movie trailers hd: We Are What We Are

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man (singing along to stereo):â™ª an old man turned 98 â™ª â™ª he won the lottery â™ª â™ª and he died the next day... â™ª man 2:what the shit is this? why is this onthe get-psyched mix? 'cause i got to throw youa curveball every now and thenor you get bored, and then the mix doesn't haveits intended effect. no, i want to get revved up,and this song's not doing it.

oh, really? i defy you to crushthis chorus and not get psyched. not going to happen. â™ª don't you think? â™ª â™ª it's like rain â™ª â™ª on your wedding day â™ª what is it? â™ª it's a free ride â™ª â™ª when you already paid â™ª â™ª that you already take â™ª

â™ª it's the good advice â™ª help me out! â™ª that you just didn't take â™ª â™ª and who would've thought? â™ª â™ª you figure â™ª â™ª it figures â™ª â™ª mr. play it safe â™ª classic alanis. â™ª was afraid to fly... â™ª

he was afraid. man 2: bring it home. man 1: oh, yeah. man 2:come on, papi. yes! (chuckling) we've got our jam on now. jump to it. man 2: it's been a dry june, and i know it doesn't needto be said out loud,

but we need this sale. i am so confident that we're goingto close this thing that i'm going to orderthe pappy van winkle. i know it's pricey,but i want to spiritually investin our success. i'll tell you what, if youdidn't order the pappy, i'd send your raggedy assback out to the car to listen to the get-psyched mixto get your mind right.

let's go over thestat sheet. hit me. we're selling bob williams.been married 16 years. wife karen, one daughter. you read the first pageof the scouting report. let me hip you to page two. daughter's name is skyler,big into gymnastics. and to hear bob tell it, the kidis aces on the pommel horse. he don't justtell it, old boy. he likes to show itwith pictures.

everyone's searchingfor something. am i right, bob? love. success. but what's the one thingthat no one can get more of? time. (bob laughs) mmm. and you can't fight it. well, you don't have to tell me.i mean, look at my little girl. how old is skylernowadays, bob? just turned nine in may.

nine? isn't that something? she just turned nine. skyler's nine? mmm. good lord. how olddoes that make all of us? don't answer thatquestion, bob. (laughter) let's move on.

i was about...i was about to answer. pretty soon, she's going to beborrowing karen's makeup, and you're going to havetwo beauties on your hands. lock the door.it's coming, bob. double digits. no way. is skyler still giving them hellon that pommel horse? you want to see that photo? if it's not too much trouble.

yeah, let me show you sky, yeah. let's get thoseeyes on skyler. look at her. yeah... yeah,she's really sprouted. yeah, yeah, yeah, skyler'sreally slimming down. and i'll tell you what. gorgeous. she's eatingreally healthy. just mostly fruits and nuts.

her choice. there is no tellingwhat this little girl on a squirrel dietcould end up doing. could she win us the goldand make us proud? you're damn rightshe could. you're damn right. i have a feelingshe's already made you proud. am i right? guilty. guilty, my friend.

oh, guys, it... it goes so fast. oh, it's like a freight traingoing down the track. clickety-clack, clickety-clack.now she's got a boyfriend. oh. guy you like,hopefully. clickety-clack, clickety-clack,she's married. clickety-clack,she's putting you in a home! oh, my god, a home. she would do it, too.

i believe that, too. no, no, she would. only when you don'tremember who she is. i'm kidding! oh, it feels goodto laugh about alzheimer's. you can't control time. no. but... you can manage it. bob...

the chronoshock aught thirteen. carpe diem. these babies will flyoff your shelf. now, i know that you've moved upto having six stores, so you're probablygoing to want to have a little larger orderthan you did last year. you're kidding, right? your... your businesshas... been folded. i'm sorry?

no, no, no, no, bob, there has been some chatter. the last few yearshave been rough. but come on,who hasn't felt the pinch? yeah.they didn't tell you, did they? look... i thought you guysjust wanted to grab dinner for old times' sake,but, uh... yeah.

your company is closed. i hate to be the onetelling you that. honestly, i knowthat i can't buy the watches because your companydoesn't exist anymore, but i wish i could. i mean, that'show good you guys are. one roundof pappy van winkle. enjoy, gentlemen. bob:oh... wow.

that is expensive stuff. you know, bob, uh...do you mind, uh... just going dutch? you don't have to say any more. i got it. i'm doing this.let me do this. i'm saying let's slice the piethree ways, honestly. if you don't mind. no, that-that-that's silly. that's silly.i'm doing really, really...

really well right now,and you guys are not. but, bob, i can... at all. let me do this. but let's just split it.let's go dutch. okay. okay. let's be thethree dutchmen. okay, but this dutchman'sgoing to... going to pay when he canin a couple weeks.

i hope you understand. what the fuck, sammy? what the fuck, me?what the fuck, you? who told youyou could barge into my officewithout an appointment? you closed the company? and then you sendus out on a sale that we really needed and had bob williamsdrop that bomb on us?

bob williams has gota big fucking mouth. yeah, he does. look. you weren't going to getthe sale anyway. nobody wears a watch anymore. they just checktheir goddamn phones. disagree.cite your sources. the kids, maybe, but there's...there's a broader market.

lorraine, what time is it? 10:26. one hip, pioneering secretarydoes not a cultural trend make. she's 75 years old. watches are obsolete,and so are the two of you. hey. obsolete? what does that even mean? it means everything'scomputerized now. it's cheaperfor a machine to tell

these companies what to orderthan a manufacturer's rep. they don't need us anymore. no, people have a deepmistrust of machines. that's right. have you seen terminator? yep. mm-hmm.all of them. or 2 or 3 or 4? people want to deal withpeople, not terminators. people hate people.

times have changed. that's so negative. luckily, i saw this coming,cashed out my retirement, bought a condo in miami beach,new tits for the wife. silicone. it's legal again. wow. saline's out? yeah, me and the old lady are going to be tucked awayreal nice.

yeah, great for you, huh? perfect. so, uh, that's it, right? but what about us, sammy? (sammy sighs) you two were great salesmen--the best-- but at the end of the day,you're grinders, foot soldiers. we all knowyou'll never be generals. and i'm going to saysomething harsh now.

now you're going to saysomething harsh? strap it in, boys, 'cause itain't pretty out there. and you two are dinosaurs. face it. where you're going...you've already been. i thank you for your service. (sighs)what are we going to do? i don't know. but i got to worryabout the now.

i don't know what the helli'm going to say to megan. (over stereo):â™ª it's like rain... â™ª no. let it play. for the love of god,let it play. â™ª it's a free ridewhen you've already paid â™ª go. â™ª it's the good advicethat you... â™ª man 1:come on, megan, listen to me. honey, let's talk about this.

is this becausei'm too unselfish in bed? because i can change it around. i'm not going to sayit's going to be easy, but i can do it.megan, listen to me. honey, it's always darkestbefore the dawn. no, billy, it's not. it's actually darkestin the middle of the night. we have enough on the table herewithout arguing about proverbs. look, i knew thingsweren't great,

but to come hometo a foreclosure sign? can we hug it for a second?can i touch it? no. no, please. okay, listen.that could've been avoided if the bob williams dealdidn't go so bad on me. you blew the bob williams deal? well, it's not so much that i blew the dealas much as the company just decided to shut downand take our jobs away.

what? come on, listen to me,sweetheart. i promise you,i can pay for all of this. it's not aboutthe money, billy. this is about you, okay? you-you talk a big game, but younever do anything about it. it's like you say that we'regoing to go to spain, but have i everbeen to barcelona? "barthelona."

ugh. and not yet,but we're going. vaya con dios, mi amor. porque esta bravo en barthelona y fantã¡stico. no, we are not goingto "barthelona," okay? we have discussed goingto barthelona, but we are never goingto go to barthelona. not with an attitudelike that, we're not.

oh, god. billy: wait, do youeven hear yourself? yes. i'm glad that you gotto say some of that, because we're in arelationship, and i'm just glad that we're bothcommitted to it. no... do you know how badlyi want to believe that, billy? because i've been with youfor a long time, and nothing ever seemsto get better.

honey, you were... you're such a great guy,but you always figure out a way to screw things upand let people down. and, billy, i love you, but i'm really tiredof being let down. (door opens and closes) (cheering and applause) woman:that's terrible, nicky. are you okay?

i should have gone on my ownwhen i had the chance. i was so stupid. i was... nicky, you didthe right thing. always got a paycheck,played it smart. dad would have been proud. well, what would hehave been proud of? i didn't play it smart.i played it safe. and look where i am now. proud?

you're at your nephew'slittle league game. now, cheer up. okay. come on. all right, tate! all right,here we go, tate. put some wood on it. he's a great kid. i keep telling you you'dmake a terrific father.

yep, you do keeptelling me that. unfortunately, it wouldrequire you having a relationship that lastedlonger than three months. i'm not sure itwould require that. let me call kevin. jeanie... i'm sure your boyfriend'sa great guy, but i'm not readyto work for someone who spent allof last thanksgiving

explaining the meaningof his tattoo. be reasonable, nicky. take the job. what else are yougoing to do? man:that's it. just takethe walk, eagle eye. walk's as good as a hit.come on. what is this guy saying?bullshit. nick. nick! a walk's not as good as a hit.it's not as good

nick! as a double or a triple. it's not as goodas a dinger. go on, takea big cut, tate. (spectators protesting) get off the field. what are you doing? you call him eagle eyeto get him not to swing? come on, he's 12 years old.

he's got the restof his life to take a walk. how about you take a walk,pal, and get off my field? just stop calling himeagle eye, okay? oh, i'm going tocall him eagle eye. oh, no, you're not. yes, i am. you're eagle eye,you piece of... no, i'm not. huh?

(crowd shouting) (grunting): get off me! (grunting) nick:go ahead, tate. swing! i'm okay! i'm okay. play ball! come on, tate! swing big! read moneyball, asshole. walks are as good as hits.

(nick sighs) just when you think your day couldn't get any worse,it got worse. billy:i feel like my day bent me over, put a ballin my mouth and fucked me bad. is it just me, or does life looka lot like those hillbillies from deliverance right now? it's got me overby the tree there, just told me i hada pretty mouth.

you over, squealing like apig on all fours. "whee!" i'm looking, "wh-where's burtreynolds with the crossbow?" he's not coming. we're there,it's gonna happen. you're gonna get raped. you know what it is? i feel like life's inside of me,just working, just pushing,just going all after it. and then, all of a sudden,life pulls out.

but he's gonna scurry upthe pillow. boom, just explodesright in my fucking mouth. how are you? nick:hey. a cute kid. how old is she? she's a boy. billy:still very attractive. you know,without pink or blue, it's hard to tell,but the features are great.

maybe... maybe put himin some modeling. that's what they're going for-- that right-down-the-middlething. it's like, how manydifferent ways do we have to say,"i give up," say "uncle," say "mercy" before life stopswailing away on us? i mean, we aregetting pounded. you know, i feel likeour whole generation are sheep

that's been solda bad bill of goods. like, we were told, you know,go to college, get good grades. well, you didn'tgo to college. i'm saying,in theory, in concept, our generation was toldthat you go to college, you get a job, you...you get a mortgage, and, you know,here we did everything the way wewere supposed to, and what do weget for it?

where's our thanks?nothing. i think i'm going to callkevin about that job. kevin? thanksgiving tattoo? we're not that low,are we, nick? â™ª â™ª (typing) (sighs) okay. show me one littlesomething here.

what are you going to do, billy?come on, billy. (sighs) (chuckles)there he is. nickrophiliac! hey. (chuckles) how you been? good. just working away. yeah. i see that.

don't slag offon the corners. the corners areso important. all right. 'cause we got people trackingshit in here all the time. and i mean, like,literally dog shit. jesus. wow, i should'veworn some gloves. i said i should've wornsome gloves. gloves aren'tgonna help you.

you don't wantprotector duty? 'cause i got anotherplace i can put you: out on the curb,twirling the big arrow. does that sound good? hot sun beatingdown on you? i've lost three of thoseguys to skin cancer. we call that curb"the widow maker." i don't want to go outto the widow maker. okay?

how do you think you'd fare outthere with that alabaster skin? well, i-i don't know. i'll tell you. you'd be dead in a year. it felt like you... whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa. jeggings. jeggings, 5:00. where?

right there. i'd like to play aroundin that rumpus room. you know what i mean? have you done the back door yet? do what? back door. back-door action. "knock-knock." back door. "it's me."

