,it's time for me to gain some... charisma. i've no idea what you'retalking about. i mean... ha, ha. i'm talkingabout a motif. a theme. a mask. perhaps a stylish cape.
i'm talking about thedeath of chudnofsky and the rebirthof bloodnofsky. what do you say? honestly? i think that is the stupidestthing i have ever heard. why is that stupid? that's not stupid. bloodnofsky. i was gonna wear red.
for blood, get it? that's scary. and cool. get this: "be it my mask or your blood,red will be the last coloryou'll ever see." i say that to peoplewhen i kill them. the green hornetkilled chili. i am minus an eyeball here. you can't go and tell theseguys that, they'llthink you've
lost your bloody mind. i think you're havinga midlife crisis here. seriously, you're startingto scare me. want to know a secret? i'm starting to scare myself. [gunshot] gentlemen, the reign of bloodnofskystarts tonight. hey. i'm sorry i fired you!get out of here!
i shouldn't havecalled you a minx. look, please,just listen to me. kato lied about us,okay? you should have foundthat out before you fire me. nothing happened?no. oh, thank god! i knew it!i knew nothing happened! that ass. he said youdid this. what? what is that? i don't know. it's gross.that's not why i'm here.
i need you to come backand work. i'll do whatever you want.i'll double your salary. things at the sentinel?not what they seem. as soon as scanlonstarted running, my father stopped printingnews about hard crime. he was making scanlonlook good. and i have tomake it right. and i realized that if iwant to do what's best forthis world... that the daily sentinel is themost responsibleway to do that.
but here's the problem: i don't know anything about journalism.lenore: that's the truth. look, i need someonewho does. i need someone whoi can trust with my life. i'm just... okay? i need someone who is you.i need you, lenore. will you pleasehelp me?
britt, l... i know, i know. oh, my god! what is yourproblem? god. why did youdo that to me? because you triedto kiss me! yeah, we were gonna make out.no, we weren't. then i guess i owe you anapology, becausei misread that.
as usual. okay. look, i'm sorry. ididn't plan on kissing youwhen i said all that. will you come backand work for me, please? pretty please? double my salary. and i wanta parking spot. you don't have a parking spot?oh, that sucks. and if you ever so muchas look at my ass again... i can't even see it.
i will sue you for sexualharassment. do you understand? hugs? where my hugs at, y'all? [lock clicks] britt reid's office.scanlon: frank scanlon. oh. please hold. da scanlon. really?yes. hello?
hey, britt, it's scanlon. listen, i think i oweyou an apology. chudnofsky: too much blood inthe gutter. you win. let'ssplit l.a. you get the l. i get the a.that means we share the gold and the work. one million dollars for today. scanlon: i think youmisunderstood where i wascoming from and i'd like a chanceto clarify some things. things are pretty clear.
i got three words for you:no. suck it, you dick face!look. tell him that you wannameet him. this is journalism. if you wanna be aninvestigative reporter, youhave to investigate. tell him that youwanna meet him. might've gotten disconnected,britt. you're right.watch this. i was joking. yeah, why don't we gettogether and talkabout things? that's a good idea. okay?
let's meet for dinner.a little place calledgonpachi hibachi. little place on la cienega. around 8:30? la cienega, 8:30. scanlon:britt! hey, frank. hey, britt. good to see you.
i'm having a sake.what are you having? yeah, i'll havesome sake. thanks for coming. no problem. [car approaching] mr. chudnofsky? bloodnofsky.blood-nof-sky. i commissioned thegreen hornet. you'rethe chauffeur. partner.
where's the hornet? right there. man: whoa, we onlyget half the team? who says you'rethe good half? where's reid? guess. oh. any of you move,you're dead. i'm not actually herefor forgiveness, britt.
i don't understand. you understand nothing, so i'm gonna explain itto you very simply. if you ever come across anyarticle regardinga major crime, a man namedbenjamin chudnofsky, or anything that makesthis city think i am not the fine lineprotecting the lightfrom the darkness, you're gonnabring it to me. you're gonna bring it to me
and i'll tell youif it's okay to print in your stupid littlenewspaper. that's how i did itwith your dad. and that's how youand i are gonna do it. scanlon, are you sayingyou want me to let youwrite the news? [sighs] finally youunderstand. yup. i understand,all right. here's whati understand.
that you, son,just got played by a player. recording device.usb. no, you can't have it,it's mine! you stupid schmuck! i got you bythe balls, scanlon. i own a newspaper,genius. this'll be front-page.i have to say i'm impressed.you should be.
