watch now! detail...
( street traffic blaring ) ( soft creaking ) ( zipper zips ) ( phone ringing ) ( ringing continues ) ( grunts ) oh! oh my god, oh my god. ( beeps ) automated voice: hello. no one is available to take your call.
please leave a message after the tone. ( beeps ) woman: sammy boy. big day today.it's going to be great. will you call me after your meeting? i need you to talk me down. you're going to wear the blue shirt, right? ugh, this happens to me every time i host a party. there's this moment beforehandwhere i prepare myself to learn that i'm not nearly as well-liked as i thought i was.
tuck tuck. don't forget to tuck. ugh, this is weird, sam. you've got to admit,i'm having a weird party. okay, why am i still talking? you're probably gone by now. ( beeps )oh look, you're calling me. hello? this is bad. what? what happened? i overslept.
sam, the meeting's not till 10:00. you'll be fine. oh, i fear success.why do i fear success? what are you talking about? i went out last night trying tofuck up my life and it worked. wait, before we get to you,can you come early tonight? i'm convinced no one'sgoing to show. you're wrong,but i'll get there early. when? first thing.
oh, i fucked this up bad. i'm so fucked. sam, breathe for me. take deep breaths. whew. good.now listen to me. it's going to go amazing.because you know why? why? because it has to.
you're the voice of our generation. that's a lot of pressure. sorry. okay, i'll see you tonight. ( folk rock music playing ) ♪ do i believe in this ♪ ♪ or is this the only wayto get around in my life? ♪ ♪ do i deserve this? ♪ ♪ no, you deservemuch better ♪
♪ in your life ♪ ♪ thinking of you,thinking of you ♪ ♪ so what can i dowhen i'm thinking of you? ♪ ♪ no no, you deservemuch better in your life ♪ ♪ thinking of you? ♪ woman: stop. i said stop. man: stopping 14th street. next stop 23rd. stand clear of the closing doors.
( sniffles ) it's okay.we'll just, um-- it'll be okay. uh, hey. this-- this kid got separatedfrom his mom on the train. so? so? i gotta--what do i do? well, take him to the policestation-- 21st and third. thanks. come on.let's go. let's go.
( police sirens wailing ) hey, what are you doing?they're going to help you. i gotta leave you here, dude. i don't know whatelse to do with you. fuck!don't swear. do you know your address? come on, dude, help me out.i am so late. what's your name?my name's sam. look, i-- i know it's not goodto talk to strangers,
but i'm clearly a goodcitizen or something. i'm trying to help you. subway's two blocks that way. good luck. ( elevator dings )( phone rings ) woman: smith-crowley. hi. i am ridiculously late for my meetingwith paul gertmanian. your name?
sam wexler. just take a seat. ( phone rings ) smith-crowley. hey, um, when i go in there, would you mindkeeping an eye on him? what's his name? ask him.he likes to chat. paul: susan speaks very highly of you. she told me, "the one thingabout sam is he's always on time
for an important meeting." ( chuckles ) well... no, this is--this is tightly paced. it's funny. engaging charactersthat sound like real people. it's... but-- how to put this? your protagonist alan--
alex. right. i don't know if you wantpeople to love this guy or hate this guy. he's kind of ambitious. he's kind of mature. he's kind of just kind of.novels are tricky, sam. susan says your short stories are wonderful. but it seems to us that you haven't entirely adapted to the longer form.
the novel requires a differentkind of commitment than the short story. excuse me for one second. ( huffs ) hey hey!where are you going? ( thuds ) ah. question: who is he? he's just, uh-- just a kid.
thanks for coming in. ( elevator beeps ) receptionist: bye, rasheen. bye. rasheen: where are we going? toy store. yes! kidding. we're getting you back homeand out of my hair.
you're not my responsibility. dude, come on. ( sighs ) not cool, dude.not cool. hey, can we stop running?i'm almost 30. so look, you're obviouslyhaving some family issues. but whatever.it's childhood. it ends. don't look at me like that.you fucked-- you screwed up a very important meetingfor me back there.
i think i've beenmore than accommodating. now come on.we gotta get you home. your mom's probablyworried sick about you. she's not my mom. that woman on the train--that wasn't your mom? were those your brothersand sisters? so-- where's your mom? were you-- what's going on?were you living with that woman? like in foster care?
come on. i'm thirsty. yeah, i know. i'm taking you to the placewith the best water in the city. stay here. come here.come on. good. look cute. cuter. come on. there, that's it.
hey!sorry, that was loud. didn't mean to scr-- are you guys open? no, not yet. can, uh, he geta glass of water? yeah sure. so who's this? he's my little brother. not my actual brother.
i'm his big brother like-- like big brother, big sisterkind of thing, you know? that's great. good for you. yeah yeah. good deeds.good deeds. it's nice to know there arestill good men in the world. they're hard to find. that's what flannery said,right? so, uh, what's your name?
mississippi. that's your real name? it's what everyone calls me. i'm assuming it's alsowhere you're from? yes, sir. wow, what are the oddsof that, right? ( both laugh ) so great.you're-- you're here a lot? sadly, yes.
okay, that's enough.say thank you for the water. thank you for the water. oh, look at that. you're welcome. great, so we're going to--we gotta... ( clicks tongue ) but-- come on.it was great meeting you. i'll come back hereand, you know, drink your alcoholat some point.
that'd be nice. great. i'm sam. hi, sam. ( folk music playing ) you hungry? yeah. all right. let's get a little snack.