"with my penis." a life changer. it is a life changer! you vip your wayinto that back alley, you don't even think aboutthe main entrance anymore. you know what i mean by"the main entrance"? we're talking dickinto the vagina. kevin, this isan awkward conversation. why?

because you're going outwith my sister! oh, yeah. well, don't-don'tthink we didn't go through a period of adjustment. adjustment? can you gentlemen help me? yes, ma'am. nick isone of our best. in fact, hisentire family knows their wayaround a mattress. get it.

what are...? get it done. my question is about memory foam versus standard. specifically as it relatesto lumbar support. (sighs)what? lumbar support. i'm-- okay, i'm sorry. hi, great choicein mattress.

why don't you go aheadand, uh, lie down there. let's try to work our waythrough this conundrum, uh, because what i thinkyou're asking is... oh, man. uh, billy, i'm witha customer, thank you. sure. pardon me, ma'am, yeah,just maybe start off on this. yeah. just lay it down. yeah, come herefor a second.

(whispering): hey, whatare you doing here? listen, i got it. i've seen the future,and it's beautiful for us. okay, i don't knowwhat you got, but i got a job here,and i don't want to lose it. now, can we talkabout this later? no, we can't talkabout it later. the future doesn't know later. what are you...?

all the future is,is later. that's literallywhat the future is. it's later. what are you talking about? google. google? the place is amazing. they got nap pods,they got massage rooms, they got a volleyball court.

they got the whole nine. it's ranked as the greatestplace to work at in america. yeah, i know.it's a technology company-- a field we knowjack squat about. look-it, google needs us. and google wants us. they do? you sweet son of a bitch. you got us a job at google?

well, it's not actually a job. what do you mean,not an actual job? well, it's an interviewfor an internship that has a better-than-not chanceof materializing into a job. billy, now you'remaking me very angry. you want me to leave my jobto go for an interview, not for a jobbut for an internship that may or may notlead to a job? nick, aren't you tired of askingfor just enough to get by?

i want to do somethingthat matters. i want to have a life that i'mexcited about and that's great. nick, i want usto go to california. and i want us to getthese jobs at google. i'm going to speakto a manager. terrific. i think he's rightover there in the corner. let's roll it on overonto the stomach. he'll be very helpful. okay, what we'regonna do here

is get a little supportfor the hips. so here comes... imagine apillow, right like there, okay? oh. uh-huh. and what we're gonna dois separate the feet, create a little heat dispersion. excuse me! now, so we have... is there somethingi can help you with, ma'am?! what?!

i'm trying to buy a mattress. unbelievable! listen, our interviewis in one hour. now, nick, this might bethe last chance that we got. how's it going, gossip girls?cw just called; you're canceled. excuse me? look, i know you're peddling him a bunch of crap,just like the crap merchandise you two used to shill.

so, listen up, marfan syndrome. marfansism. big man's disease. the giant killer. you. me and youare the same height. we're not the same height.we're not the same height. i'm handsome tall. you're the type of tall whereyou walk through the airport,

people stop what they're eatingand look at you. you're like a freak. now, nick,you have a customer waiting. nick... we haveour future waiting. nick, you know what that says? no, i don't read sanskrit. "make reasonable choices." that's an odd thingto get tattooed on your neck. just get back to work!

god! i'm sorryyou had to see that, ma'am. now, let's getback to you and talk pelvicventilation. kevin! you know, you've been saying some insulting thingsto me all day. i'm taking the shirt off. because i don't know what happensto a dream deferred.

does it dry up likea raisin in the sun? or does it explode? i don't want to find out. you just made the worst mistakeof your life, my friend. hey, hey-hey-hey-hey,yeah, hey! you take the shirt off,it doesn't go back on, okay? there's not asecond chance! see you in hell! so we're meeting ourinterviewer in here?

no, not in here.we're meeting him in here. it's a hangout. this is how peopledo it now, nicky-- they have their interviewson the internet. i like it. now, it says herethat the internship is only for collegestudents, so... guess who's way ahead of you. that's why i enrolled usat the university of phoenix.

that proud online institution. go, fighting phoenixes. nice. wait, you put my majordown as physics? why-why would you putmy major down as... i don't know shitabout physics. physics scares me. these guys paint the cornerof the plate with their pitches. they're not gonna comestraight down the middle

and ask you about physics;it's too obvious. i took it off the table. good. hide in plain sight. (clears throat) but you put you down forsales? as your major? well, 'cause i'm a talker. i figure i shouldprobably dazzle. i want you to-- you know,i've thought about this. i just figure, like, hideyour vacancy and let me dazzle.

okay, dazzle. girl: are you done yet? there's a 15-minute limit. i'm sorry, you know what? the big boys are gonna needthe computer a little longer, but maybe we can make thisa win-win for you. get yourself a soda pop. give her some money, yeah.here you go. yeah, just go putsome sugar in your body.

enjoy it. what a cute kid. i'm no child, but, billy... okay, here they are. now, when i hit this, they'll beable to see us, so come on in, get in there close so wecan be seen on the webcam. see how small the webcam is? they can see us... no, get cheek to cheek.nick, come here, cheek to cheek.

okay, but don't crowd me.you're crowding me right now. nick, get cheek to cheek.will you get your cheek... buddy, they can't see us. i understand that.here we go. go cheek to cheek.just go like i tell you. okay. don't yell in my... put your fucking cheeknext to mine. yes, yes, i get it. we can see you guys.

okay, great! good! you got us? (shouting):hi! my name is billy! uh, we can hear youfine as well. oh, great. um... good. billy mcmahon. nick campbell. i'm benjamin.

allison. we're thirsty, too. okay, slow it downthere, camper. i'm not an atm. i got a job interview here. thank you. we'll be back. (chuckling): okay, easy. are you in a library?

you know, we're ina program here called... we are. there's some beautifullittle kids here. yeah, kids.helping kids program-- one of the things we'reinvolved in-- where we take suburban kids and we teach themwhat it's like to be homeless. oh, what's it called? oh, it's-it's called, uh... attitude adjustment.

and that's where we are today.we're helping the kids. and-and to be honest with you,we did the interview here because we wantedto help out, and also we don't have webcamsfor our computer. if you don't havea webcam on your computer, what type of computer do youuse for your coding ability? coding ability? uh, yeah. uh, under computer skills,you put "c-plus-plus."

that's actually a c-plus. what's that? well, the second plus is to reflect my attitudeof how i felt about the c-plus. but it's a c-plus. it was a typing class. you know, same principle, just not the engineinside the baby there. but it was more like"quick brown fox."

you know, put your handsin the basin, and crushing it like that. but that h-helped me outa lot when i, as i started my journeyinto computers because i already knewwhere to put my hands, clearly. okay, if we could focus onthis now-- you are currently enrolled at the universityof phoenix online? indeed, yes, we are. damn right we are.

it's, uh, the oldest institution of itskind, and as such, many people refer to it as theharvard of internet colleges. oh! i hadn'theard that actually. i... no. that-that has notmade it out here, that reputation. well, we're phoenix proud. we're phoenix proud.

well, that's fine. um, we're gonna ask youa few questions that some of our candidatesfind a little bit odd. let's get weird! no judgment. shoot. you're shrunken downto the size of nickels and dropped to thebottom of a blender. what do you do? i-is there anythingelse in the blender?

uh, i don't know. well, that's gonnamake a difference. are there ice cubesto climb on? are we working witha daiquiri here? are we throwinga little rum in? are we making a smoothie? it's been a long week. maybe we want to let theselittle guys live a little. okay, for the sake of theargument, let's say it's empty.

well, in that case,it's easy, then. if we're shrunk downto the size of a nickel and there'sno liquid in the blender, we go aheadand put it on our backs. so you take her flaton your back like this. right, right, right. you justlay back, enjoy that breeze. lay stiff as a board,light as a feather. pretend it's a fan. okay, once is...

and let those blades just whip all aroundyou like this. (both making blender noises) it's like getting an mri. (whispers):dazzle, dazzle. once this blender's on,it's on forever. it's on. forever. respectfully,i got to disagree. we sold blenders, and eventhe best model in the world

is only gonna run nonstopfor, what, billy? even the germans,the germans could never... yeah. even thegerman model. even one of those braun ones,they're only gonna run nonstop maybe ten or 11 hours.so we're getting out, and when we do,we're better off for it, because whatever doesn'tkill you makes you stronger. but let's just go ahead and big-picture thisfor a second, if i can.

just like thefounders of google. big-picture googling. it's not so muchgetting out of the blender; it's what happens next. that's the question. you've got two nickel-sizedmen free in the world. think of the possibilities. i mean, i-i-- off the top of my head,and i'm just spitballing here.

my head's swimming. sunglass repair? yeah, yeah... we'd be hell onthose little screws. or maybe you stick us inthose submarines that they put in people's bodiesto fight diseases. that's cutting-edgeright there. okay, you-- that's-that'snot a real thing, the submarines.

wait a minute. i thought we werestuck in a blender. now we're saving lives?what?! uh, what? let me just recap thisfor you real quick. we started offin a blend... now we're saving lives! what? what? wait a minute!

we were stuckin a blender... what a journey! ...and now we saving lives?! you guys led us to this. i think we've gottena little far afield. just a little off topic. ally, i'll get inside youand i'll fight for you. uh, thank you.i-i appreciate that, but... which one of you...which one of you is physics?

allison:mr. campbell? you could maybe expoundon this from a physics aspect. physics.(sighs) here, here... listen, the--i-i could bend your ear about physics and variousphysical phenomenon, but the truth is,we were in a blender. we lost our jobs,we'd given up. so i think we alreadyanswered the question

when we tookthis interview. we got ourselves out,and here we are. if you guys really want to knowwhat happens when you take two guys out of a blender--i'm sorry, allison, is it? allison:yes. then give us a shot. and i think you'd behappy that you did. so, who is our next applicant? ah, our two daiquiri men.

so, what are wethinking... dana? eleanor? mmm, they seem likereally nice guys, but i-i don'tthink so. okay. moving on. oh, can i say something? you can. you will. we will resent youfor wasting our time, but please don't let thatstop you.

it's just, diversity isin our dna, right? i thought the goal here was to find people with adifferent way of thinking. there's plenty of people witha different way of thinking. it doesn't meanthat we have to hire them. very good point, dana.moving on. i'm sorry, but you readtheir rã©sumã©s, right? they have more years of sales and life experience

than the ageof most of our interns. not to mention,our final judgment is always based onthe layover test, right? who would you ratherbe stuck next to at an airport barfor a six-hour delay? the ten millionth kidwho knows that if you shrink, your strength-to-weight ratio allows you to jumpway higher? duh. or the out-of-the-box thinkers

who turned beingstuck in a blender into an advantage? â™ª tell me how you feel â™ª â™ª what's your fantasy, oh? â™ª â™ª i see us on a beachdown in mexico â™ª â™ª you can put your feet up,be my seã±orita â™ª â™ª we ain't got to rush,just take it slow â™ª â™ª you'll be in the high life,soaking up the sunlight â™ª â™ª anything you want,it's yours â™ª

â™ª i'll have you living lifelike you should â™ª â™ª you say you neverhad it so good... â™ª so it begins. here we go. place is incredible. where do we check in? let's ask somebody here. oh, excuse me! i'm sorry, excuse me, do you...

billy? it's scary because it's new. let's go check in. head towards thosebig, big letters there. what's up, family? â™ª girl, tell me how you feel â™ª (bicycle bell dinging) â™ª i'll have you living life â™ª what's your last name?