it won't do youany good. how could it not?are you gonna kill mein this restaurant? yes. what, you're gonnamurder me? yeah. like i murderedyour father. i don't think so. my dad wasnot murdered. he died of abee sting. no, no, your father died ofan overdose of apitoxin, most commonly found in a beesting, which he happened to beallergic to. but that apitoxin
was administered by me. james: think, britt. you canfigure this out, my son,with your brains. it's almost like timeslows down. that's right. think. slowly. britt: okay, two years ago,scanlon decides to run for da. he says he's cleaning upthe streets of l.a., which is impossible. so he asked the mediato slant the news. and you go along with itlike everybody else?
james:no way. i refused. britt: so he... shit!what does he do? soscanlon decides to go really dirty. makes a pact with a criminal.chudnofsky killsyour reporter. vertolibe? vertoleeb? james: i didn't want morebloodshed, so i stoppedreporting on crime. to be honest,in the last few years, this paper has dippedin quality and ambition. britt: scanlon can holdup his part of the deal,
keeping the mediaunder control, and chudnofsky doeswhatever he wants! to be honest... but chudnofskyhad a different plan. he wanted to take overall the gangs of l.a. so that's when you decided to cut the strings. james: i couldn't lookin the mirror. i hated everyword i said to you that morning, britt.
britt: so you startreporting on crime again. and now scanlonis a dead man unless he proveshe's still in control. he has no choicebut to organize a meeting with you, and he kills you himself. in the end, you stood upfor what's right, dad. now i have to do the same.
i can see by that expressionyou've had on your facefor five minutes that you're piecing thistogether, but it's no good. you're about to be killedby the green hornet. [crowd screaming] man: the green hornet'ssidekick! he's got a gun! bluff! bluff! eradicate! before you do this, i wantyou to know that i'm sorry. i'm sorry foreverything.
i forgive you. hey, not me. him, stupid. confused?you should be. go, go. britt:let's bail, kato! back here! we're cornered! know what happenswhen you corner a hornet? no!you get stung!
oh, je...! kato:see? backups. britt:go, go, go! what the hell?he's supposed tokill britt reid! he's shooting at me!embark the vehicle! are you okay? wait. yeah, i'm fine. my outfit's back here. chudnofsky:britt reid is thegreen hornet!
i know. you hireda guy to kill himself. chudnofsky:shut up! britt reid recordedthe whole conversation on somesushi drive usb! we can't lose him! we're not losing him,we're following him! oh, kato. thank you. i need to hug you to thankyou! what the hell? to the house?no!
here's the dilly yo. we gotta get thisto the sentinel. it's got scanlonspilling the beans. we're gonna put iton the net. it's what my fatherwould have wanted. you like your father now?yes! you see, he wasn'ta dick after all. well, he was a dick, just notreally how we thought he was. at the end,he wasn't a di...
it's complicated.i'll explain later, okay? it's a lot of conflictingemotions. let's roll, britt. britt:here's the thing, honestly. i've been jealous of youthis entire time. you're awesome. you builtthis car. uh-huh. i know. you know karate. you'recharming. thank you! britt: these guys areamazingly well organized. hold on!
oh, yeah! burn themfrom the side! door guns! what's a door gun? here! the other side! britt:your turn! man:oh, god! we lost him!
he's gone! he's gone!yeah! britt:shit! he's back! you gotta bekidding me. these guys are good! over there,over there! we're not gonnamake it, dude. we're notgonna make it! scanlon: yeah,we're gonna make it! that's a verybig gun.
[laughing] britt:kato, be careful! take the wheel. britt:what?! take the wheel.i can't! yes, you can! nunchucks?!that was my idea! where are you going? are you okay?what are you doing?
shit! shit! jesus! i don't know whatanything does! why didn't youdo this in english?! what are you saying?closer. just jump in! turn the knob! britt:these guys are shooting at me! sorry! i'm sorry!turn the knob!
i don't know how!calm down! britt:how do i stop it? how do i stop it? oh, god, i'm sorry. [truck horn blares] it's on fire!it's okay. it's okay! next time,don't touch anything. kato! look!
we made it! kato, we made it!hell, yeah! i can't.okay, that's cool. britt:oh, we're screwed! kato:yee-ha! man:come on, hurry! hurry up! britt:whoops. did you drop it? go get it!i'll cover you!
britt:wish me luck! good luck! chudnofsky:dear hornet, be it my mask or your blood, red will be the last... it's britt reid! there he is! get him! don't let them go!
come on! get him! get him! chudnofsky:let me shoot him! oh, no. scanlon:shoot to kill! you broughta gas mask?! of course i broughta gas mask! just for yourself?! where the...?
there! there! behind the paper! over here! the helmet,it fogs up everything. there. there. chudnofsky:shoot, shoot. kato, save me! ha! i'm ungassable! man:move it!
that was dangerous. drop me by the elevators,i'll take it from here! kato:no, we stay together! get in the front seat! quick! quick! scanlon:tenth floor! tenth floor! what works? missiles?four missiles left. hornet gun?