then we'll get you back home. ♪ hobos and tacosand broken down hondas... ♪ why can't i stay here? you can't stay here. why not? because you can't. why can't i? because i said so. i wanna stay here.
you've made that very clear. please? no. i really wanna stay here. ahh. we'll have fun. i can't hear you. please? ♪ palm trees, exposed knees,i punched mickey rourke ♪
♪ but i miss new york. ♪ ( car horn honks ) let's go. ( muffled music playing ) look at the time. oh, early meaning late. i am so sorry. i forgive you.get in here. wait, this is rasheen.
oh. okay. hi, rasheen. i'm annie. hi. you'll explain later? oh, how was the meeting? okay, we'll talk.go get drunk. none for the kid. man: hey, sam. hey, what's up?
hey. can i have a cookie? dude, it's a party. you can have, like,10 cookies. go crazy. hi. what the fuck? come on. child. rasheen, this is my cousinmary catherine.
we're not really cousins.parents-- best friends. look, he's riveted. what's going on? i'm just-- you know, i'm looking after himfor a while. and you thought,i know what kids love-- alopecia awareness parties. kind of.how are you? horrible.
nice. where's charlie? he's in la.he's back tomorrow. i like that charlie. so do i.i'm a mess without him. this is fishy. why do you havea small child with you, sam? we're going to mingle.it was great to see you. i'm calling you tomorrow. annie: okay, i promise this won't take long. it's actually justan excuse to get drunk
with the people that i love. so as a littleextra dash of fun, whenever anyone says-- oh i don't know--"follicle," we could all drink. ( laughter )follicle! ( all cheering ) okay, now the first thing most people noticeabout me is that i am--
hot. man: whoo! yes! that is correct. i am superhot. i am also, in additionto being super drunk, hairless. and unlike some of the hotgay men here, i do not wax. i have a very awesomeautoimmune disorder that we're all goingto learn about right now. the word "alopecia""comes from the greek--
( cell phone ringing )( people giggling ) uh, could everyone pleaseturn off their cell phones? i'm really sorry. annie: what? i am so so so sorry. what? that is so rude. ( thumps )( laughter ) i need a drink.follicle. crowd: whoo!
charlie: oh my god, baby, i wish you were herewith me right now. i got dave's jeepand i'm driving on the pch and the sun is about to set. it is fucking unbelievable! how's dave doing? dave is amazing! you know i haven'tencountered a single mosquito since i've been here?
it's like a no-mosquito zone. they're outlawed or something. charlie, come home right now.i miss you. huh? oh, baby,you're breaking up. charlie? charlie? annie: no, one more fun fact. wait, is everyone having fun? crowd: yeah! whoo! ...how much things cost. every time.
hey, thanks. bye. thanks for coming. great party. both: mwah! i never noticedyou didn't have hair. really?i never mentioned it? no. love you. love you too.
♪ remind me againjust what you were saying ♪ ♪ when you walked in the roomwhen the music was playing ♪ ♪ when i was lost too ♪ ♪ but in my own thoughtsand i could not find you ♪ ♪ tell me your story,i'm listening this time ♪ ♪ i can get ussome glasses... ♪ thanks. ♪ and a bottle of wine ♪ ♪ we can sit on the carpet ♪
♪ sit on the tableor sit on the moon ♪ ♪ you can reach for my hand,you can say what you like ♪ ♪ or just what you can't stand ♪ ♪ be a boy ora little old man...♪ ♪ be what you want,even nothing...♪ say cheese. ( camera shutter clicks ) ah.( laughs ) don't worry.i'll destroy that. here, let me try this.
( grunts )there. did you have a rough night? i got a question. um... why aren'twe better friends? um, i wasn't awarewe were friends. oh, i-- i think we wouldget along really well. well... my best friend's nameis sam, sam. i mean, seriously,how many sams
can a girl have in her life? well, you can call me sam 2. ( laughs )sounds like a sequel. ( dramatic voice )in a world of sams, sam 2 is so much better. oh, that was cheesy.may i? help me out withsomething here, sam #2. you work in legal, right? yes, i do. yes.
seventh floor. mm-hmm. why are you alwayslurking around down here? oh, come on, everybody knowsthe party's on five. philanthropic giving!whoohoo! ( laughing ) oh god. oh. can you--
( camera shutter clicks ) oh, that's good.that was a good one. one--( camera shutter clicks ) got it. ( giggles ) oh my god. sorry.here, sit. listen, they're goingto deal with you, get you back homeor wherever. if they ask any questions,
um, just tell them you've beenwalking around or something. you know, don't--don't mention my name. i don't want to getin any trouble. it was nice meeting you. ( faucet running ) so dave thinks he's going to getthis thing off the ground. mary catherine: that's great. he was the happiesti've seen him in a long time. ( faucet stops )la seems to agree with him.
yeah? he says he doesn'tmiss new york at all. i knew he'd bail. he was always waytoo much of a wimp to stay here forever. do you want to knowwhat i want? hmm? an omelet. oh, wait.i'm just curious.
why do you hatelos angeles so much? because it's the epicenterof all that is awful. wait. feed me. dave told me this awesome thingabout la. no, listen. he says the whole townis like this blank canvas, and whatever you bring to it--that's what it is. it's just this randomcollection of neighborhoods where it's always sunny
and it basically reflectswherever you're at back at you. so if you're happy,la is great. if you're not, la sucks. but it has nothing to dowith los angeles because-- get this-- there's no such thing. and? and that's it. if you don't feed me soon,i'm going to eat your face.