â™ª like you should â™ª â™ª you say you neverhad it so good â™ª â™ª na na-na na-na na-na â™ª â™ª na na na â™ª â™ª you never had it so good â™ª â™ª na na-na na â™ª â™ª you never had it so good... â™ª picture the greatestamusement park you've ever been to as a kid.

now imagine a placenothing like it and a million times better. that's where we are. i'm gonna grab us a coffee. you check us in. morning. hi. what's the damage here? nothing.

for the-- for these? free. these are complimentary? complimentary. free. whatever you want. what you're just sayingis if i-- whatever i walk awaywith here... it's free. ...doesn't-- yeah.

you can have bananas. i probably should, only becauseit's a great way to st-- this is the most importantmeal of the day. take two. they're free. no, i know, but formy day, i need it. what about these--the bagels and all that? yeah, it's free.anything you want. if you're insisting,twist my arm. i'll have a couple of them.

like four-four of them. four? well, just whatever it is. what about five of them? free, too. well, why don't you go aheadand make it seven, then? if you want to whip upsome of the other drinks. do you have a to-go cup,like, a guzzler? do you have, like,a rednek guzzler with a straw?

excuse me. pardon me. yes? do you know what, uh,launch this was from? sorry. uh, i have a meeting. oh, no, no,i don't want to hold you. i was just... i-i was just curious. was this thingactually in space? if only there weresome web page you could go to.

right?where you could just type things inand search for answers. ah. yes, thatwould be nice. uh, oops. intern. dana simms. late. yep, and i'm late, too. i got to rush off. and it's spaceshipone. first privatemanned spaceflight.

winner of the x prize. (makes explosion noise) oh, my god,are those your dads? seriously, same-sex partnersmake excellent parents. i so wish my parents were gay. when did 20 startto look like 12? man: yes, of coursei'll work my hardest. mom, how can i workharder than my hardest? that's physicallyimpossible...

okay, okay, i-i will. yes, i love you... mom. billy mcmahon, billy mcmahon. nice to meet you. oh, i'm gonna grabsome food over here. you okay? get something.i'm good. you all right if i leave you? this stuff looks good, huh?

little pick-me-up. excuse me. sir. graham hawtrey. i'm so thrilledto be here. oh, me, too. feels kind of likethe first day of spring trainingfor little league here. (both laugh) i got to tell you, i feel likei got a few more clicks

on the old odometerthan most of you kids here. well, honestly,that's why i came over here. i said to myself,"graham, there's a man "with some life experience. probably teach youa thing or two." oh, you got to meetmy friend, nicky. you'll love him. nicky! nickelodeon!come over here! come over.

come meet this guy, graham. he's in the internshipprogram with me and you. hey. how you doing? you're interns? shut up! deal with it. shut the fuck up. but you're so old, though. whoa. excuse me?

oh, my god, i feel terrible!i feel so stupid. no, don't be. we're excited. no, it's fine. no, i feel terrible.i feel terrible. no. for what? i just, you know, um...i thought you were important. oh, shit. i've got to find some peoplewho actually matter, but good luck!

wh-why did you bring me overto introduce me to this guy? it's like he wasyour best friend. you introduced meto hitler. well, he seemed likehe was sweet at first. my name is roger chetty. and i am headof the google intern program. welcome to google. this will not beyour average internship. oh, no.

you will do what we do. and we will watchhow well you do it. now, you representthe finest schools. your intelligence,your achievement is well noted, but to excel at this internship, you're going to needfar more than brainpower. what you're going to needis googliness. nothing funny. googliness.

the intangible stuffthat made a search engine into an engine for change. now, you will bedivided into teams, and by the end of the summer, only one team will be guaranteeda full-time position. the other 95% of you will not. now, you've been split upinto several seminars to acquaint youwith our campus and culture. seminar descriptions have beene-mailed to each of you.

i would wish you luck,but it's not luck that you need. get to work! well, this ain'tgonna be about getting coffeeand running errands for people. no, no. we're looking at some sortof mental hunger games against a bunch of genius kidsfor just a handful of jobs. that's why we gotto nail this thing. this is ouropening statement.

if it please the court. oh, it pleasesthe court, counselor. billy: okay, workplace seminar. still a few seats left. first impression time, baby. bingo! okay, we can dogood in this. we have to do... shazam!

so close yet so far, boys. whoa! graham, graham,we were here first. you know what? you're right. you guys could usethe advantage. go ahead. what's thatsupposed to mean? it means that in a worldof excellence, old and unexceptionalqualifies as diversity.

so you know what?go ahead. what's that saying? "age before beauty"? you're welcome, william. you know, there's alwayssome joker who likes to play fuck-around. i guess that'sgonna be you, graham. all right, at least we know.game on. good luck, boys.

now, i recognize that googleis not a conventional workplace. having said that,we have rules. i'm going to ask youa series of questions. you are going to raisethe green paddle to indicate "yes"and the red paddle to indicate "no." so, let's begin. "having a beerwith your boss." some of you are under 21.

some of usaren't under 21, so... if you want to graba cold one with me, i'm happy to do that with you. i will not be grabbinga cold one with you. you get high? i don't get high. i'm not judging;i'm just saying, people do it. that being said,if you want

something cold to drink,we'll hook you up. i'm okay. thank you; juststop talking to me. i'm your bill holdenin stalag 17. i don't even... i reallydon't get that reference. google it. got it. "dating a fellow intern." this is google,

not match.com. chetty, excuse me.what about a full-time employee? say, management level,but not a direct supervisor. great eyes, and a severity to her look that is surprisingly sexy. what's the policyon that? no? that's frowned upon also? so we'll say no to love?

we'll say no to love, yes. that's gonna be a no. now, "taking food homefrom the office." billy:boom. are you havingdifficulty with this, mr. mcmahon? i'm sorry. just to drill down on this,what if it's,

like, a perishable?like, say there was a pudding or somethingthat was left out. you'd like to take homea pudding, would you? i wouldn't mind taking homea pudding; i don't... i don't knowwho wouldn't. oh, yeah. but that being said,i'm just saying if it's gonna go bad, is that okayto take-take it home? mm-hmm.

mm-hmm. anything elseyou'd like to take home? only if there was, let's say,salsa or chips. you know,something that's not wrapped. salsa, chips and pudding. or sushi. salsa, chips, pudding and sushi. anything else? ice cream. salsa, chips, pudding,sushi and ice cream.

pizza. salsa, chips, pudding, sushi, ice cream and pizza. i wouldn't take homea frozen pizza, but if there was a nice pie that was out... oh, boy. i am truly impressed,mr. mcmahon. at the both of you.

at how quickly you haveconfirmed my doubts about you. now, let's try this one more time. "taking food homefrom the office." very good. ladies and gentlemen,that is all. well, i'm notgonna dress it up. today didn't go well. it certainly wasn'tthe first impression

we were looking for. but here's the deal. tomorrow isthe pick teams day, right? which makes itall the more important for us to fall inwith a strong team. if we can surround ourselves with the right groupof these little geniuses, we still got a shot here. nicky,

we can coattail this bitch. you're right, and by the way,there's no shame in that. there's no shame in being the 12th manat the end of the bench who's never gettingin the game, but he's got a lotof enthusiasm. right. he's waving the towel, he's doling out high fivesduring time-outs.

exactly. because i'll tell youabout that guy. when the team winsthe championship, he still gets a ring. damn right he does. so we got to bethat awkward seven-footer from lithuania. i love your spirit. look, i love you like a brother,

but i can't havethose cold clams brushing up against mein the bed here at night. keep me up all night. okay, suit yourself. i'm gonna give you the bed;i'll take her tomorrow. can you hit that light, pocahontas? tomorrow's a new day. man: welcome to day two. i am sid, eighth-year googler.

you guys are new googlers; thus you're... nooglers. now, this place is all aboutcommunity and collaboration. so you'll beworking in teams from here on out. all right. you have five minutes. pick your teams. you, on me. oh, now, be picky, okay?

play hard to get. don't be desperate;just be cool, okay? this is everything. are you still lookingfor someone? i could beyour teammate. college, major, s.a.t. score? um, harvard,computer science, 2390. fine. on me, fatface. uh, my name's zach, not...

you? university of... my name'snot fat... hello, stanford.you're coming with me. nick: the universityof phoenix online. sort of consideredthe harvard of the west. billy: why don't weall be a team? why don't we all be a team? (quietly): why don't weall be a team?

can i just get...oh, please don't touch me. please,you-you're touching me. blondie, you're coming with me on accountof your physical appearance. does anyone want to...want to be on a team with me? super fun. really smart, but also very fun. i was voted "most likely tosucceed" in my chess club. (exhales)

um, mr. chetty? i don't have a group. you'll mentorthe leftovers. which, it would seem,would include your two charity cases. off you go. (quietly):go. yo, billy and nick? nice, there they are.

nice to meet you.i'm lyle, one of the teammanagers. pound me. oh, normally,just putting the-the fist out without the wordsis all that's necessary. come on, bro, fist me;get up in there. yeah,that's definitely not right. i-i'm sorry,you said you were a-a manager? how old are you? i'm 23, but no worries, fellas.

i'm an old soul. yeah, that's great. um, yeah, well,the thing about it is, pal, is that, um, we don't have a...well, we have two-- me and... me and nick-- but we don't havethe rest of our team. we didn't... but we figured... correction:you didn't have a team, but you got one now, son.

'cause i got afew outliers. buh-bam, ker-plash, zshaw! and we about to get it all goodup in this hood, right? outliers? outliers, 'cause i just droppeda little g-well on you. 'cause malcolm's my dog,malcolm's my dog. what you say...malcolm's my dog. (chuckles) outliers, you know,from 10,000 hours? look, let's geta team meeting going, everybody!

come on, team meet time. nick? wonder twinpowers activate! what other options do we have? lyle: let's go,everybody! come on, you're with me!you're with me. uh... (exhales) my team,corner pocket. all right, let's get somemeet and greet going

up in this heezy. i'm lyle,and it's pretty much wysiwyg-- "what you see is what you get." i've been here at the googfor four years, working on seven projies en este momento. wow, seven projects? hey, they ask, and i do's it. what can i say,i'm a people pleaser,

especially the ladies. my mercedes. so it's all goodin lyle's hood, you heard? man:uh, yeah, is lyle always gonna be referring to himselfin the third person? 'cause if he is, i might wantto punch lyle in the face. lyle:okay, tough but fair. good note. lyle's still a little nervous.shh...

uh, first-time manager;lyle's a first-time... i'm gonna stop doing that.i'm gonna cut it out. keep it to firstand second person. who's next? my name is yo-yo santos. yo-yo, how about a high five? whoa. yo-yo, easy, buddy.i come in peace. nick:geez, yo-yo,did you get

beat up a lot in school? i was homeschooled by my mom. billy:did you get beat up a lot in homeschool? discipline is a veryimportant part of growth. but my motherwas actually a very nurturing person. for example, sheprovided me selflessly with the milkof her bosom

until i wasseven years old. so it's like, uh, you're tying your shoe,you're climbing trees, you're blowing up fireworks,and then you're right on mom. you got mouth on mom. breast-feeding leadsto a higher iq. nick: actually,the science isn't quite definitive on that. i was bottle-fed.

it never slowed me down. vitamins are vitamins, whether they comefrom a teat or a baba. wrong. sorry, what was that? the teat or baba thing,it's wrong. i just googled it,so you're wrong. oh, yeah, i'm stuart. nick:well, it's a pleasure

to meet you, stu.you know, you can't trust everything you readon the... the journal of the american medical association? sounds pretty trustworthy. it says that breast milk has more nutrients and that those nutrients are more easilydigested and absorbed. your confusionis understandable, though.

you were bottle-fed. he's right. that's right. whoa, guys, where's all this hostilitycoming from? where do you thinkit's coming from, you big tree? two fifthsof our team are made up of two old guyswho don't know shit. okay, guys, i, for one, am very happy to have

two strapping, maturegentlemen on the team. oh, uh, i'm neha patel,and oh, my god, you guys would makethe best luke and han. oh, star wars cosplay. cosplay? costume play. you know, where people dress up as their favorite animeor movie character?

i'd be slave girl leia. yeah, metal bikini top,metal g-string panty, high-heel leather boots. of course,i'm chained at the neck. not too constricted, but just enough to make things interesting. the neck constriction'sinteresting? yeah, a few of us

get together and... whatever happens, happens. but work-wise, yeah, um, your skillsaren't really relevant here or really in this millennium,so stay out of our way. we're gonna do this shiton our own. nick: well, i'mloving this friction. you know why? because that'show you get a fire started. i'm nick;this is my pal, billy,

and despitewhat you may think, uh, we're herelike the rest of you, just running down a dream. team lyle! no, okay, we'll workshop that. it's in beta. okeydoke. our translate lectureis in 15 minutes. translate is about givingeveryone access

to every word ever written, no matter what languageit was written in, because when the entireworld can see, read and find the rest ofthe world's cool stuff, good things start happening. billy: lyle, you laying-in-the-weedsson of a bitch. you're hot forteacher, my man. i took her dance classhere once,

but she doesn't even knowi exist. what are youtalking about? "doesn't know you exist"? come on, you're communicatingwith her right here. what's this thing? oh, no, this is justthe company intranet. it's got infoon every google employee like birthdays, trivia,meeting calendars, everything. really?