check.machine guns? check. does it drive? front-wheel drive. [people screaming] axford:get out! get out of here! you can letme out here. bazooka!
guy with a bazooka! missile! kato:fire! chudnofsky:reload! kato, they're here. go be a journalist. i'll kick ass. there they are! [all screaming]
i'm there. in one minute,this'll be all over the world. [horn honks] swat:blue team, go! start up. man 1:shit! man 2:there! chudnofsky: can you see him?i can't see him. [man 3 chokes]
[chudnofsky chuckles] [grunts] oh, i'm so stupid. scanlon:all right, reid! hand over the thing. britt:you want it?! go get it! where is it? where is it? i am bloodnofsky.
i killed a thousand beforeand i'll kill a thousand more. now tremblebefore your death. for be it my mask,or be it your blood, red will be the last coloryou'll ever see. kato: shit!hey! end of the road,scanlon. okay, okay.let's just calm down. hand overthe sushi. oh... uh, yeah,hand it over.
we can talk about it. swat 1: on the ground, now!swat 2: get down! it's the green hornet.shoot him! britt, quick! i'm district attorneyfrank scanlon! that is the green hornet.go shoot him! swat 3:down on the ground! kato, i screwed up! scanlon's gonnaget away scot-free!
no, he's not. [britt yelling] kato:don't move. don't move. britt:ow! oh! ow! whoa. holy shit! ejector seats! you actuallybuilt them! it was a good idea.
this is really scary. a high-speed chasebetween the green hornet and gang members has ledto the daily sentinel office, lenore:oh, my god! i called it. leaving a trail of demolishedcars and trucks in their path. britt: here's the story:we're on our way to a costumeparty. okay? we gotta getout of our suits. where the hellare we gonna go? man [on tv]: no one knows whythe district attorney...
aah!britt: lenore! no, no, no. lenore, stop!no, wait! kato:stop. lenore! britt:lenore! wait. how do you knowmy name? kato. britt: it's me. ha.oh, my god. you assholes!
what the hell are you doing?!you guys are criminals! you're criminals!oh, my god. stop.we're helping people. why ask me to do researchon the green hornet when you arethe green hornet? we don't know what we'redoing. we needed you.don't you see? you're the mastermind.what? officer:this is the police. open up. please don't screw us.we were trying to begood people.
shh!think about it. hello, officer,can i help you? we're looking for twomasked men. seen anything? yeah, of course. they're all over the newsall the time. all right. well, please reportanything suspicious. absolutely. you guys are suchstupid assholes! what are you thinking?!please forgive us. forgive me.
are you crazy?kiss and make up later. i don't kiss him! britt:i got a bullet in me! you and i don't kiss!you guys might kiss, but idon't kiss you! i've been shotin the shoulder. well, then goto the hospital! no! don't you see? the policeknow the green hornet was shot in the shoulder. if i go to the hospital,they'll know i'm thegreen hornet.
yeah, you'vebeen shot. ew. britt: here's what i need.what? britt: get me a spatulato bite and a knife. you gotta dig this bulletout of my meat. do it. i'm cold. it's deep inside me. oh, god.spatula. okay, okay. wait! sterilize it!what?
sterilize it. i don't wannaget gangrene. kato:say it, say it. shon-di.britt: shon-di. kato:shon-di forever. here we go, this is hot.let me see. just wait. i'm not ready.stop, stop, stop. aah! wait, it hurts. okay, i can't do it.take me to the hospital.
would youjust shut up? okay, look, if i'm the mastermind of this,just let me have a secondof silence so i can figure this out!okay? britt:mere hours ago, the green hornet and a groupof his criminal underlings launched a horrendous attackon this building that claimed the life ofdistrict attorneyfrank scanlon. it's unfortunate, but,
you know,that's what happens. the daily sentinelwill be rebuilt. and to start that off, i am naming mike axfordthe new editor in chief. mike's great and he'scomfortable telling me off, so he's the perfect manfor the job. we have to get this paperback to the ideals that my father started it on. i wanna make him proud,and i hope to
make this city proud of thedaily sentinel likenever before. the green hornetsends his regards. he shot me! aah! directly in the shoulder! officer: the green hornet'ssidekick shot britt reid! britt:get me to the hospital! lenore:he's been shot inthe shoulder! we gotta get himto a hospital right away! it worked. ow.
[david sardy's "greenhornet theme" playing] hey! we have a secret mission.everything we've done up till now iscomplete and utter crap! this is all that matters. this is it. it's crooked. he's kind of... he's kind oflooking...
down? ah, it's fine. doesn't matter. we did it. we did. his reliable partner, the blue wombat. [groans] okay, how aboutthe red hippopotamus?
no? not red hippopotamus? kato:hippos are not red. britt: i know. hornetsaren't green. who cares? the orange albatross. [the greenhornes'"saying goodbye" playing] [jay chou's "nunchucks"playing