okay, what's going on? dave said what? he wants to partnerwith me, 50/50. but... we'd have to be out there. when? end of the month. and you want to do it? what i'm missing, i think,is a great subject.
like-- like the novel,that which is new, you know? where's my--what do i draw upon? i don't know. exactly. i mean my great shameas a writer is that i'm justthis suburban kid with good parents. you know,i was fed, clothed, carpooled--hardly dickensian.
you know what i'm saying? totally. i mean you--with your situation-- ( clicks tongue )that's a gold mine. you got, like,tons of material all at the ripe old ageof whatever. how old are you anyway? you don't knowhow old you are? when's your birthday?
what are you so afraid of? i'm afraid my brainis going to melt. i'm afraid we will neverwalk anywhere ever again. i'm afraid we won't careabout things anymore except openingweekend grosses and pilates classes. yeah, but you know they'd be, like, the bestpilates classes. there's no art there.
that's ridiculous. they have no culture. new york has everything-- the best restaurants,best theater, museums-- right, and how many museumsdo you go to in an average week? i'm just curious. that is not the point. yes, that is the point. not the point.
i mean, what good is payingout the nose to live here if we nevertake advantage of it? we might as welllive somewhere else and just visitevery once in a while and actually do things. you know, hit the met,take in a broadway show, carnegie deli. wow, that's a reallybig sandwich. i don't knowif i can eat all that.
i love new york. you're miserable more than not. yes, but that is notnew york's fault. new york is... what? ...home. you're asking meto leave home. you know this is my job, don't you? i have to sit hereand write things.
it's-- it's not easywith you staring at me. sorry i don't have a television. what's your thing?what do you like? you like art, huh?you like to draw? really? here, draw yourselfa television. ♪ so i have under two minutesto sing you this song ♪ ♪ it's quitethe challenge actually ♪ ♪ because i've loved youso long ♪
♪ and i knowi'm always writing ♪ ♪ so you thinki'm good with words ♪ ♪ but i can hardly expresshow i feel ♪ ♪ 'cause words aren't whylove is real ♪ ♪ and i don't know whyi love you, i just do ♪ ♪ there was a messagein a bottle ♪ ♪ at the bottom of the sea ♪ ♪ somebody mistook rockfor paper accidenta-dentally ♪ ♪ so their letter never made itto the lover they adore ♪
♪ i had to fish itfrom the ocean floor ♪ ♪ and i know youwon't believe me, ♪ ♪ but i swear to god it's true ♪ ♪ the letter said"i love you," ♪ ♪ but i don't know why i do ♪ ♪ that's exactlywhen it hit me, ♪ ♪ that's exactly how i feel ♪ ♪ 'cause thoughmy love is real... ♪ sam: amazing, right?
annie: are you sure you don't like these just because they're a lot of pictures of you? but i do lookincredibly handsome in this one. look at me. i'm like a dashingrussian aristocrat. annie: oh. annie: what do you think was going on? i don't know.something bad.
he says he won't go back. well, he's super cute.i say we keep him. i'm kidding.we can't keep him. sam, don't keep him. i'm not keeping him. calm down. sorry about the ball. it's all i got. ( cell phone ringing ) hello?
okay. no, it's not like i didn'tsee this one coming. so that's the last of them,huh? no, i'm, uh-- i'm fine. thanks. ( leaves rustle ) did you knowthat my three most financiallysuccessful years in new york citywere when i was dealing pot? you don't need daveor some crappy town
to do something great. i believe in you. 'cause you're my man. you're my big, funny,floppy-haired man. we don't need to knoweverything in advance, okay? you'll figure out your thingand we'll have money eventually. that's how it works. no, not here. not always.
i just want to feellike the crap i put myself through is... woman: no no, yeah, i did. i called him yesterday. i'm just tired. both: oh. so i'm-- i'm generally nota happy hour kind of guy, but i thoughtyou might like-- oh, uh, yeah sorry.i can't. it's a school night.
oh, yeah. okay, bye. oh. two ships, two ships. hey, beth. ( cell phone chimes ) ( door opens, closes ) ( rock music playing ) what do you mean? why did you wantto see me so bad?
i just-- does there haveto be a reason? i still... whatever.it's just been a while. have a drink with me.please? she hated me. not true. she didn't hate you. she just thoughtyou needed a haircut. yeah well, i couldn't havebeen nicer to that woman.
i-- i brought her flowers.i even tucked my shirt in. wow, shocking thatthat didn't win her over. nothing would have. i'm her daughter. she didn't want me to get hurt. but i guess in fairness,you know, she was wrong about you. oh no, wait.she was totally right. mothers are always right.
i fuckin' hate that. i can handle your motherhating me. i can't stand the thoughtthat you hate me. you're back. a man of my word. sam. m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i? very good. how's your little brother?
who? the kid? oh, good. yeah yeah yeah yeah.he's good. well, it's great that you do that. you know, you're--you're really good at your job. am i? yeah, i've been-- i've been watching youdo your thing.
you're good. wow. i must be a really good actress because i fucking hate my job. you're an actress? what do you dowhen you're not here? i sing. sing? songs? yeah, songs. cabaret.
ah. what do you do? i write. words? yeah, words. so you sing.are you-- you any good? well, you come listenand then tell me. no, i-- i could nevercome hear you sing. why not?
because i like you. that makes no sense. you happy to see me? i don't know yet. ( annie laughs ) i have to work in the morning. some people work. hey, i work. playing bass in a shitty band
and considering applying to grad school is not a job. you think the band is shitty? well, you were front rowat every show. i was your girlfriend. that, like, contractuallyobligated me to be a groupie. yeah, but you always-- you just looked like you wereenjoying yourself, that's all. i was. i did.
all right, let's do this.tell me things. when, mississippi,did you leave mississippi and come to new york city? when i was 17. oh great. so you've been here,what, two years? aw, nice. ooh wait,where's your accent? oh, it's here...