hmm. oh, hey, fancy seeing you here. is it? or maybe you calendar-stalked meand you knew exactly where i was gonna be right now. now, am i detectinga bit of an accent? you are. uh-huh,i have a very good ear. english, right? 'ello, guvna.

oliver twist, "more bread, please, sir." australian, actually. really?similar flags, though. hey, dana. kiwi. lord of the rings country. okay, the stainon this one's better, but the white onemay be a goner. okay, thanks.

i eat very fast. bangers and mash. that's also british. vegemite sandwich, then, which i'm sure yougobble down very quickly so you can getback to the grind. i mean, it is impressivestaying at work till midnight every day--also on the calendar. look, nick,

i'm sure you're very popular with the 19-year-oldsat the university of phoenix, with your southern drawl,and the blond hair, and this whole thingyou got going on, but i got to tell you,this is just never gonna happen. "this"? what? i mean, it's... oh, no, no, no, no, no. this is me reaching outas an intern.

they've encouraged us to approach experienced googlers and just pick their brains. oh, oh, i'm sorry. (chuckles)of course. you thought i was just... "oh, who's this wankerjust steaming in?" you just want to learn.you want to learn. well, look, sid here,he's incredible.

he's about to give a talkon html5. nick is desperateto learn. he'd love to come along. let's make it happen. yeah, sure. okay, well... come on down, brother. sometimes we goall day, all night. well, i can't start any soonerthan right now.

let's do it. cool, let's rock. come on, everybody;here we go. now, wait, where are you going? oh, i have a meeting. but you know that. cheerio. (quietly):cheerio. sid:let's go.

come on, don't be shy. you have a crush on her,my friend. chetty: good morning, interns. today marks the first of several challenges through which your teamwill show their merits. while internally dogfoodinga new product, a number of googlers reported a bug that disabled their audio. all two million lines

of that codeare in the source files. your job: find the bug. okay, we should checkthe user reports. yo-yo: scan the logsfor any red flags. stuart:see what exceptionswere thrown. lyle: i always startby drawing up strategies to sift through the code. code, right?code, right? codes. right?

uh... so at the end of theday, we're looking to kind of break thepassword here, right? maybe the answer'sin the question. maybe it'ssomething with bug. eureka. bug like fly. the fly. is chetty a cinephile? goldblum.

goldblum! boggles my mindthat no one has a notebook out. you guys are focusedon writing this gibberish. maybe that's helpful,maybe it's not, but i guarantee youwhat we're saying is helpful. guys, we're looking fora bug, not a password. they're different things. keep goingwith that human connection. oh, geez,you know what?

you had it. that's not positive!you're either in... go, go. stay positive,stay positive. stay positive,stay positive. okay. go, go, go, go. we'll go on fly,'cause that's where we're at, and we're flying it;we're right there. fly, fly. i know we'rebuzzing around it.

i like that. zzz, y-l-f. and it's a word scramble,and it's life. for some reason, i can'tget "fly" out of my mind, and now i'm going lopez,jennifer lopez. is it a fly girl? "superfly." pop fly? uh, excavation. earthquakes, california.

that's it! write that down! where? where? do it, do it, writeit down, type it in. what am i doing? would you please stop? no, we're working. no, we're working. yeah, and that's a sharpie,by the way, genius. that's my fault.

go ahead and wash that. look, guys, i'm sorry,but you're not helping. you're just sayinga lot of words really fast that mean nothing. to find the bug, we needto scan the user logs and review the code until wefind the programmer's mistake. it's the only way. except what if it's notthe only way? okay, you saidthat someone programmed it.

that means some person in this buildingwrote that code. a human being. let's just give him a nameand call him tony. tony. let's say tony likes kayaking. kayak. all of a sudden,me and nick become friends with tony; we're throwinga few beers back.

we're doing a little kayakingwith my main man, tony. tony's bombed onthe open water. next thing you know, we start gabbingabout audio bugs. yeah, i actually thinkit's a great idea. good, great! finally! dark and stormy, feeling us. yeah, no,feeling you big-time, buddy.

terrific. you know what, in fact,why don't the two of you guys right nowgo and find the programmer. nick:great. great idea. yo-yo, who's our man? his name is charles xavier. charles xavier. perfect. nick, write this down. steel trap.

uh, he's a professor. at stanford. yeah, just a fewminutes away, really. guys... and he's in a wheelchair. got it, stanford, wheelchair. what else? uh, oh, he's bald. might be with his best friendwho wears a metal helmet.

wears a fitted suit. he looks like a geneticist. more, more, more, more.go on, hit us, hit us. has a british accent. british? with my ear,we're done. okay, keep searching;think fly, think bug. i promise you, somehow, this intersects with goldblum. billy!

let's get a move on. goldblum, of course. neha: all right,back to work, guys. man:hey, professor, what up! professor charles xavier? very funny. british.listen, professor xavier, sorry to bother you. if we couldjust talk to you for... gentlemen,i don't have time for his.

billy:okay, professor xavier, we know that it's you, and listen,we really need your help. all right, you-you found me out. i am charles xavier, and that's cyclops, and rogue. we're all here. now, come closer.

i want to share some of my telekinetic wisdomwith you. well, i want you to sharewith me, 'cause i want to knowabout these bugs. (groaning) assholes! oh, you maniacal monster! professor xavieris a total dick! lyle: yo to the yo.

where are we at on ensuringit wasn't a networking issue? confirmed therewas no packet lost. almost done checkingon whether the encryption had the wrong certificate. i'm sorry, "almost"? uh, you're either doneor you're not. you can't be almost pregnant. yeah, hey,she would know, guys. you know what, why don't yougoogle "asshole," asshole?

yo-yo: she's right.it's not good enough. get it together, yo-yo. what the fuck was that? i was punishing myselffor my inferior performance. stuart:well, that's good. that's great.we got crazy over here and crazy horny over here. oh, let me guess. big dick 'cause...little dick?

did your mind just immediately goto a penis joke? is that, like, all you... was that not witty enoughfor you? because i'm too busy working. no, yeah, that's fine.i just want you to acknowledge the fact thati'm winning the quip-off. that's what you're worriedabout right now? yes, that's reallywhat i'm worried about.

so you're more concernedwith snarky banter than actually winning? woman: the deadline's atthe end of the week, so... hey, hey. you guys find professor xavier? yeah, we found him. yeah, thanksso much for that. that's, uh... really greatteam spirit.

mind sliding over here? yo-yo:i'm sorry. it really doesn't look likethere's enough room for you. have a great lunch. yeah, enjoy it. billy (sighing):okay, let's see here. (sighs)let's see. see anything? oh, there's an opening.

is that taken? okay. woman: it's taken. let's go over here. hi, headphones.you mind if we sit here? nick:i think wecan take that as a "yes." we're gonna have toat this point. how you doing, bud? he doesn't evenknow we exist.

he's like some kindof a superhero on this computer. look at him;he's just crushing his thing and kicking ass. do you rememberwhat it felt like to be that good at something? look at this! william. nicholas. person i don't know.

figured i'd find youat the cool kids' table. it's like a confederacyof outcasts out here. heard you hada day trip to, uh, palo alto? home of silicon valley andalso the x-men, apparently. where are you goingwith this, graham? oh, i just wantedto let you guys know, we won the bug challenge. what are you gonna doabout it, boys?

i wouldn't worry if i was youabout what we're gonna do or what we're not gonna do;we're gonna be just fine. you're gonna be fine?all right. keep telling yourself that. see you all-starsat the intramural fields for the next challengei'll win. sports. somethingwe know about, baby. something we knowa lot about, baby. come on, now.

look at me. for real. (cheering, whistling) all right, teams,welcome to the quidditch pitch. let's have a good,clean match, nooglers. (whistle blows) (crowd cheering) fatty, don't touch the ball. okay, rules. the beaters tossthe bludgers at the chasers

before they can get the quafflethrough the three rings. no blagging, no blatching,no bumphing, no haversacking. i don't want to seeany quaffle-pocking. no imperius curses,no confundus charms. in the unlikely eventof a dementor attack, use a patronus charm. i recommend the stag,but that's a personal decision. lyle, lyle, lyle,these beautiful idiots have no ideawhat you're talking about.

use your muggle words.come on. come on, lyle,you're making me feel like i'm back inmath class, okay? you got a couple savants herewith eye-hand coordination. just say "game on"and let us play. fair enough; version 2.0. peg them with the kick balls before they throw the volleyball through the hoop.

brooms in, people. hufflepuff on three. one, two, three... all:hufflepuff! yeah, son! yeah, let's get it. all right, game time. let's get huff-tarded in here. no mercy! no mercy!

tips down! blue team, ready? ready! red team, ready? bangarang! brooms up! (bellowing) graham:ball! all right, slam it!

(bellows) yeah! sid:ten points blue. nick:billy, billy,talk to me! what do i do? what are we doing? how do i do it? it's chaos! woman:come on, you got it.

billy, i'm lost. just hit them, hit them! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,what's happening? lyle! (grunts) what the hell was that? why don't you try looking upand giving a shit, man? (mockingly muttering) come on! i can't take this! what am isupposed... come get me.

who do i hit? lyle: no, no! come get hit. who wants to fight? i want somebodyto hit! get the broombetween the legs, folks. my bad. let's go, let's go. lesson learned, lesson learned,lesson learned. what the fuck does this haveto do with computers?

i'm winning. stop. don't move, fatty. (whooping, cheering) (screams) sid:blue, ten points. ball! graham:thank you. (cheering)

what?! what?! time-out. time! lyle: bring it in, guys.come on, let's huddle up. good work, everybody. everybody except for you, zach. it's over. yeah, our team's a joke. well, i ain't laughing.

what about you, billy? hell, no. listen, we need toget our minds right and start believing. billy:this reminds meof a little girl who had to gether head right and start believing, a little girl from a steel town who had thedream to dance.

no one believedin that little welder girl, but thank god she believedin herself. are you talkingabout flashdance? the movie from the '80s? yeah, you'redamn right i am. that's exactly whati'm talking about. the deck was stacked against alex, and you knowhow she overcame those odds? by believing inherself and trying.

she literally hadto become a maniac. have any of you everbeen called a maniac? maybe because you were a little bit different? my mom calls me a maniac every night when i tell heri love her. of course she does, yo-yo. you are a little bit,in a good way. well, guess what.

that old bill gates, they called hima maniac, too. no question. yeah, i don't think anyoneever called him a maniac. i just calledhim a maniac. okay, damn it, guys. you guys are gettingoff the point here. she had to stripdown to nothing. she had to sit in that chairand arch her back,

and she pulleda chain to nowhere, and doused herself with water. yeah, where did thatwater come from? who knows? it came from her belief that it was there. she believed so hard shefound herself with an audition in front of those stuffed shirtsat the dance school, and she spun...oh, and she spun and she spun

and she spunand she spun and she spun herself intothat dance school. and she spun herselfinto our hearts. in the second half of whatever the hellyou guys call this game, can't we all bethat little welder girl who wants to besomething more? now, look, i know youguys aren't excited that we're on your team,but we're here.

guys, we're inthis thing together. so i'm asking you,believe in yourselves, believe in each other. let's put on ourleg warmers, and let's dance our asses off. come here, you littlelovable maniacs. get in here. all right, now, i got an ideathat i think would make bear bryant smile. neha: no idea

who that is,but we're listening. (blows whistle) (crowd roaring) (grunting):let's go! stuart! neha! nick:lyle, hit me! got it, got it, got it, got it! (grunts)

nick: baby! (nick grunting repeatedly) nick:blind her! i'm going in! yes! yo-yo! neha: yeah! stuart: eat it, malfoy! suck it! (distorted whoosh) (amplified slap)

see ya! lyle:coming at you, nick! graham:who's on blondie? neha:all right, let's go, boys. (ferocious yell) nick: okay. billy:pick and roll. stockton to malone! she shoots, she scores, baby!