( southern accent )when i need it. drink this.( glass thuds ) yes, ma'am.cheers. mm! what the fuck, man? why won't you comehear me sing? you really want to know? because i once datedthis girl in college who desperately wantedto be an actress.
i mean it was allshe talked about. and i finally wentto see her in this play. bad? so unburdened with talentit was amazing. i mean i hadto break up with her. because she wasa bad actress? no, i didn't careif she was good or not. it was--she so believed she was good and it made me feel like,
wow, this girl doesn'tknow herself at all. and i think you're terrific.i do. therefore, i could nevercome hear you sing because it'll change everythingif i learn you can't. what if i'm amazing? what if you aren't? what if you suck as a writer? i don't. whoa, you are bad news.
sammy, i'm calling youbecause you're my sponsor and i'm about to falloff the wagon. it happens, right?don't be mad. okay, i'm going to takeyour not picking up to mean that the universe wants meto fuck up badly right now. i'll call you tomorrowand confess. fuck! what's wrong? i got bad news today.
what? i'm a fuckin' failure. aw. fuck, i was impressive once. i'm telling you, parent-teacher conferencesback in the day-- i was unstoppable. little sammy wexler. i'll bet you were.
yeah. it's okay to notsay anything, right? i always want to--i always want to talk. i don't always haveto be talking. you gotta stop mebecause i'm just gonna keep-- i'm just gonna keep going.i don't know how those things-- shh. ( laughing ) ( both moaning )
this way. come. wait wait, shh! listen, there might bea small black child sleeping on my couch,so we have to be quiet. might? there's definitelya small black child shh shh! look look,it's my bedroom. how nice is it in here?
amazing. hey. what? i'm not goingto sleep with you. sure you are. no, i can't. come on, that's defeatist. you can do anythingyou set your mind to. ( laughing )ow! shh!
the children. does he stay with you a lot? well, occasionally. you know, rough home life. sam, i'm serious.i'm not going to sleep with you. ( groans ) does this have somethingto do with jesus? is that what this is? i made a new year'sresolution.
to what? to not be such a whore. how's that beengoing for you? well-- no no no no,i barely know you. all i know isyou've got all these sort of idiotic theories,okay? i'm not going to spendthe night with you. okay, fine. i don't--
i don't think you should spendthe night with me either. you don't? i think you should spendthe next three nights with me. i'm serious! stay with me.three days. i've got an extra set of keys.you come and go as you please. i knew that last shotwas a bad idea. what? come on.this will be awesome. look, i totally agree--one-night stands are the worst.
so you want to havea three-night stand? yeah. what is this,like your line or something? you've said thatto other girls before! i've never eventhought this before, but it's totally genius,isn't it? no, it's likethe worst idea ever. hey hey hey, you stay herefor three days. who knows what could happen?
we sleep together once--let's be honest, the odds are i'm nevergonna call you. you just said that out loud. come on. come on! no way. move in with mefor three days. my mother warned meabout guys like you. seriously.it'll be an adventure, huh? we'll cook.
we'll make obsceneamounts of love. we'll play with the adorablekid on the couch out there in the living room. is this for real? we just met. isn't it going to be awkward? this is-- you're not goingto want me here for three days. yes, i will. i do.i wouldn't be asking youif i didn't. yeah, now you dobecause you're drunk.
are you going to be drunkfor three days? possibly. you're crazy. you're going to move inwith me for three days. what are you doing?what are you doing? making it official. paperwork. terms.( pen scratching ) i don't get to weighin on the terms? ( pen scratching )
okay, fine.what are your terms? if i'm going to stay herewith you for three days i need you to be nice. but i'm going to need youto be naked. sam... i've been feelinga little fragile these days. sign it. ♪ by the time you getthe postcard ♪ ♪ i'll say i didn't meanthe things i said ♪
♪ the time you wannatouch me ♪ ♪ i'll say i didn't really readthe books i said i read ♪ ♪ go ahead, ring the doorbell,i'll answer the door ♪ ♪ but what doyou wanna talk... ♪ ( door slams ) ♪ to me... ♪( mary catherine vomiting ) ♪ 40 hours agoi was feelin' one way ♪ ♪ now i'm feeling another ♪ ♪ is there supposed to beone thing to latch onto? ♪
♪ i'm feelin' echo and bluesilhouettes upon my shoe ♪ ♪ of the personi once really knew...♪ we should do this againsometime. you think? yeah, like a lot. yeah, 'cause that alwaysworks out great. ira, why wouldi torture myself? come here. i have to go.
you can be 45 secondslate for work. you're worried you're goingto get hurt, right? but aren't we past all that?we're great together. we should just... it's a bad idea. look... i'm kind of seeing someone which i--i think makes this safe because we can'tget too into it,
which was the problemlast time. but we're not exclusive, so you and i can still,you know, whatever. ann. always making me the bad guy. ( crying ) 5206? sam: 5208. damn it.
i thought i hadanother set of keys. are you working tonight? i'm singing. oh great. where? i go on at 10:00. what time are you done? okay, great. so, um, i gottaget some keys made and i'll call you after.
sam: hey. did that girl leave? yeah. did she say anything? nope. you like french toast? yeah? all right, let's make some.come on. we'll get allkramer v. kramer.
you okay? ( voice breaks )yeah, totally. can i, uh-- can i--can i do anything for you? ( sniffles )nope. weren't you wearingthat yesterday? please go away. sure, yeah. ugh! he's a fucking 29-year-old 12-year-old. that's what he is.that's all i meet.
if there's a 29-year-old12-year-old within 100' of me, i will find that motherfuckerand i will sleep with him. it's my one gift. and they never call.they just text-- all of them! hey, what's going on?i haven't seen you in a while. you wanna come over and fuck?well, fuck you! i'm so sick of optimism. it's fucking exhausting.
listen. why do you give a shit whatpeople like ira think of you? ira--( spits ) you should give a shit whatpeople like me think of you. and i think you're oneof the greats. i always have. everyone who loves youthinks that, okay? okay, are you listening to me? i love you, sam.
i love you too. now get out there and... oh. and get 'em. ...philanthropic give. that was an upliftinglunch hour. we're dealing withthe kid thing tonight. this is getting ridiculous. hey, ann. you don't have tokeep it together all the time.
yeah, the world willlove a bald girl who can't stop crying. you know, i'm not crazyabout that shirt. i'm your boyfriend. that makes me down.i don't want to be down. it's not about you. who else are you dating? it's just nothing.who cares? yeah well, what about the onethat says "i love nerds"?
i do love nerds. well, it makes me feel weird. well, chuck, if you find the "my man's a hot stud"t-shirt," christmas is right aroundthe corner. i just don't know whatyou're trying to announce, that's all. ( charlie laughs ) that's perfect.
are you going to throw a jacketdown over that or what? grumpy. okay, this-- awesome. and you know the clash? dude, you don't knowthe clash? i have so muchto teach you. ( cell phone vibrating ) ( exhales ) ( vibrating stops )
hi, sam.it's mississippi. remember me?the girl from last night? um, just wanted to remind youi go on at 10:00 tonight. i-- i promise not to suck. no pressure. i never heard from youabout the keys, so-- i don't know.i'll see you later, i guess. okay, bye. ♪ what are you so afraid of? ♪
♪ why are you feeling scared? ♪ ♪ what's the worstthat's gonna happen? ♪ ♪ standing in the moonlight ♪ ♪ i can tell you feel doomedthough nothing is wrong ♪ ♪ no, nothing ♪ ♪ you say maybe a cranewill fall from the sky ♪ ♪ maybe a dove will dive ♪ ♪ and die before your eye ♪ ♪ it's too early to say ♪
♪ it's too earlyto say good night ♪ ♪ good night ♪ ♪ it's too early to read ♪ ♪ it's too early to readby the firelight ♪ ♪ standing in the meadowwith sunlight in your eye ♪ ♪ and a senseof so much sorrow ♪ ♪ you say maybe a planewill fall from the sky ♪ ♪ maybe a lover will lie ♪ ♪ it's too early to readby the firelight. ♪
( vocalizing ) i'm here. i can see that. i don't knowwhy exactly. you didn't wantto get sued. right? so i just had a little talkwith rasheen. i asked about you beinghis big brother. he had no ideawhat i was talking about.
okay. okay, wait. he said you met on the subway. what the fuck is going on? hold-- hold-- hold--hold on. hold on. just wait. who is he? why is he here? he got separated from his--he had nowhere else to go. how old is he? he doesn't know either.
and-- oh my god,do you like little boys? what? no! he's-- he'sin foster care, okay? he's been in sevenfoster homes in his life. i-- i think somethingwas going on. why didn't you goto the police? i did! look, i-- i realizei'm in some trouble here, but i don't knowwhat else to do.
i'm just--i'm letting him stay here until i can figuresomething out. how long has he been here? three, four days. you find a child on the subwayand you think you can just-- just keep him here without letting anyoneknow where he is? that's-- and you left him here
while you were outthe other night. no, he was fine.i-- i put on some leonard cohen. he just knocked him right out. i have the worst taste in men. ( glass breaks ) hold on.i have some, uh... it's okay, honey. hey, um, can you-- i'm not good with blood.
congratulations, sam. you've just become the mostunattractive man in the world. hey. hey hey hey. you're really leaving? i'm not a babysitter. he's totally mellow. you-- i was talking about you. you have to let someoneknow where he is. i will.
today. he's-- he's a child. i can't get involvedwith this right now, sam. i'm trying to get my life together, not fuck it up more. look, i'm sorrythat i lied to you. i'm a good person. i'm trying to dothe right thing here.
you're going totake care of him? for now, until i can-- you're a mess. what, you don'tneed a project? i'm a mess too. trust me. so let's-- let's clean each other up. bye, sam.
( sighs )sam. sam: come home soon. ( laughs ) are you crazy? why is he still with you? i'm helping him. well, i talkedto my friend jill, who's a social worker, and accordingto new york state law,
you've kidnapped him. are you okay?do you miss your family? is he feeding you? what are you eating? don't answer that. look, i get that this iskiller material for a novel. sensitive white guylearns life lessons by taking in small black-- you actuallythink that i'm--
are you writing about him,sam? this is a big deal. you can't just keep him.he's not a goldfish. you need to let someoneknow where he is. look at these. i'm anxious to seewhat will happen if i give him more thantwo pens and a highlighter. please fix this.your mom would be so upset. and then she's goingto call my mom
and my mom'sgoing to call me, and i don'thave the energy. it's okay.i'm on it, i promise. i think you're good. hey, rasheen,say thank you. thank you. come on, let's go. hey, sam. yep?
you've spent timein los angeles. do you like it? it's okay. would you ever wantto live there? no. okay. go. people shouldn't be ableto give him so much shit. the man's made some of the bestmovies of all time. he just makestoo many of them.
one every year?why not one every other year? take some time offto recharge, spend a little quality timewith the wife-slash-daughter. get out there, live a little, you know? marry me. let's get married. be my wife. i'm serious.let's do it.
i'm sorry.you're asking me to marry you? yes. you want to marry me? marriage. i'm not buying it. there's somethingoff about this. wait, what areyou talking about? did you--did this just occur to you, like, 60 seconds ago?