baby, what's up?! tie game! where were you? huh? i had to use therestroom. i'm sorry. (crowd whooping, laughing) it's the golden snitch! who the fuck is this now? zach, get over here. all right, fatface, i thinkit's time to fake an injury.

i don't know howto fake an injury. (punch lands) (yells in pain) man down. (zach sobbing) get the tennis ball and we win! (cackling) neha:run, you big tree! nick: aah!

neha: go! come on, ref,you gonna call that?! (distorted whoosh,gasping, grunting) (roaring) (shouting) yeah! yeah! (triumphant roaring) billy: you can't be serious.that bitch just snaked me. that's got to be illegal.

sorry, if i didn't see it,i can't call it. nick:you okay there, golden boy? yeah, the snitch is fine. g.d. it! don't start that, yo-yo. you did your best out there today.that's the first time we all came together as a team. nick:goddamn it, billy's right.

let's keep it rolling. just keep it rolling. come on, let'sget a frosty. (panting): nick? yeah? would i be wrongto call you my brother? of course not.i'd do anything for my little show pony. look at me. anything.

i'm gonna need youto ice my balls for me. brother! nick (sighing):oh, boy. time to shut the engines downfor a little bit and... take a load off, nicky. oh, boy. what would i do without these babies? this is a "shh" zone. (whispering):hi. hey.

sorry. sorry, sorry, sorry. by the way, thank youfor sending me to that seminar. it was actuallypretty interesting. absolutely. (chuckles)what have you been up to? i'm gonna go. no, no, no, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait. you were here first;i'll leave.

uh, one thing before i go;quick question. if i was to invite someone out to a really nice dinneraround here, where would i go? um... i wouldn't know, actually. i spend most of my timeon campus. what?! that's criminal! has it occurred to you thati work hard for a reason? hmm? this maysound silly

to you, but i actuallybelieve that what we do here helps make people's livesa little bit better. no, no, no. i-i'm notsaying that sounds silly. i think it'sadmirable. i agree. i'm just sayingthat sometimes with all the work,that you can... forget about the personthat matters the most. is this a nap podor a convo pod? oh, that's right--it's a nap pod.

shh! yikes. (whispers): i knowwhere you're going with this. you think i'm some 30-year-old exec who's devoted her entire life to her career. right? and one dayi'm gonna wake up wanting more. stop me if i'm off base here. no?

well, no... what else does yourintuition tell you? that, um, i can't goon facebook anymore because it's nothing buthappy couples gloating about their perfect littlebabies in those tiny socks that look likegoddamn sneakers? (laughing): oh, yeah, yeah,the little chuck taylors. only i'm ten yearstoo late, right? because while i've been working

so hard, i missed outon all the bad dates and the assholes,and now i'm running out of time. no one told meit was a game of musical chairs. and by the timei figured it out, you know, you can forget it,it's too late. anyway... anyway... is that kind ofwhat you were gonna say to me? well, no, i was gonna suggestthat you work harder, that you roll upyour sleeves,

that you buckle downand you get to work. you can't change the worldwhen you're laying in a nap pod. no, but honestly, if any of whatyou were just saying applies even slightlyto yourself, you might want to think about doingsomething about it. and that's not me preaching at you;that's coming from someone who, when they wake up, the firstthing on their calendar

is regret. now, that's nota good feeling. anyway, i should go. man:thank you! but before i go... ah, geez! just bear with me.i want to throw down a challenge for you to go out to dinnerbefore i leave town.

i'll let you knowif a window opens up. great. and if it does,don't minimize it. don't clickthat little red "x" in the corner. see? i'm getting it. (whispering):i get it. (laughs softly)okay. shh. go back to sleep.

hey, chetty. pretty good effort on the, uh,quidditch field yesterday, huh? it was a game throwing balls,and you lost. yeah, but we really ralliedthe second half, i think. uh, kind of a spiritualvictory for us. well, perhaps you'll landa spiritual job. you know, mr. mcmahon,the admissions committee was split on you;you made it by one vote.

that deciding memberthought you showed promise. it's clear now that... he was wrong. sometimes the long shotspay off the biggest. enjoy your pudding. i will. oh, and, chetty? not for nothing, can't get me not to like you.

billy: all right, guys,let's take this new team spirit, and let's apply it to this nextapp challenge. we got this. stuart: yo, it'd helpif we had an idea for an app. nick: you bet your sweet assit would, stewie. stuart: no. never stewie. okay, you don't like "stewie." perimeter breachacknowledged, stuart. it'll feel good whenthis one warms up to me.

you know it's gonnahappen, right? i'll break you down likea two-by-four, bronco. watch me do it. okay, come on, guys, let's brainstorm this puppy. we're gonna putthe coffee in the pot, and we're gonna let itpercolate. let's go! i think it'll behelpful to explore what apps have beenmost popular in the past.

go backwards to go forwards. oh, and we can bin it,you know? fall out. uh, categorize needle-moversby type of user. you're gonna do what? lyle: there you go, neha. hit it both by functionand by user. the old two-prong. you'reon the forest moon of endor, taking out the shield generator,and you're launching

an offensivewith admiral ackbar. it's not a trap. all right, guys, i don't want tokill the momentum, or the mojo that you have cooking,but to be fair with you, needles and categories,they don't use apps. people use apps. so i have an idea-- nowadays, people aretaking pictures, right? they have their phones now;they're out.

something catches their eye,they want to take it. but then the photo's justsitting there-- what if they take that photoand instantaneously put it out there on the line and they share itwith their friends? that's instagram.it already exists. it's one of the mostpopular apps in the world. facebook bought 'emfor, like, a billion dollars. that's "billion" with a "b."

oh, no, no. mine isvery different than that. how is yours something"very different" than that? because, in mine, you're takingthe photo instantaneously, you're putting the photoout there on the line. it's online. yeah, i'm putting my photos out on the lineand i'm creating an exchange. yeah, that's instagram. but mine's more

of a social sharingon the line that's happening. online. stuart: quick interjection. when you keep saying "onthe line," you do mean "online"? stuart, don't do that.you don't do that to a man. he's got a million-dollar idearight here. billion-dollar idea. even better. let him flow. nick, i appreciate it.you can't bring me down.

i'm too positive. come here,let me share something with you. (scoffs) no. please, come.i'm gonna explain this to you in a waythat's visual. yo-yo: he's biggerthan you. be careful. so, now you're out there,take a photo. (clicking) just a pretend one.go ahead. (clicking) billy: now you take that photo,you put it on the line,

put it on twitter,you put it on whatever you want. that is instagram. that's instagram. hundred percent. i get it. we're hip. we're not dummies. point taken. now let'sgo with my concept. now you've taken aphoto instantaneously, or not instantaneously,

and then you take thoseand you send those out on the line. you don't have to say shit. you don't. you just say, "i like that photo,"and you share that photo instantaneouslyon the line with your friends. now everyone's exchanging ideas. everyone's exchanging photos!

and that'swhy the photos that are being sharedon the line... will be known as"exchangeagram." nice! holy shitballs, billy! we don't havetime for this. hello, fellow interns!graham hawtrey here. i've taken the liberty of attaching a linkto our app, which has

already been downloaded230 times. booyah! (horn plays fanfare) neha: great. we're gonna loseyet another challenge, we're not gonnaget these jobs, and our livesare basically ruined. billy: okay, hold on a sec.your life isn't ruined. you guys are 21 years old. you have your whole lifein front of you.

do you even know what it'slike to be 21 right now? i mean, a quarterof the kids coming out of collegecan't even get jobs. that's a correct statistic.mother says you can work hard and goto the right school, but nothingis guaranteed anymore. that's life. sorry. neha:these guys are right. the whole american dream thingthat you guys grew up on,

that's all it isnowadays-- a dream. you're too youngto be this cynical. do you really seethe world this way? stuart:that's not how we see it. it's just...the way things are now. billy:all right,that's it. everybody up.here we go. let's do it.breath-of-fresh-air time. why? we havework to do.

nick: no, no, no. uh-huh. ah-ah! time to hitthe reset button. we're taking itto the street. we're gonna get our headsright, 'cause we need to come together as a team,'cause that's not happening. what about the app? this is bigger than an app. okay, and by the way,we do have something

pretty terrific in our backpocket with that exchangeagram. just let it marinate. oh, we're holding four aces. stop saying no beforeyou give it a chance. oh, yeah, that's a winner. nick: here we go. time to light it up forever and never go to sleep. let's go.

lyle: can we talk about this"online, on the line" thing? please? stuart:we're gonna follow the morons? â™ª lookin' at, lookin' at,lookin' at me â™ª â™ª look at that, look at howthey lookin' at me â™ª â™ª eyes all stickylike honey on bees â™ª â™ª yeah, uh, uh â™ª â™ª look at that, look at howthey lookin' at me... â™ª (billy speaking chinese)

(raucous laughter) eh... (speaks chinese) oh, xiã¨xie! (laughs)my friend here says there's a dance club down the streetthat's supposed to be great. you're shitting me. no, i shit you not. come on, let's hit it.

â™ª driving my carto a foreign place â™ª â™ª lookin' at me,now they know my face â™ª â™ª we want it all now,we got it all â™ª â™ª yes, look at that,look at how they lookin' at â™ª â™ª look at how they lookin' at,look at how they lookin' at... â™ª (dance music booming) (lively chatter, whistling) â™ª roll that â™ª â™ª trust me, trust me â™ª

â™ª i'll give you one nightjust to love me â™ª â™ª have your man say, "fuck me" â™ª â™ª 'cause i beatthat pussy up ugly â™ª â™ª ooh... â™ª â™ª we gamblin'... â™ª are you surehe said "dance club"? you know, i wasrocking mandarin, he was rocking cantonese--something clearly got confused in the middle, but i say,boom goes the dynamite.

happy accident, right? show you to your table? great big worldout there, my friend. just three inches up,i beg you. any questions? (shuddering):oh... wow. holy... shit, that's deep. billy: all right, i thinkthat's our cue. here we go.

great. deal with it. come on! whoo! this is...this is good. i mean,it's totally cool. it's great. you okay there,firecracker? what? yeah. totally. what? this...this is my jam. i mean, this...this here is my shit.

no, look, i know this is your shit,but look, if you don't want to be here,i'll go grab those guys by their little boners,and we'll drag them, we'll all go back on the bus. yeah, we can... no, no, no, don'tdo that, don't do that. it's just, um... i've only readabout this stuff, okay?

craigslist casual encounters. twilight fan fiction. hentai. what's hentai? japanese comic bookswhere the women get penetratedby octopus tentacles. oh. ah. look, it's just... i have imagined... everything. it's just i've...i've never done... anything.

billy:hey, listen, your secret's safe with us. nick:and for whatit's worth, your imagination is so wild, reality's gonna be a breeze,if not a letdown. (laughs) thanks. show you to yourtable, cutie? â™ª i'd rather lose it allthan take it home without you â™ª â™ª roll the dice. â™ª

(cheering and whistling) nick:get in here! let's go! billy: it's about time this group had a night. nick: let the good times roll! billy: bingo...! nick: here you go! bottoms up, yo-yo.

oh, i-i can't. i-i can't. what?you're 21, right? yeah, but my mom says alcoholnumbs the brain. look, i'm not sayinga shot of tequila's the first step on thejourney to self-respect, but goddamn, maybe it's astep in the right direction. maybe? nick:your call.

one shot. neha: whoo! all right! stuart: that-a-boy! one shot! bang it, yo! let's go, baby! yeah! that's it, baby! to the night you'llnever remember! (yelling)

he's getting down, people! one more! billy: look what we gotcooking here. ready? exchangeagram moment, bitches! ready for your firstlap dance, professor? are you kidding?yo-yo stays ready. that way,he doesn't have to get ready. this is tapioca.

she's studyingto be a dental assistant. enjoy! (hand dryer whirring) it happens all the time. some would sayit's the point. it's all good. you might want to double upon the underwear next time. â™ª make that body work,make-make that body work... â™ª i got to tell you,

the reboot timeis impressive. trifecta. cheers, bud. hey, cheers. cheers. â™ª hot thing, hot thing,hot thing â™ª â™ª what's up with it? â™ª â™ª hot thing, hot thing â™ª â™ª shorty got a bodythat jeans can't hold â™ª â™ª and she movin' like she learneverything from the pole â™ª