"let's get married" i've been giving ita lot of thought and i think we should do it. uh-huh.you got a, you know, ring? well, i will. i mean you will... get one. i didn't know you'd bea stickler for protocol. come on, mary catherine, we're not those people.
just say yes. if we're not those people,why even get married? we make funof married people. and didn't i tell you,like, first thing i didn't think i shouldever get married? that i come from a long line... you come from a long line... both: ...of divorced people. that's right.
i'm not genetically wired for itand you said you felt the same. so why this?why now? love. huh. you really want out,don't you? so i'm trying to let goof the whole idea of-- i don't know-- that we have to pay for our joywith sorrow or tragedy, that there has to besome sort of karmic balance.
but it sure feels that way.you know what i mean? mm, absolutely. you're really smart. i do this thing-- i can't believei'm telling you this. oh, come on, come on,come on. anytime you want anembarrassing story about me, just let me know.i have tons-- tons. okay, um...
about a year ago,i was in this cab and the cab driver,this indian guy, started telling me-- he started telling meall sorts of stuff. he-- he was just looking at mein the rearview mirror and he said, "bliss--bliss is your birthright." and i was like,uh, 45th and madison? ( laughs ) and he said, "you have greatpotential in this lifetime.
the key to your lifeis gratitude. you do not giveenough thanks. and i said,"well, how do i do that?" and he said,"simple. say thank you." and i said, "well, when?" and he said,"all the time. right now." and he said afteri say "thank you," i should say "more please." wait. "thank you.more please"?
that with gratitude the universeis eternally abundant. so i've been givinggratitude a shot. thank you.more please. how crazy am i sounding here? oh, no no no no no. no, not at all.not at all. have-- have you noticeda difference? no? i mean yes,but whatever.
anyway, what got youinto photography? oh, i wouldn't-- i wouldn'tcall it photography. what would you call it? well, taking pictures,i guess. well, why doyou take pictures? um, i don't know. when i-- when i see somethingi like looking at, i-- i get to keep looking at it. you shouldn't be flatteredthat i came back.
it's a bad sign. the men i fall forare horrible and cruel. and if i'm here,you must be one of them. i like having you here. well, that's nice. for the recordi still don't trust you. you should trust me. why should i? because someone has to.
there was--there was one time when i was in the--in the second grade and we all got thesepictures of santa claus that, you know,were left empty and blank and we were supposed to,you know, color them in. and so i colored santa'sclothes the way i wanted and my teacher, mrs. porter,she was just-- ugh, she was just thismiserable, miserable woman. she grabbed my paperoff my desk
and she held it upto the class and she said, samuel here coloredsanta's pants blue. and we all know thatsanta's pants are red. and she ripped up the paper, gave me a new oneand made me start over. mrs. porter! i know. so i ran homescreaming and crying. i told my parentswhat happened.
and my dad-- my dad came toschool with me in the morning. he barged intothe teachers' lounge and he started screamingat mrs. porter, "who says santa's pantshave to be red?!" yes! go, dad! right? that was awesome. that was awesome. and that was like a--from that point on, that was like a battle cryin my house, you know.
( high-pitched )who says santa's pantshave to be red? yeah, who says? i know. i know. i know. so that was awesome.but that's my pop. what about your dad?how's-- what's he like? uh, he's great. he's great? yeah, he's the best. mm.
this is me. ooh. this was nice. no, thank you. more please? right. i'll see you at work. see ya. see ya.
dude. this is really good. sam? you're my best friend. thanks, man. you're mine too. so how can i help you? well, i have some questionsabout foster care. okay. uh...
well, i might be interestedin taking someone in or on or whatever. okay. are you married? job? yeah. well, freelance. but i should tell you i don't really know how any of this works, but i'm interestedin taking someone in who's been in foster care.
he's been staying with meand i think the situationhe was in wasn't great. wait, you have thischild with you now? a child who was in foster carein the state of new york? yeah, but he-- and he's living with you, yet you're nothis legal guardian? why is that? and where is thischild right now
while you're sitting heretalking to me? no no no no. no. i'm sorry. i'm a writer and i just-- you know, i-- i hadsome questions about the whole deal. mr. wexler,is this your current address? i'm sorry, there's been--it's fine. thank you for your time.
mr. wexler? he looks like he should bemaking balloon animals at birthday parties. why do i have to bewith balloon animal guy? you don't haveto do anything. you just-- he sounds great,that's all. i want you to be happy. and his name's sam.come on, that's a strong name. and this coming from the guywho likes his girls
with belly button ringsand the lower back tattoos... that is outrageous! ...spending half their lives doing spinning classes. and i'm sure alabamais a homely fat girl with a kickin' personality. whatever.red states. sammy, you said you were going to dealwith the kid thing yesterday.
everyone's getting worried. i know. i'm-- i will. it's-- sam: oh, hey. um, mississippi, annie.annie, the famous mississippi. and i'm not famous? shut up. it's so nice to meet you. you too.
so, uh, you're frommississippi? yep. what's that like?don't answer that. i'm just talkingand this is me leaving. okay. bye. bye. ( mouthing words ) oh, hey. hi.
i didn't see you sit down. yeah, hi. mary catherine: do you remember what you said to me the first night we kissed? charlie: no. i was wearing this littleblack cocktail dress. it was way too fancyfor the bar we were at, but i thoughti could pull it off. you know, like,oh, this little number?
just threw this on.no big deal. you came and met us. i was all excited to see you. and you sat downnext to me at the table. you reallydon't remember this? you looked at the dressand you said, where are you going, prom? no, it was perfect because finallyhere he was--
the guy who wouldn't let meget away with anything. i always thought of that asthe moment you came into focus. like, oh, there you were. and now... it's like you're out of focusall of a sudden, ever since you got back--just fainter and fainter to me. and i'm... just sad to see you go,that's all. i don't knowif i'm going to go.
yes, you do. make sure you get therekind of early. i'm going to tryand reserve you a table, but it gets kind of crowded and i don't wantyou to have to stand. so get there kind of early. we're gonna getthere kind of early. okay. are you sure you knowwhere you're going? uh, the city's on a grid,so yeah, we'll figure it out.
i'm so excited.i'm kind of excited. i'm totally excited. we are too. all right, bye. see you tonight.break a leg thing. what do we sayif she's terrible? tell her she looked pretty. that's a great idea,my friend. we're going to do that.
( police siren chirps,car approaches ) officer: sam wexler? what-- what's--um, what's going on? you have the rightto remain silent. anything you say canand will be used against you in a court of law. what's going on? you have the rightto an attorney. all right,what's going to happen--
what's going to happento the kid? okay okay. rasheen,it's going to be fine. he didn't do anything bad. ( siren wailing ) i want you to readlots of books, okay? i don't want youto ever stop drawing. just-- just keep doing it,okay? promise me. i promise.
and i'll come to oneof your art shows in 20 years and i won't be able to affordanything, but you'll, like-- you'll, like, sketch somethingon a napkin for me and that'll bemy retirement fund, okay? sam? sam. ♪ one and oneis through, you know ♪ ♪ the lily grew ♪ ♪ between the snow...♪ ♪ i thought you knewthe lily grew ♪
♪ i thought you knew,i thought you know ♪ ♪ under cover we read plays ♪ ♪ moliã¨re,those were the days ♪ ♪ robespierre,the reign of terror ♪ ♪ no underwear,no wonder we're afraid ♪ ♪ my love, what gives? ♪ mary catherine: i don't want to make you stay here with me if you want out. i want you to be happy, even if i'm miserable.
i am not going to be the personwho ruins your life and shackles you to a cityor a woman you don't want. oh god. oh god,this feels so awful, like some sort ofgrand manipulation when it should bea happy thing maybe. but i'm totally freaked out and i don't knowwho else to tell and you're my best friend... okay okay. shh shh.
...in the whole world and-- hey hey. shh. will you breathe? please please. ( gasping ) ( deep breaths ) good. that's good.sit down. now tell mewhat is going on.
i can't. i'm afraid of what will happenwhen it hits the air. you can say anything to me. you threw a vase at my headthree years ago and i stuck around,didn't i? you ducked. fuck yeah, i ducked.i have great reflexes. that's what i'm saying.i can take it. whisper it to me.
i will livewherever you want. i'll move to la. i'll stay in new york. we can move to los angeles. we can move to iceland. fuck it.let's move to poland. beirut! i don't care. ( kisses ) did you get my message?
i got 12 of them.were there more? look, i-- i don't knowwhat else to say. i don't care thatyou weren't there, sam. well, what-- whatdo you want from me? i want you to go away! you're making me sad, okay?and i want you to leave. you know how longwe knew each other? a week. one week.
i mean we were playing houseand it was fun, but... i'm sorry about rasheen, but what did you expectwas going to happen? i realized the problem. you write short stories and i think you likeliving short stories. but i'm kind of readyfor the novel, you know? sam #2: all right. okay, what are we feeling,red or white?
we need to talk. you mean the talk whereyou tell me how great i am, but you can't get involvedand it's not me, it's you, and you're damagedand you wish you could and-- ( coughs ) i refuse to have that talk. now would you like redor would you like white? look, i-- i'm not--i'm not good for you. are you happy?
no, i'm not happy. i could make you happy. seriously, let me love you. i am totally up to the task. actually,i've already started. i can't-- i can't do this. no no no no. don't-- come on,don't walk out on this beforeit even started.
please. look at me. i get it, okay? i get it. i'm not the guyyou had in mind. but what if you don't knowwhat's best for you? and you do? i believe i do. where did you come from,sam #2?
westchester. do you want to know whyi hang out on the fifth floor? the first time i saw you-- god, i thought, "wow! her-- the girlwith the funny headwrap. i want to benear that girl." trust me, i don'tnormally talk this way, but i am gone over you. stop, okay?shut the fuck up.
why? why? just stop, please.just stop. don't say that. you can hear this. close your eyes. i just want youto listen to me. humor me, please? it's not easyto be adored. you in particular-- you have a tougher timewith it than most.
i get that. but i want youto give it a try. think of it as an experiment. i promise i willbe very wonderful at adoring you, annie. it's an areawhere i think i've got a greatdeal of talent. ( chuckles ) you're worththe adoration annie."