â™ª and she love to party,number one hobby â™ª â™ª out till the morning,better ask somebody â™ª â™ª yo, talk to the girl,don't fool around â™ª â™ª oh â™ª â™ª watch what happen to youwhen she hear the sound â™ª â™ª tell her shake it up,tell her hit the ground â™ª â™ª gonna face time,see if she's down... â™ª no way. h-hi. billy: is that your danceteacher from back at google?

go talk to her. lyle (chuckles):y-yeah, for shizzle, you know, i just go up and i'm, like, "y-yo, you want to jointhe lyle-high club?" you know, lyle, sometimesthe most radical move is just to be yourself. and i really like the real lyle. go on, you'reburning daylight. let's do this.

uh, hi. okay, good. (laughs):hi. you were really good up there. i mean, that wasamaz... i... not in... not in,like, a sexual way. well, kind of ina sexual way. it was... you're very talented. everything you do is special,

is what i'm saying. i'm-i'm just...i'm so embarrassed. what? you're embar...are you kidding? now we're even,because dancing in your class at googlewas one of the most embarrassing momentsof m'life. well, if it makes you feel any better, i don't rememberanything specifically awful. oh, poop. you don'tremem... you don't...

well, then that meanswe're not even, and... there's only one veryunfortunate way to fix that. (grunting rhythmically) (laughs)okay, yes, all right, that is burned in my memory.you can stop now. how about i stop... if and only if... i can buy you a drink? i would love that.

shots? yes. shots. shots. â™ª i can fuck you â™ª â™ª better, better,better, better â™ª â™ª better, better â™ª â™ª hey, i heardyou were a wild one â™ª â™ª wild one, wild one, ooh â™ª â™ª oh, i-i like crazy,foolish, stupid â™ª

â™ª party going wild,fist-pumping music... â™ª marielena:i-i love teachingat google, but it's only part-time,and it doesn't cover my tuition,so i augment. no, don't augment;you look perfect the way you are. aw. thanks. could i get a dance?

not now. look, bitch,i don't know who you thinkthis geek is, but i spend a shitloadof dinero in this place and i expect to nut. yeah, i know, i'm totallya geek, biff tannen. huh? who's biff tannen? you're, um, biff from back to the future, right? you want to take this outside?

no, i think i'd rather stay here and talkto the pretty girl. yeah, well,let's rock, not talk. hey, man... stop it. hey, is therea problem here? it looks like somebody needstheir two way older brothers to fight for them, huh? oh, and it's theunited colors of nerd.

do all you guyswork together? i'm gonna out on a limband say it's a tech company. free cerealand ugly people? oh, whoa! hey! nick:come on,take it easy. is this the jets and the sharks? so why don't you guyshead that way, we'll head this way,and never the twain shall meet. have a great night.

that's a good idea. (grunting, punches landing,excited chatter) (indistinct shouts) (grunting continues) my mother hits harder than you! yeah! down goesfrazier! whoo! what's up! oh, shit! see you again!i'll kill you! hide your kids!hide your wife!

(excited chatter) stuart: that's how you party! yo-yo:we're too hot to party-- that's why theygot to kick us out. 'cause they're gonnacall the fire department. why don't you bring itoutside to party? nick:no more fun.come on. nick:look at that view. come on, you'renot gonna see that

on your littlefour-inch screen. you got to look up. stuart (chuckles): yeah. okay, buddy, you werean animal out there tonight. (laughing):no, you were. did you have a good time? yeah, it was all right. "it was all right." why do you do that?

what do you mean?do what? lowball me like that. come on, i'm notgonna take away your "cool guy" card if youadmit you give a shit about something or, god forbid,you had a great time. (clears throat) um... all right, it was fun. stewie... all right, what?what do you want me to say,

it was the bestnight of my life? only if it's true. (groans) all right, it was thebest night of my life. my noogler! come here! my noogler. wow, i don't believe therehasn't been one boyfriend along the way.

nope. that's embarrassing. well, it's nothingto be embarrassed of. you got plentyof time for that. i mean, you'rethe whole package. you're beautiful, you're smart,you got great teeth. you do. unbelievable chompers onthe old girl, i mean it.

for sure. and, uh... terrific shoes--i'm always excited to see what kind of getupyou're gonna throw together. that part's true. well, it is true. a lot of greatthings going. some guy's gonna findhimself very lucky to be next to you. yeah, i'm not so sure.

well, i am. and i've beenaround a little bit. i'm positive. lyle:â™ª hot thing, hot thing â™ª â™ª hot thing,what up with it, hot thing â™ª â™ª what up with it,hot thing... â™ª nick: lyle! looks like you hit it offwith saffron tonight. i'm texting herthat i love her, and i'm sending herthis picture i just took

of little lyle whenhe made pee in the bushes. look, he's winking. nick: no, lyle,lyle, lyle, that's a horrible idea. please don't do that.you're drunk off your ass. i appreciate your concern, but i'm flying, baby.(high-pitched chuckle) okay, lyle,you're not flying. what's 17 squared?

289. why? give me a harderquestion than that. you know where i'mdriving with this. try, uh, maybe square rootof 17. like, 4.23, maybe? that's the app. that's the appwe should do right there. some quiz questionyou got to answer before you can send a drunk textor a drunk e-mail or phone call,

something to protect youfrom yourself. that's good.can we do that? hells, yeah, we could do that. are you shitting me? i could program the shitout of that bitch on the bus ride home. billy: well,i'll take that as an overwhelming yes, then!come on! nick: let's roll!

let's get back to hq! stuart: hey, wait, wait. let's-let's stay, like,five minutes, you know? just enjoy the viewa little more. nick:all right. wow. yeah. (billy sighs) oh, the whole world looks like a giant pinwheel of deathright now.

price of makingmemories, stewie. yo-yo:i think myliver hurts. astonishingly, your app received ten timesmore downloads than any other team's. it appearsthat you have won your first challenge. how about it? congratulations.

lyle: oh, yeah! come on, baby. the lead! (retching) oh, easy there, big guy. (yo-yo continues retching) he gets overexcited. lovely. (whispering):let it out.

let it out, little feller. that's what i'mtalking about. right there! yeah! right there! â™ª whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh â™ª â™ª all right! â™ª â™ª she's coming home to me â™ª â™ª because i said â™ª â™ª "i'm lonely,darling, please" â™ª â™ª but instead of waiting... â™ª

you got it, yougot it, you got it, you got it, you got it. keep going. come on.come on, neha. you got it, you got it. â™ª whoa, oh-oh... â™ª (cheering and whooping) â™ª whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh... â™ª (over tv):logan, i'd have jean... our professor x wasway meaner than this guy.

(laughing) you're not kidding. it wasn't funny at the time. â™ª whoa, oh-oh â™ª â™ª oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh â™ª so, you see, what i'mdoing right now is i'm superchargingmy css and html skills, 'cause you can do themboth simultaneously. html5, right?

that's one step beyond the html5 that they mentionedthe other day with the css3,remember? guys, when it comesto writing code, you've got your choiceof a number of editors. editors such as emacs,nano and vi... what? what does that mean? ...have featureslike syntax highlighting and syntax specificautocomplete.

it occurred to me, why notuse emacs rather than vi as the default editorfor ubuntu? that's actually...a very good thought, nick. dana: vi versus emacsis a constant debate. moving on... let's talk integratedpersonal development. â™ª oh, i love you â™ª â™ª oh, i love you. â™ª (phone ringing)

sammy. what, did you forget an insult? billy, you magnificentson of a bitch. how's unemployment?listen. i want you twoto come work for me. sammy, my boy,i thought you retired. i did, nicky, i did,but i have stumbled onto king solomon's mines,my friends. two words:motorized scooters.

head down to modesto. start checking outthe old-age homes. ah, sammy, we alreadyhave the gig here. whoa, whoa, we-we-we...we got a new gig. yeah, we're internsat google. interns at google? who are you kidding? you're salesmen. this is a sales gig.

it's a job. sammy, we've hadlots of jobs. we're trying to builda future here. and i'm tryingto get hard on my own, but the cialisis a guarantee. you finish upwith this "internship," who knows what'sgoing to happen? exactly. who knowswhat's going to happen? that's what i'm saying.why are you repeating

what i'm saying? shh. time for babyto go night-night. no. what? you're...billy, you're cutting out. shh... that felt great. you know what? i'll catch upwith you later, okay? all right.i'll see you in a bit. nick: you know, if thisis being a workaholic, maybe i should get a glass.

i have 15 minutesuntil my next meeting. okay, well, here's the thing. you know how we were talkingabout regret and... i remember you talkingabout regret. well, i don't want to add "not asking you out"to that list, because that credit cardis maxed out. okay, so can we establish you are, in fact,asking me out on a date?

yes. and i figure that i'm sucha mountain of mistakes that going out with mejust once this evening will be likepacking ten years of bad experiences into,you know, one night. okay. fine. i'm saying yes. great. great. okay. i'm in. all right. yeah.

well, i'll leaveyou to it. okay. tonight. yes. good. okay. hello, william. i've been watching you. you should choose your words a little more carefullyin a bathhouse. in the words of nelly... "it's getting hot in herre."

it's getting hot out there, too. you definitelygot my attention. all right... i'm feeling likei want to go put my robe on now. enough to doa little research on you. what did we find out? let's see. your, uh... your companywas shut down. your home was foreclosed upon. your credit scoreis actually negative.

that's kind ofamazing, billy. that's hard to do. you try hard, mcmahon. i'll give you that. but things never quitework out for you, do they? so, i could waste my energytrying to beat you, but it seems, given enough time,you always find a way to fail. i just need to getout of your way. so this is me going.

only two challenges remain, after whicha mere handful of you will be offeredfull-time employment. now, the next challengeis manning the google helpline. this is one of the mostdifficult jobs we have-- combining bothcustomer relations and product fluency. you will be judged on both. this is a very tight raceright now.

i suggest you study up. all right.let's drill it and kill it. authorization failurewith google drive. neha. permission's probably changed. request document access. bam! chrome connectivity issue.nick. unselect proxy serverfor your lan. billy, i'm locked outof my google wallet account.

is that under gmailor wallet help? "uh, i don't know, sir. that's kind of whati called you for." here's the deal. i'm prettyterrific on the phones. i could sell prosciuttoto a rabbi, and i have. except you're not hereto sell anything. stuart: yeah, billy,you're not going to be able to bullshit your waythrough this one. i mean, the only way to nailthis challenge is to study.

you just... you justgot to do it, man. well, great. then study upis what i'm going to do. i'm going to study up. let me ask you, is there,like, as a general rule, like, a blanket statement i could saythat could apply to literally anything? and then i'm eithergoing to shove product down their face, right,

or i'm going to give themanother hotline? what you are exactlyis tech support. so, if you referredthem to another phone number,what would happen is that your phonewould ring again, 'cause you'd be the numberthat they were referring to. what i'm suggestingis give me the blanket thing where i'm not necessarily wrong,i'm not necessarily right, and then i'll either hit themwith another helpline,

a real helpline, or i'll pushsome product on them. you want me to shove someproduct down their throat? 'cause i'll do it. full disclosure: i think you're workingharder than you have to. all you have to do is clickthe button and read. i got it. (button clicks) bam. done. read it.

i got it. i'll do it. that's my man, bill.all right. it's going to be fine. you'll get it. lyle:how's everybodyelse doing? stuart: yeah, i'm good. lyle: okay. nick (mouth full):is it just me, or is this foodincredible, right?

you're a liar. what do you mean? you were supposedto be an asshole. you were supposed topack a decade worth of jerks and bad datesinto one night. remember? all right, now i remember. yes. but so far, you've been... totally fine.

totally fine? wha-wha. no, i have dropped the ball. i did promise that,and i haven't delivered. you know what?can we get the check, please? may we get the check when youget a chance, jennifer? how'd you know my...? well, it says right hereon this little necklace. and now that i got the name,how about the number?

ah... i'm just kidding. or maybei'm not kidding. you're so cute. so beautiful. wow. did you justhit on the waitress? i did. yes, yes. the lady asked for a jerk, and i am trying to live upto my promise. i said ten years of assholes,

so, you know, you gotsome ground to cover. you know what? i thinkyou've had enough dessert. i've been watching youeat all night. okay, let me take care of this, because you've gotto watch your figure. and you're right onthe borderline. you know what they say: "a moment on the lips,forever on the hips," right? mmm, this is divine.

oh, you do not knowwhat you are missing. it's incredible. that's nice. that's nice. but here's something youaren't missing-- this check. because i got the cab,so there you go. (both laughing) jennifer. bullshit! wow, a little heartand everything.