you're worth it. and the fact thatyou don't believe it has nothing to do withwhether it's true or not. it is true for me and that is allthat matters. ♪ i was sleeping in the lilies ♪ ♪ or was i up all night? ♪ ♪ these days it's hard to tell ♪ ♪ what's half-asleepfrom fully alive... ♪
charlie: wexler! ♪ we were lovinglike a landslide ♪ ♪ or were we in a fight? ♪ this writer that i knowonce told me this great thing. he said every five yearshe realizes what an assholehe was five years ago. every five years,like clockwork, he goes, man, i was suchan asshole five years ago. so if we accept this,that means everything
we think and feeland say now in five yearswill just be embarrassing. this conversation? the worst. we're going to hatethis conversation. i hate it now. we're going to hate itin four years. did you play sportswhen you were a kid? you remember"walk it off"?
no matter what happened,right? i mean your eyeball could be, like, hanging outof its socket. coach would run over,scoop you up. eh, you're all right, kid.just walk it off. and i'm sure a fewof those times i was legitimately hurt. but just having this concept--walk it off-- as a way to, i don't know,heal myself-- it worked.
i just walkedthat shit off. i've been feeling latelyi'm maybe more resilient than i had thought. but who knows? maybe i'll feel differentlyin five years. who knows? ( phone rings, beeps ) ( beeps ) all right, i'm guessingyou're there,
but you're sadand you can't be bothered. but i have a taleto tell, samuel, and you need to hear it. so listen up. the scene:dinner with #2. trying to cut him loose.no such luck. so get this. you know how people say beauty's on the inside? well, that's total bullshit.
beauty is on the outside, and i love me some beauty. i mean who doesn't? but here's the crazy thing, sammy boy. i'm listening to sam #2. listening because he made meclose my eyes-- so hot. and he's making a total case for me and him to be an item. and as he's talking, it's like the moleculeson his face must have rearrangedthemselves,
because i open my eyesand suddenly i am in frontof the most beautiful, gorgeous man-- like, a total hottie. and who knew? sammy 2. that rhymes. and you were right, by the way. it is a strong name. so here's whati have to say to you before the damnbeep cuts me off.
sadness be gone. let's be people who deserve to be loved, who are worthy. because we are worthy.we really are. you've been telling me that for years and now i get to spit it back at you. ( annie sighs ) you're a good man, sam wexler. go get yourself loved. that's all i got.
♪ hey, jo jo ♪ ♪ yeah, i know your name... ♪ jill. hey, it's sam wexler. i think mary catherinetold you i'd be calling. ♪ thought i saw youjump the utah train... ♪ they moved himto a different home. ( paper rustling ) ♪ could be as well... ♪ ♪ i cannot tell ♪
♪ oh no, i cannot tell. ♪ okay, this-- this last song-- it's a happy songabout a happy song. it's kind of what i needto hear right now. thanks, y'all. ♪ sing me a happy song ♪ ♪ about robins in spring ♪ ♪ with a happy ending ♪ ♪ some cheerful roundelay ♪
♪ about catching the ring ♪ ♪ sing happy ♪ ♪ sing me a sonnetall about rolling in gold ♪ ♪ some peppy melodyabout rainbows blending ♪ ♪ nothing with phrases sayingyou're out in the cold ♪ ♪ tell me tomorrow's gonna bepeaches and cream ♪ ♪ assure me clouds are linedwith a silver lining ♪ ♪ say how you realizean impossible dream ♪ ♪ no need reminding methat it all fell apart ♪
♪ i need no lyric singingof stormy weather ♪ ♪ there's quite enough around methat's breaking my heart ♪ ♪ sing ♪ ♪ sing a hallelujah ♪ ♪ and get up and shout ♪ ♪ tell me the sun is shiningaround the corner ♪ ♪ whoever's interestedin helping me out ♪ ♪ please keep it happy ♪ ♪ i'm only in the marketfor long, loud laughter ♪
♪ i'll let you serenade metill dawn comes along ♪ ♪ just make it a happy ♪ ♪ keep it a happy song. ♪ ( applause, cheering ) man: bravo! whoo! man: yeah! ♪ i can't rememberwhat is wrong ♪ ♪ well, i've been happy nowfor way too long ♪ ♪ and oh ♪
♪ we got a lot more to go ♪ ♪ i put a trash canby the road ♪ ♪ and filled it upjust to lighten my load ♪ ♪ but oh ♪ ♪ i got nowhere to go ♪ ♪ someone's alone,fell asleep on the phone ♪ ♪ waiting like a dogfor a bone ♪ ♪ and how could it bethat a fish in the sea ♪ ♪ can feel likeit's completely alone? ♪
♪ the world may never know ♪ ♪ the world maynever know ♪ ♪ oh ♪ ♪ i know it hurt you,'cause you cried ♪ ♪ i know it killed you,but nobody died ♪ ♪ the city ain't nothingbut show ♪ ♪ i found a needlein the hay ♪ ♪ i found the sunshineat the end of the day ♪ ♪ i found a pearlin the snow ♪
♪ oh, and how could it bethat a fish in the sea ♪ ♪ the world maynever know. ♪ ♪ it is a dreamthat i will wake from ♪ ♪ there trudy writesthis song ♪ ♪ there's no needfor an escape, ♪ ♪ you've neverbeen here all along ♪ ♪ you were in the caribbean ♪ ♪ i'm in new york now thinkin' ♪ ♪ you say you want me,but you never came to get me ♪
♪ oh, you never got me ♪ ♪ and i hope you don't hauntthese dreams ever again ♪ ♪ and the long walk to never ♪ ♪ surely takes foreverand ever. ♪