(laughs) huh. now, why don't youtake care of that? because the nightis still young. i'm taking youto see some dogfighting. rock and roll.i think we're up to five years. (laughing):yeah. oh... yeah,let me get this. oh, that's a... that's amazing. billy: okay...

"in gmail, a 'bad request'message shows if..." shows if... "your internet is down." son of a bitch. it shows... jesus christ! you scared the shit out of me! ...if your browserhas a bad or outdated cookie. wait, you could... with...?

hmm? i... i can hear everything. i'm... i'm not actuallylistening to anything. this allows meto be with myself. i'm not very goodwith other humans. well, i'm not very goodwith gmail support. no, actually, you're quite horrible. you can do this.

this can be learned. but those kids, the way that they look at you--you have a way with people. (inhales deeply) (blowing loudly) that's a lost art. go again. go again. (taps keys) "in chrome..."

for you, this is like teaching a little kidthe alphabet, right? no, actually, it's liketeaching a kid a letter. just one letter. yeah, you're not...you're not... your strong point would not becommunicating to humans. i know. all right, that was my guy.all right. give it to me straight.i like it.

no chaser. we're having fun. i am.i hope you are. well, thank you. that was, uh, really awful. oh, you're welcome. i aim to please. i told you i wasgoing to deliver on ten years of assholes,

and i think i dida pretty good job. it was almost a little bittoo convincing at times. was it? that doesn't surprise me. when you've been out there running and gunningfor as long as i have, you learn toplay the game. oh. i'd be out therelaying my rap. i'd have girlsliterally thinking

i was an astronomer. i'd be pointing outconstellations and harvest moons. "oh, there's plutoover there." and then they'd start to fact-check youwith the internet. you know, googlehas singlehandedly cut into my abilityto bullshit. cramping your style?

big-time. making you a better person? true. 90% google... ten percent you. just ten percent? really? let's call it 20%. you know, i, um... i really didn't expectto like you. i didn't thinkyou'd like me, either.

dana:thank you. that was my ride home. chetty: good morning. welcome to the google helpline. you will man the phonesfor exactly one hour. now, before you begin... i'm so readyfor this thing. i was up all lastnight studying. this is where team lyletakes the lead.

chetty: ...icon,accessing your account so that we can reviewyour work later. the helpline... is open now. google helpline.my name's billy. how can i help you? google helpline.this is nick. great, so you're saying thatyou're locked out of your gmail. nick:hello to you. well, the good newsis uncle bill here

happens to keep a keyunder the mat. but i'm going to playa hunch here. delete all your cookies. did that work? great. glad i could help. yeah, what it is,is you probably just have too many gmails openat the same time. you want to try to go aheadand close a couple of those downand see if that does the...?

okay, great.thank you so much. call with anything else. this is neha. how can i help you?it's not a problem. you're going to clickon the gear icon, then settings,then advanced settings. yeah, you can actually havethe same tabs open across all your devices. so the browser windowskeep on opening,

and then you're telling methat that's from amazon? your computer's got malware.use an antivirus software. but here's what i want to do.i want to help you clear that up before the wife gets home.am i making sense? okay, you're going to wantto sign in to google wallet. update your credit cardexpiration date. that's the problem. billy: well, the calendar sync issue pops upwhen you switch time zones.

are you on vacation? miami. very nice. well, let's get yourbrowser cache cleared up, and then i'm going to talk you through the best cuban spotsin town there. google helpline. this is graham.how can i help you? okay, your device probably isn'tcompatible with google play. and i want to have you out theresalsa-ing, sweating and grinding up against a complete strangerthat you don't even know,

having a pretty good timedoing some wrong things. are we on the same page? okay, see that boxat the bottom of your window? click that twice for me. â™ª come on, baby, let mehear you do that conga â™ª â™ª you know you can'tcontrol any longer â™ª (billy scatting) time's up. so soon? man, i was just

getting warmed up here. good going here. is smoke comingoff this thing? come on, ladybug. please submit your log filesso that i may review your work later. billy: all right. happily.just click the blue button. billy:where's that at?

click the blue button,upper left. mine's not blue.mine's gray. up in the corner.it's not... i can't click it. what?no, no, the blue one. mine wasn't clicking.mine's gray. is anyone else's gray? did you not hearmy opening remarks? yeah, no, i heard mostof your opening remarks. it's just, i was...i was getting in the zone.

i was pre-gaming it. i was very clear that you had to loginto your account so that i could reviewyour work later. well, the good news is that youreviewed my work now. you-you don't needthe instant replay because you sawthe touchdown live, in person. i don't really understandthat analogy,

but i do knowthat attention to detail is of paramount importance here and my instructionswere explicit. now, if there'sno recording, then it's as if youdidn't even show up today. except i did show up. i'm-i'm sitting right here,chetty. well, according to your log,you're not. and since every internmust complete the challenge

in order for your teamto be scored... ...your team will unfortunately receivea score of zero. nick:zero? well done, mr. mcmahon. perhaps more studying,less pudding. chetty, come on. you're not going to trip uswith a technicality. he's right here.

graham: oh, billy, billy,billy, what have you done? it's you lot i feel bad for. it's really hardto get here. some of you are probablypretty intelligent. you deserve better. (sighs)it's all right, el niã±o. we'll get 'em. i studied for the test.i studied for... stuart:well, that's great.

that's another winfor team graham. yo-yo:there's only one challenge left. even if we're perfect,it won't be enough. neha:we had 'em, too. nick: we did, but,you know, it's just a little hiccup,a little adversity, all right? stuart:no, nick, come on. face it.look, billy's a great guy and everything, but he kind ofblew it for us today.

yeah, i know... billy: the kidsare right, nick. i just wanted to... come by and let you guys know that i...i did study last night. i tried my best. it's just, uh, you know,today on the phones, i just... it's my fault. and, uh...

he was right when he saidthat you guys deserve better. i'm really sorrythat i cost you. damn. billy, would you stop? let me go, nick.i'm not helping anybody here. what do you mean,you're not helping anybody? you're helping those kids. where are you going? what, you're going to goradio silence on me?

come on,i'm not going to let you ride away fromthe garden of eden. i let down the team, nick. you didn't letdown the team. and who cares ifyou made a mistake? nick, i'm not taking everyonedown with me. billy, let me turnthese high beams on you. give me a chance to turn youwith a sports metaphor. damn it, nick,

it's the best thingfor everybody! stop dragging me downwith all your horseshit, man. you're doing great here, okay? i'm not. i got it. just get off my back. how dare you.how dare you. shame on you! put this badge back on! if you're going to quit, quit,

but don't give me this crapabout it's better for the team. come on, billy. (power tools whirring) billy:randy? so, i-i'm, uh, billy mcmahon. sammy sent me down here.i'm the new salesman. well, no shit. my new partner.(laughs) chetty: ladies and gentlemen, it has been

an impressive summer. and one final challenge remains. sales. over a million companiesadvertise with google. find one that doesn't. convince them. the bigger the sale, the more chance you haveof taking this competition. the winner willbe announced

at our final meetingthis afternoon. good luck. happy hunting! on me. sales, son! man, those other bitchesare going down! wait, where's billy? he left. you heard him.

he thought he washolding us back, and he didn't want to talkabout it, that's for sure. we got to get him back. she's right, we're all a team--that's what you guys taught us. stuart: i mean,it might have been buried under, like, a mountainof obscure '80s references and just,you know, a ton of other super inappropriatebullshit that i guess was intendedas life lessons,

but, i mean,you did teach us how to come together, nick. you taught us that. the problem is, when he makes up his mind on something,ol' billy has a tendency to really dig in. we might haveto get ready to do this one without him. yeah, but, nick,we wouldn't want to.

right, guys? hey, tony! slow it down, man. i'm just kidding. how long you beenworking this territory? three years. it's great, though,you know. you get to build a relationshipwith the customer. and then they die.(laughs)

suddenly you're reselling scooters with 25,35 miles on them, tops. everybody wins. hey, hey! look who's back! hey, randy! randy! how are you? (randy sighs) how's it going, old-timer?

hey, randy. what do you want? treat them like shit. only makes them want you more. hey, everybody!listen up! this is my newtail gunner, billy. billy, why don't youtell them about that, uh, sweet ride you justpulled up on? oh, you meanthe, uh, brand-new x-70.

it's got an eight-hour motor. and it's got a rear-mountedstainless sleeve for your oxy tank. you have no ideahow much boning goes on in this place. it's amazing. check this one out. ethel. that's her name. she calls my junk"the cocoon."

says it makes herfeel younger. actually loweredher blood pressure. (scoffs)i'm not fighting it. i'm a life-giverand a lovemaker. ethel! ethel! (gasps) what's up, girl?! come here, boo. oh...

who's your friend?well, hello there. what the hell areyou doing here? what the hellare you doing here? billy. ethel and, uh, doris here tell me they're up fora little group play. can i count you in? what the shit? uh, i'm sorry, randy.this is my old partner.

this is nick. nick, this is...this is my new partner. this is randy. welcome to the jungle, ese. what do you say, billy? mind giving mejust a second here? no problem. what the hell are you doing? new partner, huh?

i'm a salesman, nick;i sell things. yeah, i remember another guywho was selling some things, plying the mattress trade,when in walks this behemoth-- big guy, big mouth,big dream-- and he made this oldson of a gun remember there's still some dreamsfloating around out there. it's not too late. you just got to reachout and grab them. damn it, nick,i reached for my dreams.

why don't you justleave it alone? i messed it up for everybody. you forgot toclick a button! you're not acomputer wizard. all right? you're also not a pussy. you're tough.you grew up in the '70s. remember whatthat was like? there weren'tany computers.

just like we didn'thave bike helmets or sunscreensor seat belts. did you wear a seat belt? what was yourseat belt? my mom would go like this. yeah. it was your momgoing like that. and how'd that work out? you know;i went through the windshield. 89 stitches.

made you look likea little bad-ass all of third grade. and were you afraid to get backin that station wagon? nah. five years later, you took out that very same carwithout permission from nobody. not your parents,not old man law. it was just you and sally moranparked at the point, finger-blasting away. didn't even know if youwere doing it right.

nick, wh-where you goingwith this thing? i'm saying lifeis that station wagon. and yeah, sometimes it's gonna throw youthrough the windshield, crack your skull wide open,maybe even break your heart. but every once in a while, it's gonna drop a sally moranin your backseat. now, we came to googlefor a reason, right? i can't promisewe're gonna win,

but we're goingback there, and we're gonna see those kids,and we're gonna see it through. you get your assback in that car, and you ride. you hear me,billy bojangles mcmahon? ride. neha: "contextual targeting "technology can "automatically match,um, your ads to

"web pages, uh, that are most relevantto your business." yo-yo? "review ad performance "to see impressions, click, cost andconversion data." look, you seemlike good kids, and i appreciateyou stopping by, but we're just afamily-run business.

we don't do the internet. thanks for coming. frankie will get youa slice on the way out. (bicycle bell dings) graham: oi, oi. neha:oh, great. this guy. saw you checked in hereon foursquare. thought we'd stop by.

that's really creepy. is that all? it is all, actually. we just closed a sale at a coffee shopdown the street. your chances ofcatching up to us just went fromzero to piss-all. now, if you'll excuse us, we've got to get tothe final meeting.

get these jobs of which we'reso profoundly deserving. zach? eyes off the pizza, mate. god made you lactose-intolerantfor a reason, yeah? you're so fat. all right, on me! what a douche! (car horn honks) guys.

welcome back, billy boy. good to be with you. what happened there? uh, well, he didn't bite,so it did not go well. you know who else itdidn't go well for? lay it on us, big daddy. that's right, the little steel town girl alex. when she finally gother shot in front of

all those stuffed shirts,she took a tumble and fell. you want to hear somethingtotally nuts? she picked herself back up,she tightened that little ass, and she pumped her legs,and she danced herself right back into their hearts and into a slotat that dance school. and that's whatwe're gonna do. tighten your asses.let's go. get her done, boys.

listen, guys, we've alwaysdone things the same way: yellow pages, flyers, san jose mercury news. billy:now, look, we're all creatures of habit,am i right, sal? i mean, we all likewhat we know. there's noquestion about it. but you know what thescariest thing in life is? the thing in life that frightensus the most?

change. nick: and bythe way, i think most people are guiltyof getting set in their ways. i know i need changeto come along and give me a little kickin the ass to get me moving. all right, listen, guys,i know where you're going. but i'm not gonnachange anything. like i already told yourfriends, we're getting by okay. sal, with all due respect, ifyou fight for your limitations,

you get to keep them. do you hear yourself?you're getting by okay. "okay"? i mean, jesus! "okay" isn't good. i mean, "okay" isn't great. i'm starting to thinkthis guy's selfish. "okay" isn't fantastic! nick: look, i don't wantto get sideways with you. you're as big as a barn.

he looks likehe was carved out of a damn mountain,for god's sakes. but you're an artist, okay? this is great pizza! picasso with pepperoni! billy: and, hey,stop it, do not even get me started on the sauce. i mean, is therenutmeg in there? something.

so look-it, i can respect the fact that youdon't want to divulge, but if i'm right,don't say anything. exactly! there's your answer! (chuckling): sal, come on. all i'm saying is, why shouldpapa john's make all the dough, when papa sal's gotthe better sauce? sal:you know what?

now you're startingto sound like him. he wants to open upa sal's in los gatos. frankie: the biggerchains are killing us. we're barely staying afloat. when you franchise,you lose quality. you lose the tastethat people trust. you want to know whymy sauce is better? i'll tell you why. 'cause i go down to thefarmers' market every day,

i buy themtomatoes myself. i walk down the street,i get the basil, the oregano. look, guys, i know these people. i'm part of the fabricof this neighborhood. that's good enough for me. sal, that's betterthan good enough. that's the best. and we're notsuggesting that you abandon theneighborhood here.

all we're saying is, what if your neighborhoodgot a little bit bigger? take a look at this, sal. these are all just peoplethat love your pizza. talk about word of mouth, huh? yeah, they're talking about you, sal; don't youwant to talk back to them? did you know there are almost as many peoplefrom los gatos

searching for sal'sas there are from palo alto? neha:yeah, and they pop in when they're in town,but if there was a location closer to them,they'd be regulars, right? boom. check itout right here. i found a great commercial spotright on los gatos boulevard. just hit the market. that's 0.3 miles away from the nearestfarmers' market.

you can smell them tomatoesfrom your front door. farm to table. f to t, baby! baby. f to t! f to t is exactlyright, gomer lyle! we're not asking youto abandon the artistry. we're just telling youexpand the reach a little bit. but look-it, sal,at the end of the day,

the kids, they gottheir computers, they got their information. it's all accurate. i get it, and iknow you do, too. i tell you, sal, i can't blame youfor being a little afraid. hell, we were scaredfor a long time out there, grinding it outwith our heads down. and lord knowsi've fallen

on my ass more thana time or two. but i promise you something. you lift your head up... ...and take a breath, there's a lot of greatpossibilities out there. nick:new customers, new franchise-- and that's justthe tip of the iceberg, sal. it's all waitingat the click of a button. everybody's searchingfor something, sal.

nick:they're searchingfor you. we just want to help themfind you. (crowd chattering) tgif, nooglers! all right! (sid laughs) easy, easy. it's okay, it's okay. now, today marks not onlythe end of the week,

but the end ofthe summer's internships. (crowd groans) as you can seethrough these images behind me, it's been quite a journey. lot of memories, lot of bonds were made. kind of reminds meof the first time i owned a personal...all right. today, we reveal the intern teamthat will be awarded jobs here.

sadly, one team has not returnedfrom their final challenge, so, therefore, i'm forcedto calculate the results with their score as an incomplete. we have a victor. (crowd murmuring) congratulations... (static humming, crackling)

("flashdance... what a feeling"playing over speaker) no way! (dana laughs) what's going on? â™ª what a feeling â™ª â™ª i am music now â™ª â™ª being's believing â™ª okay, calm down. come on. â™ª pictures come alive â™ª

â™ª you can danceright through your life â™ª â™ª take your passion â™ª â™ª and make it happen â™ª yes, yes, yes, yes! yes! â™ª you can dance... â™ª extra toppingson this one, boss. i see that. â™ª i can really have it all â™ª â™ª what a feeling... â™ª

chetty:that's enough! that's enough! (music fades) graham:yes, lovely theatrics, but the jig is up. it's too late. rules are rules, right, chetty? yes. rules are rules. and the rules statethat every team has the right

until the announcement is madeto turn in their sales. so, in spite of stuart: yes! your lack of punctuality,which is astounding, i have no choice... but to accept this submissionand to recalculate. graham:go ahead. recalculate. one sale to a smallfamily pizza joint's

not gonna makea difference anyway. it does seem that mr. hawtreyis correct once again. boom. the salesfrom one shop on the last challenge are notenough to put you in the lead. i'm sorry, bud. chetty:but... this is not one shop. you see,

this... isa blossoming franchise with endless possibilities,thanks to you. and what you have done as a team is connect to people and connect those peopleto information. which is what we do. and more than that, you had the courage to dream. in spite of your obvious

and astonishing limitations, you never gave up on that dream. so... gentlemen... ...and lady... graham: whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa. hold on. chetty, no offense,you're a glorified babysitter. let's get somebody down herewho actually means something. man:i'm right here.

graham, please meetmr. anderson. billy:you know this guy? i should think i do. andrew here isthe head of search-- a rather important positionhere at google. honest, it's an honor. look at you, headphones. a little mysterybehind the boy. what? how-how do you know him?

we were encouraged to reach outto experienced googlers. pretty simple.not a big mystery. to reach out to other googlers,not just kiss their asses. you see, these interns are smart, collaborative, pretty... (whispering):thank you. ...and just weird enough to make theminteresting. also, they came togetheras a team

to do something here. their googlinessis truly off the charts. oh, my god, can you stopwith the "googliness"? like, what does thateven mean? the fact that you don't knowwhat it means is why you will never work here. (quietly): also, you justmade me use a bunch of words in front of aton of people. you're a real dickfor doing that.

look at me again. and i know your accentis bullshit. ...welcome to google. yes! yes! boom! i have a job!i have a job! graham:hey, why are you getting up? i should be the winner.i should be the winner! well, i hopeyou're all happy.

what were you thinking? maybe if i had a team of equalswho contributed once in a while, this never wouldhave happened. what about you? what do youhave to say for yourself, eh? i think it's timeto fake an injury. what are you talking about,you fat... (crowd gasps) man down! chetty, i appreciatewhat you said back there.

i know you had us figured wrongfrom the beginning. he voted for youfrom the beginning. (chuckling):what? mr. chetty was the deciding voteon the intern committee. chetty: i didn't havea fancy education like most ofthe people here. i had to work hardto get to where i am. and i recognizeda similar tenacity in you two gentlemen,so i took a chance on you.

you did test my faitha few times. basically, the entire time. but i'm glad youproved me right. chetty, thanksfor betting on us. good to see you. so it looks likeyou're gonna be seeing a lot more of mearound here. so it does. look, theother night...

it was fun. yeah, it was fun. no regrets. all right, let's getto that warm, fuzzy part. um, that's notgoing to happen. (microphone feedback hums) god, i love him even more. he leaves it cold like that.you know what i mean? you keep playing hard to get,

you're gonna find yourselfall alone. chetty: we're not gonnahave a beer together. we're gonna haveabout five of them. we're equals now,my friend. no, we're not. yes, we are. let's go pick out some other interns and shapesome diamonds in the rough. please stop following me.please stop talking to me.

we're gonna get drunk. have a great senior year, guys. we'll keep your desk chairswarm for you. team lyle. (all cheering) that's the spirit. yo-yo! come. now. mom, i need a minute. yo-yo, i not go. we need to...

mom. i'm saying good-byeto my friends. i'm taking a minute. look who grewan eyebrow, yo-yo! all right, you riffraff,get out of here. see you down the road. see you guys. see you, bud. thank you, captain.

thank you, big b. bye, guys. my khaleesi. my sun and stars. (lyle chuckles) what do you say? you wantto go get weird in a nap pod? so, um, don't be a stranger. shoot me a text sometime. forget that.

i'm gonna comesee you in person. yeah, i'd like that. hey, guys, i grewa pair of balls. did you see them? you did! you grew a big pairof balls, my man. it was amazing. they're touchingmy ankles. well, that...we don't need that.

hey, congratulations, guys. thank you, boss. you know, i did get youa little something. not to gettoo sentimental... whoa! whoa! look at thishigh roller. busting out thepappy on me. i figuredwe earned a swig. hell of a summer, bud.

hell of a summer. â™ª doo wacko â™ª â™ª here's to you, honey â™ª â™ª but i'm out of your league â™ª â™ª you're never gonna pass me â™ª â™ª 'cause i'm outof your league â™ª â™ª your league, your league â™ª â™ª lookie here, baby â™ª â™ª you're coming my way â™ª

â™ª but i move like a landslide â™ª â™ª so get out of my wayand stay away â™ª â™ª up from the flooron the count of ten â™ª â™ª oh, you get up, you get downand you try it again â™ª â™ª up and downand around again... â™ª british. listen, professor... â™ª all right â™ª â™ª ooh-ooh-ooh â™ª

â™ª ooh-ooh-ooh, ow! â™ª â™ª time to learn a lesson â™ª â™ª like pavlov's dog â™ª â™ª if same-ing isn't working â™ª â™ª why don't you differentinstead, instead, instead? â™ª â™ª like samson and delilah â™ª â™ª attila and the huns... â™ª buddy, they can'tsee us, okay? i understand that,

but here we go. go cheek to cheek. just go like i tell you. okay, don't interrupt me. put your (bleep)cheek next to mine. yeah, i get it. you got us? hi, my name is billy. yeah, nick campbell. oh, good.

you can hear me. â™ª oh, you get up â™ª â™ª you get downand you try it again â™ª â™ª up and down and around again â™ª â™ª round for round â™ª â™ª hit the ground â™ª â™ª oh, you get up, youget down and you try it again â™ª â™ª oh, you get up, youget down and you try it again. â™ª guys, hi.

hey.so, what do you think? cosplay.what can you say? i knew you'd love it. stuart totallyloves it, too, now. you guys have fun. billy:okay, great. don't worry about us.we're having a great time. don't worry about us.we're having fun. (muffled yelling)

uh-oh. here we go. oh, hit it. classic star wars villain. looking on with boba fett.we're just observers. we're just hereto observe. it's me! kevin. shit. guys. yeah.

what the hellare you doing here? cosby. it's yourfirst time at cosby? it's my new journey. and i have you to thank. you really pointedsome things out. i was being ajerk to people. 'cause i was hurting inside. well, it takes a big manto admit he's wrong, kevin. good for you.

anyway, i'm going todive back into the fun. ooh, check outthis hot little number. i don't know if it's a...ewok or a space squirrel. i can't wait to rip into that. how do you knowwho's underneath the mask? look, i don't know what'sunderneath the hood, and i don't give a shit. i'm insatiable. now, if you excuse me,old boba fett's

going to give this squirrela couple nuts to hide. you know boba fett--he always fucked the space squirrelat the end of the movie. audience knewit was coming. audience wanted it. audience got it. â™ª but instead of waiting â™ª â™ª i go flying off to you â™ª â™ª why? â™ª

â™ª well, just because â™ª â™ª i arrive when you're gone â™ª â™ª so i wait at your door â™ª â™ª you pull upin some guy's car â™ª â™ª around 4:00 â™ª â™ª i punch him, kiss â™ª â™ª and carry you inside â™ª â™ª oh, oh, oh, ow! â™ª â™ª oh, baby, do youlike me that way? â™ª

â™ª there's something 'bout youthat makes me wanna say, yeah â™ª â™ª i don't mind, i don't mind,i don't mind, ow! â™ª â™ª oh, baby,i like you that way â™ª â™ª why? â™ª â™ª well, just because â™ª (song ends) captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

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